Before and during photo's. 150 - 130

I'm not trying to upset you but looking at your dairy it shows you need to visit the doctors. Losing weight by eating 400 kcals a day is doing serious damage to your body.

HI, I too am concerned about the extreme low cal diet and here is why:

If you are eating less than 1200 cal/day you are slowing down your metabolism and setting yourself up for MAJOR failure in the long run. Yes you will lose a lot of weight for a few weeks. Then you will start getting severe headaches because you body is literally eating your brain because the only fat or energy of any kind left in your body is in the brain by then. (I have experienced these headaches because of a medical issue once where the antibiotics had a side effect of anorexia that wasn't mentioned in the drug info! I lost 30 lbs in one month and got down to 110 at 5'10"!!!! NOT COOL!!! I mean even the attention I got from guys was gross, because they were objectifying my dying body and they found it sexy! YUCKI would not wish those continuous migraine like headaches on my worst enemy, nor that type of attention! )

When you finally have to start eating again or die of starvation, your metabolism will stay low and you will pack on the pounds. It is much better to eat 12-1400 HEALTHY cals/day and lose the weight slowly so it will stay off. Boost your metabolism by eating healthy whole foods and working out for at least 15 min every day, but not more than 90 min total per day. If you cross those boundaries you are straying into anorexic territory, and that is just unacceptable. You are far to precious to loose!

Because you mention the depression and self harm on your profile page (both things I know intimately myself) I recommend that you ask a close brutally honest friend to monitor you so if you start to act anorexic you can nip it in the bud (actually at 400cal/day you are acting anorexic - tough love honey ) I have to be soo careful not to let my need for control lead me down that path, so I really get it! And talk to your counselor or support people about your desire to get fit and healthy, inside and out. If you don't have a support group because you recently moved to college or something, seek one out or start one! and lastly - daily exercise is better for most people than any anti-depressant. Those drugs are total crap for most of us, and harmful to boot. Work out and get those endorphins flowing for an all natural, all day feel good high.

Try the NIKE Training Club App if you have a smartphone! it's really awesome...and FREE. It's a personal trainer in your pocket

Just saw in your notes you binged and purged....NOT a healthy way to do anything! Yikes!!

nevermind

So you mean to say that you have already dropped your metabolism to an extreme starvation level, and now you are going to have to do a lot of work to fix it. I did that too. I had to try really hard to eat more. That is actually why I use MFP. (I do not want to be dead of a heart attack before my daughter graduates from middle school, or high school or gets married and has babies....) I couldn't really work out when I was eating so little, and I was losing all the sexy muscle tone it gives me and still getting fatter! I noticed that I was acting anorexic trying to lose the weight, and after a good long look in the mirror thinking about all those documentaries and scientific journals... I had to force myself to eat around 6-800 cal/day for a while and then a little more and a little more until I can now eat about 12-1400 most days. Now I have plenty of strength and energy to work out, am eating pretty well, and getting fit finally, after a year of working toward being able to.

But you need special emotional support too. One thing I have learned on my journey is that one can never really depend on anyone else. It's nice to have friends and all, but you never know what they're gonna do. So one day i realized that almost any dr I could go to sees me as $$$$ and wants to keep me crippled with drugs and stupid crap, instead of actually helping me get better, that most "friends" only stick around for the fun stuff or when you are helping them; I had to do it all on my own. It is the hardest thing i have ever done - making tiny choices like to go to bed at 10 and turn everything off, getting up early instead of being the night owl i want to be, like deciding to eat breakfast even if i don't want it, and to work out no matter what so I don't get too depressed to keep making good choices. Big choices like finally completely ejecting the abusive addicted ex husband from any aspect of my life whatsoever even if he is my girl's papa, and going it alone, not having family or friends support in that. Hard days like crying forever because i was soooo angry and sooo hurt and sooooo lonely and soooo overwhelmed by years and decades of pain going all the way back to the bullies in elementary school and the abusive dad.....trying sooo hard not to hurt myself so that the emotional pain will just stop., and failing over and over again... Knowing that everyone thinks I am being an attention hog or trying to control/manipulate them or whatever dumb judgement they have....

But it can get better if YOU set your mind to it.

I had to accept that I did not CAUSE the bad things that where done to me, that I cannot CONTROL them, and I cannot CHANGE them. I had to reset my trust meter, because my dad miscalibrated mine by being a jerk. I had to leave all the friends I now knew I couldn't trust and find new ones who I could trust. I also had to recognize that I was coping with the stresses I was experiencing poorly, and actively seek out better coping skills. It's been a journey, and it's not over yet...