Mad at myself...need to vent.

itsCheek
itsCheek Posts: 104
in Motivation and Support
I did SO good the first 6 months of this year. I started with a Paleo diet and not much exercise, just yoga (25 pounds fell off quick!), then I started juicing and became a vegan and got into running. By the end of May I had lost almost 40 pounds and went from not even being able to run 1/2 a mile to running my first 5k in under 30 minutes with hills.

Then, I got a huge leg tattoo (couldn't walk for awhile, but I will be on next season of Best Ink!!), crashed my motorcycle and agitated an already existing knee injury from a previous crash, and started (binge) drinking on the weekends again. My lowest weight was 162, and now I've quickly jumped back up to 175 since July/August. I stopped tracking on MFP, ate more carbs than I could count, and slacked on exercise. I'm back on the wagon and training for my first 10k in January at Disneyland (surprisingly, my mile times have improved despite the weight gain).

I'm just disappointed in myself that I worked so damn hard to lose the weight that I did...I was 22 lbs. from my goal weight (I'm 5'8" and my GW is 140). Now I'm staring down 35 pounds. When my scale dropped below 170 months back I was so elated, and my next goal was for it to drop below 160, but I never made it that far.

For the last few weeks I've been tracking again and aiming for 1,200-1,400 cal/day and have been running 3-6 miles 4 days a week, along with other strength training-type videos from YouTube and dance games on Xbox Kinect. This last weekend though I drank way too much and ate a bunch of unhealthy junky crap and gained 3 lbs!!!

Anyway, I know it's normal to get off track, but I really don't have any excuse for it other than being lazy and weak. I just needed to vent and get it out there. I WILL meet my goal of 140, I just have to get my mindset back in the right place. Does this happen to anyone else?

Replies

  • itsCheek
    itsCheek Posts: 104
    Also, I quit smoking 2.5 months ago and immediately gained 7 pounds!
  • mikeykhan2003
    mikeykhan2003 Posts: 177
    Happens to everyone - good vent, now it's simply time to get back to work :)

    Good luck!
  • nashbear
    nashbear Posts: 131 Member
    Yes, everyone runs into these issues. Forgive yourself and get back at it.
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    I have been in that place several times. I then changed MY THINKING on my life changing journey and that is why my success is much better this time around.

    The good thing is you recognized what caused you to fall. You are back on the saddle now. Keep riding and do not look behind you except to identify any negative triggers you see in the future to curtail it.

    I wish you the best and keep us posted on how you are making out.

    Cheers
  • maybellinerq
    maybellinerq Posts: 9
    My problem has been drinking. Sometimes i dread the weekends because i do enjoy drinking and having fun with my friends but i Know i have to slow down on it.
  • irisheyez718
    irisheyez718 Posts: 677 Member
    It does. My appendix burst last October, and then I got an incision hernia and had that repaired in June. Both times when I was recovering, I got lazy about watching what I ate, and just ate whatever the heck I wanted. I got back to the gym about a month ago now I guess, but I'm about 12 pounds up from my lowest weight since using MFP. It's frustrating but just get back to work, beating yourself up about it won't help.
  • floridared
    floridared Posts: 52 Member
    on't beat yourself up. Get back on the train and ride it out. One day at a time and set small goals. :-)
  • archoo_letsdothis
    archoo_letsdothis Posts: 90 Member
    Good luck! You can do this!
  • bugtaylor
    bugtaylor Posts: 77 Member
    THE RACE DOESN'T GO TO THE SWIFT NOR THE STRONG BUT THE ONE WHO ENDURES
  • itsCheek
    itsCheek Posts: 104
    THE RACE DOESN'T GO TO THE SWIFT NOR THE STRONG BUT THE ONE WHO ENDURES

    Thanks everyone! I really love this quote. I am going to put it as the screensaver on my phone.

    Also, my diary is public now...y'all can keep me accountable!! :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    If you can be an example as a success story - you can be a good example as a comeback story

    :flowerforyou:
  • friggie
    friggie Posts: 140 Member
    THE RACE DOESN'T GO TO THE SWIFT NOR THE STRONG BUT THE ONE WHO ENDURES

    I love that saying!!!
    Do you mind if I save it and share it with my daughter??
  • TribeHokie
    TribeHokie Posts: 711 Member
    My problem has been drinking. Sometimes i dread the weekends because i do enjoy drinking and having fun with my friends but i Know i have to slow down on it.

    Me as well. I did a good job during the summer of cutting way back, but the past couple months I have not been as diligent and I've stalled out. I don't think there really is a set answer. Just start stringing together "good" days and eventually decide you're "back on track". That's my plan anyway.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
    it's okay, it happens to many of us! the important thing is that you're back and trying again!
    The first time I tried MFP, I was 165 and I got down to about 152 maybe (after about 3 months or so) and then I quit using mfp and gained all the weight I lost and an additional 20 on top of that!

    Started this time at 185 November 2011 (almost 2 years ago!) and I'm down to 119 now! I'm basically at my goal weight, just haven't achieved my ideal body yet!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    You are far too tall, with your level of activity, to be eating only 1,200-1,400 calories. Figure out your TDEE and eat -%20 than that.
  • luckyshilling
    luckyshilling Posts: 229
    You know how to fix it and you can totally do it.

    I feel you on the boozy weekends, girl they get me too:wink:
  • itsCheek
    itsCheek Posts: 104
    I made an iPhone 5 wallpaper.... :blushing:

    2cgzo60.jpg
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I'm 5'9" and eat 2000 calories a day.

    Do you think you'd be able to stick with a diet if you allowed yourself more food? For me, long term adherence is the number one most important factor. When I go "off" my diet I generally just maintain because it's not much different from when I'm "on".
  • itsCheek
    itsCheek Posts: 104
    I'm 5'9" and eat 2000 calories a day.

    Do you think you'd be able to stick with a diet if you allowed yourself more food? For me, long term adherence is the number one most important factor. When I go "off" my diet I generally just maintain because it's not much different from when I'm "on".

    I've noticed that it seems if I eat anything over 1,600 calories a day for a few days, it shows up on the scale. :ohwell: My metabolism must be outta whack.
  • dcglobalgirl
    dcglobalgirl Posts: 207 Member
    I'm in almost the exact same boat, except 5'5" so a lot heavier. I lost 25 lbs in the spring and then went back to the States for the summer and just let myself eat lots of fun stuff (I didn't even have a tattoo, motorcycle accident, etc. to blame it on.) Anyway, I gained about 10 back (my lowest was 175 and I'm at 185)

    Now, I'm trying to come back and I've been struggling just to log consistently for two days. I keep doing the "oh, I goofed up, I'll start tomorrow" thing.

    I'm so annoyed at myself for not keeping it up.

    But I can start today or I can keep sliding down and the last thing I want to do is get back up to 200!

    We can do this!!! Just need to keep doing it!
  • GettingMooreInShape
    GettingMooreInShape Posts: 80 Member
    Time to start fresh!

    In a month from now, you'll be so glad you started today. And in a year from now? You'll be achieving fitness and weight goals you never thought possible. The important thing is to not put it off any longer.. You have to start TODAY.

    Good luck! You've done it before, you can do it again. :)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I'm 5'9" and eat 2000 calories a day.

    Do you think you'd be able to stick with a diet if you allowed yourself more food? For me, long term adherence is the number one most important factor. When I go "off" my diet I generally just maintain because it's not much different from when I'm "on".

    I've noticed that it seems if I eat anything over 1,600 calories a day for a few days, it shows up on the scale. :ohwell: My metabolism must be outta whack.

    Probably just water/glycogen weight(like the 3lbs you claim to have gained in one bad weekend).
  • Blueshoozies
    Blueshoozies Posts: 3
    I was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high bad cholesterol. I can live without sweets just fine, don't care about alcohol, and miss - but don't obsess over red meat ... but I dream of giant bags of Lays potato chips. Lovely, salty, crispy Lays potato chips. I'm already tinkering with the MFP food tracker to see how I can get a fix in. :(
  • Kestrel45
    Kestrel45 Posts: 133
    I feel ya so hard! I so understand what you're going through, as I myself am in one of those downfalls. But I know everytime this happens I will just get right back up and pursue this commitment to myself. And I know you can too.
    I always thought that I fell harder off the wagon than everybody else trying to lose weight, but I realize now that EVERYONE goes through this. And as bad as you think it is for you personally, just think about how much you've accomplished that you probably never thought you could ever accomplish. It's amazing, and even though I don't know you, I can feel from your words that you'll do it and reach your goals.

    Hop back on the wagon, girl! You can do it :)

    Hope this helps xx
  • Rochester_mom
    Rochester_mom Posts: 100 Member
    I have totally been there. It really just one day at a time. Currently, I am mentally beating myself up for not working out AGAIN. But, I DID log my food today. You are definitely not alone. I have a hard time keeping motivation for working out. A friend once told me to just lace up my sneakers and the rest will follow. I swear there are days where I think okay, I am just going to put my sneakers on and I somehow manage to get myself to the gym. I think what I mean to sy is that it is the small things and the endurance (that someone mentioned above) that gets us through these tough times. Good luck!
  • itsCheek
    itsCheek Posts: 104
    UPDATE:
    Well, it's been two weeks of counting calories and exercising and yet again, my scale spiked after this weekend (it had been stuck at 173.9 all week and this morning, 178.7). I'm replacing the GD batteries on the scale today because I need SOME sort of excuse why this is happening!! :noway:

    The only thing I can think of for the lack of weight loss is
    1.) I'm eating too many carbs OR
    2.) I'm in starvation mode

    I'm really confused by all of this. Earlier this year when I was loosing weight, it was so much easier! I guess it's time to start juicing juicing JUICING, and eating broccoli for dinner! I know 2-weeks isn't a lot, but usually that is when I see the greatest results (when I first start back on a diet).

    On the bright side, I ran a 5K race on Friday night at 29:02! I'm posting a new topic with my review, pics and vids. Will edit this post with a link later.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Don't pay attention to spikes. Could be water retention, glycogen, undigested food, etc.

Categories