Does anyone else have this problem?

misshpn
misshpn Posts: 70 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi guys.
I've been on my weightloss journey for almost 2 years, and I've lost a total of 35 kg so far - still have about 20-25 kg to go. During this time I've developed a really bad relationship to food, which I'm now dealing with. I was eating for about 1100-1200 kcal pr. day for 2-3 months, but now I'm back to eating 1600-1700 kcal pr. day(% workout). I really do love food, and I'm finally refinding this love, but now I have an even bigger problem - I can't manage to stay within my limit. I'm almost constantly over my net, and it's horrifying, because I really want, need, to lose the last weight.

One of the things I've noticed, is that I can't control myself, when I've accepted that I've hit a bad day. Like, if I've already used up almost all my kcals before dinner, I have this horrible habit of thinking, that I might as well go all in, since my day is already ruined. That way I end up being 400-700 kcal over my net, instead of just 200-300.. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, how do you control it? I know it's just about being strong and staying determined, but I'm really having a hard time right now.

Replies

  • lewandt
    lewandt Posts: 566 Member
    Tell yourself whatever you go over today you have to work off tomorrow. 200 calories is way easier to work off than 700
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    One of the things I've noticed, is that I can't control myself, when I've accepted that I've hit a bad day. Like, if I've already used up almost all my kcals before dinner, I have this horrible habit of thinking, that I might as well go all in, since my day is already ruined. That way I end up being 400-700 kcal over my net, instead of just 200-300.. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, how do you control it? I know it's just about being strong and staying determined, but I'm really having a hard time right now.

    Stop saying you can't control yourself. You can. And you are likely the only one that will.
  • Lives2Travel
    Lives2Travel Posts: 682 Member
    Been there, done that many, many, many times. In fact, I've been guilty of not just declaring the day a lost cause, but the month or even year. Yeah, my thought processes about weight have been pretty messed up.

    Since starting back with MFP 4 months ago, I've decided to stop that kind of thinking. I've had a couple days where I've had over my calorie limit, but have been able to stop myself before I got completely out of control and have been able to get right back with the program the next day. I wish I could tell what's been different this time, but I can't other than to say it has been different after years of failure.

    Just know you are not alone and keep on fighting!
  • meiyoumao
    meiyoumao Posts: 24 Member
    Try tracking calories weekly instead of just daily. That way 200 over today can easily be made up by the end of the week. 700 is mor difficult.
  • lysslax
    lysslax Posts: 64
    I second what meiyoumao said...I look at my net calories for the week. If I'm under for the week - it's a success. This allows me to have some splurge meals that balance with the days I am extra healthy/burn a lot of calories. However, at the same time, I have forced myself to have the mentality that every day is a new chance. Being healthy is something that is going to take work every single day. Each day on target is a small victory in my book. If today wasn't a success, make sure tomorrow is!

    23724452.png

    edited to add my ticker
  • janicelo1971
    janicelo1971 Posts: 823 Member
    I was doing the exact same thing...I NOW go by my weekly totay...my goal is 1300 net a day.one day I may have 1900, but in the end I go by the weekly numbers..makes it MUCH easier and I don't get that sense that I ruined the day or I might as well stuff my face so im already over on the numbers....works for me!
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    The following is what i say to myself


    Is one measly cookie/ cake worth being overweight for the next year?

    If you've already messed up a day , try to limit yourself. To maintenance calories. That. Means you will reach your goal one day leter. Thats reasonable. If you eat any more than that you will put on fat. If you eat 700 cals over maintenance you will put on 100 g of fat. And then need to burn it off again just to get where you are now
    So not worth it.
    Also try to get out of the kitchen, house, i often find big glass of water then go for a walk or do some squats/ push ups etc and its easier to say no.


    But also dont be too hard on youself. Life is a jouney, it has ups and downs, your weight is going in the right direction and thats what matters.
    Some days just suck ......
  • MrsBingley
    MrsBingley Posts: 145
    Once a week I set my cals to maintain. Then I eat them. I don't consider it cheating, but as part of the plan. Losing weight, especially if you have more than just a couple lbs, is a long slog. It helps to be able to take a breather. Having the high intake day really helps me stay on track.

    BTW, my ticker indicates 8 lbs down, but it is really 18 from what my top weight was on Sept. 1st.
  • MrsBingley
    MrsBingley Posts: 145
    Once a week I set my cals to maintain. Then I eat them. I don't consider it cheating, but as part of the plan. Losing weight, especially if you have more than just a couple lbs, is a long slog. It helps to be able to take a breather. Having the high intake day really helps me stay on track.

    BTW, my ticker indicates 8 lbs down, but it is really 18 from what my top weight was on Sept. 1st.

    ETA. In your photo, you look fabulous. That is what I'm aiming for at goal. I understand if you have a preference to be on the slim side of average, but you may want to consider NOT losing 22 kg. It seems a bit aggressive to me.
  • misshpn
    misshpn Posts: 70 Member
    Thank you for all your replies guys. I've read it all, and each of you have a good point. I think I'm gonna focus more on the weekly amount, and remember to just stop up and THINK about what I'm putting in my mouth. Often I don't need it - I'm not hungry. I just eat for the sake of eating(LOVE to eat though haha)! So thank you for all your answers - it's already made me more positive.

    @MrsBingley: Thank you sweety, but I do have a LOT of weight to lose before being at a healthy weight. I'm only 165cm, and I still weigh a lot, so I do have about 20-25 kg to go.
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
    Try tracking calories weekly instead of just daily. That way 200 over today can easily be made up by the end of the week. 700 is mor difficult.

    I agree with this, once again I'm gonna upload this image I show people who worry about daily calories. Think about the WEEK, not the day, your body doesn't 'lock' in the amount at midnight or anything, even though mfp gets you into a daily summary, get out of it. See in this pic, how going over one day doesn't necessarily mean the week is a write off.
    E9C63F9B-6CDB-4D3E-9586-909E7D000DDD-11822-00000C5109C525D6.jpg
  • p4ulmiller
    p4ulmiller Posts: 588 Member
    I think I'm gonna focus more on the weekly amount, and remember to just stop up and THINK about what I'm putting in my mouth.

    Well, OK, but only to a point. You don't want to be eating 7 days worth of calories in 5 days.

    A tip that has worked for me. When you think you are hungry, measure *how* hungry you are on a scale of 1-10. Anything less than a 6, and a glass of water will probably take the hunger away. 9s or 10s mean you can have a bite. In between, well, that's up to you and your willpower.

    Remember though, everything you do, you do by choice.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    something that i read many years ago:
    "the last bite of that food will taste the same as the first bite"

    this helps me sometimes to stop.

    IOW - have the cheese cake, but have a small (weighed) portion and log it. have a small 100 cal bag of snack, not a family size bag. if you live in the US i noticed on my last visit that you ahve all kinds of really cool options at 100 cals a bag - chips, cookies, etc. just grab *a* bag and enjoy it. you don't have to eat a value size bag in order to get the 'taste'.

    if you notice you eat out of boredom or habit - then do something else at that time. are you munching in front of the tv? then do something else to occupy your hands (mani, eyebrows, iron, sort through paperwork). or get off the couch and start exercsiing.
  • albertine58
    albertine58 Posts: 267 Member
    I track weekly too- I keep an excel spreadsheet that does lots of motivating math for me :) It also helps me to go back and see what worked for me weeks ago, and if I'm doing something differently now whether I'm losing more or less weight over time. It's also SO inspiring to see so many weeks of spreadsheet tracking- like wow, I can do this for a long period of time and be successful! I go OVER maintenance once a week usually, but I don't eat back my exercise cals so it evens out. Some days I "net" only 900 cals subtracting exercise, normally ~1200, but once a week is 2000+ so it all evens out to a good reasonable deficit for the week!
  • faradaysdream
    faradaysdream Posts: 91 Member

    One of the things I've noticed, is that I can't control myself, when I've accepted that I've hit a bad day. Like, if I've already used up almost all my kcals before dinner, I have this horrible habit of thinking, that I might as well go all in, since my day is already ruined. That way I end up being 400-700 kcal over my net, instead of just 200-300.. Does anyone else have this problem, and if so, how do you control it? I know it's just about being strong and staying determined, but I'm really having a hard time right now.

    Try to take your thinking to a place of love of yourself...instead of resignation:) We're so hard on ourselves sometimes.

    Accept that you ate a higher amount than you meant to (and don't be so hard on yourself about it). Let it go. Move on. Load up on veggies for your next meal...and make better choices from that point on.

    You've come so far. You look amazing :) This journey isn't about just today.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    this is my problem, and unless i sit with my thoughts and really feel my anger or sadness (shoot even excitement) I will binge. Just try to be patient, and dont ever let a trauma in your life put you back where you came from you've fought too long and hard to get to where you are now.

    Maybe this is the time you need to talk to someone, write it out, walk it out, cry it out. Find something other than the numbing effect of food.

    oops sorry didnt fully read your post. Either way congratulation on the hard work you should be proud.
  • courtneywiens
    courtneywiens Posts: 148 Member
    Yes, I absolutely have this problem. I have to remind myself that it's better to be 200 over than 800 over. And I force myself to log absolutely everything unless it's like a wedding or special occasion, and even then I only allow myself one non-logging day. Logging everything, even when I go over, is really important for me. You can get a lot of data from your food patterns and use it to learn what maybe triggered you to go over or how you stayed in a good range on days when you are under. Look back at your diary and familiarize yourself with your eating habits. And give yourself a break, you can't be perfect all the time! :)
  • flumi_f
    flumi_f Posts: 1,888 Member
    It helps me if I plan my food for the day ahead of time. Then I can see what my meals use calorie wise and how much is leftover for snacks or sweets. Always a little bit of room for something yummy, so I don't have that feeling of restriction. I also eat alot of veggies and lean proteins. I don't avoid, but have reduced simple carbs and my sodium intake is normally quite low too. I rarely feel like, I didn't get to eat enough on any given day.
  • EllaRenich
    EllaRenich Posts: 2 Member
    here's what I would suggest. maybe you have already tried this, maybe not. But, as you said, you love food. so, as much as you raid the kitchen now, slowly decrease the amount of times you do that over the course of say, two weeks. That will get rid of the problem of eating too much. there is another way you can do this. You can still eat the foods you are eating, just exercise harder and longer, but don't overdo it. If you have a bad day, think about it, is eating more food and throwing out your diet really going to make it better? and besides, then all the work that you did over the past week or so is gone and you have to start all over again. from what i gathered, you don't want to stay in the same spot. so try these suggestions, if you want. i hope they helped.
  • Naener
    Naener Posts: 167 Member
    I have a serious guilt issue with days i go over also, my family goes out to eat together every wednesday night, and none of them are health conscious... sometimes i dont WANT to just eat half my food...

    but.. try this.. on days where you know youre going to eat out and the food will be awesome, hard to say no to... eat a healthy snack close to dnner time.
    going out to eat HUNGRY... esp when you dont have many calories left for the day is MFP suicide lol.
    its like going to the grocery store hungry.. bad bad idea.

    be proactive!!! you CAN control yourself... you can do lots of things before the pressure is on to help youself make better choices.

    Also... my bestie used to do this... when she was done eating, she would pour some water from her water glass on whatever food was left on the plates to keep herself from picking at it. it helps!
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Whenever I feel myself slipping toward the whole "I already ate over my calories, might as well call this day a tosser and just binge" mentality, I remind myself of what a silly mindset that is. If I drop a dish and break it, am I then going to pull every other dish out of the cupboard and smash it? If I have a bad hair day, am I going to get the scissors and cut it all off? No. That thinking is childish and self-defeating. You have to accept that no one is perfect and not compound the damage.

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