How to cope when others aren't on a weight loss journey?

In your situation, I would cook my own meals and give him the option of eating what I cook or doing his own thing.

It sounds like he has some emotional issues about your weight loss beyond "why won't you support my love of food," though. You're both going to have to deal with those eventually.

Glad you discovered the root of the problem was the importance of food as a career for him and he took your comments as an insult to his career or something he identifies with strongly and not just he doesn't 't want to support your weight loss which sounds like an easier issue to compromise over. But also don't forget to remind him that even though your weight loss journey may feel like forever, you're just eating this meal for today and you're just looking at today. Keep telling yourself that. Don't worry about the just for today being 60 more days or 600 more days, but it's just today. That's what helps me more than anything else. I know there will be special occasions and vacations. And I know there will be bites here and there; but portion control and overall balance and slow and steady are what I'm trying to focus on for today
Good luck! It sounds like you're both on your way!

Oh that is tough! Maybe one idea is to do a healthy cooking course together ?
also healthy food can be absolutely delicious, have a play with recipees, taste.com has lots of ideas and recipee types to choose from. My friend who is a nutritionist is a total foodie, and makes such yummy meals! Nutritionists tend to know lots of tricks to make yummy healthy food. Also when you reduce sugar, salt and fat it does take time for taste to adjust but it does happen, best of luck :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

My goodness there are a lot of judgmental people on this board. I should be surprised at all the "your boyfriend is selfish" comments but...well...this is MFP. And what the heck is a "feeder"? Calm down everyone.

Her boyfriend is a foodie who loves to cook. They met when he was this way and the OP admits that she was really into it at one point (up until recently). Calling this poor guy selfish and insecure is just ridiculous. Relationships constantly challenge us to grow and change and these things don't happen overnight. Give the guy a break.

Oh look, someone saying really judgmental things...while reprimanding others for being "too judgmental!" That's both judgmental and hypocritical.

In your situation, I would cook my own meals and give him the option of eating what I cook or doing his own thing.

It sounds like he has some emotional issues about your weight loss beyond "why won't you support my love of food," though. You're both going to have to deal with those eventually.

Since you opened the door, let's take what you wrote here. He's "having emotional issues about your weight loss." Really? Do you know him? Have you talked to him about this? That's an enormous leap to make from the OPs first and especially the OPs second post.

Maybe the guy just likes to cook dinner because it's fun and that's what they used to do together as a couple. Which is EXACTLY what the OP said in her final post.

There can be a happy medium. My husband is a wonderful cook and his meals are fairly high cal. He also doesn't measure and cooks by taste.
He was very supportive of my weight loss journey. However, he wasn't on a weight loss journey and it wouldn't be fair or right to always eat low cal because of me. I have to make my own way, while taking him into consideration. It's only fair. Both of us have to be happy.
We kind of compromised in that he usually cooks on the weekends and he continued to do so. I ate his meals but smaller portions and added some extra veggies or a salad, which I prepared. On MFP, because I was unsure of the calories in his food, I found the dish in the database and added some "quick add" calories (usually 100). I figured that this was a good estimation and wouldn't hold up my weight loss (and it didn't).
On nights when I cooked, I tried recipes that were healthier and that I thought we'd both like. If I was cooking something I knew he wasn't keen on, his portion would be changed to suit his likes. We'd still eat the same meal, just slightly differently prepared. For example, he likes his fish fried, so when we had fish, I baked my portion and his would be breaded & fried. It's a big difference in prep time and both of us were happy.

You can find a compromise. This is your journey and you can make it happen. It's easy to get focussed on those numbers and we need to be. Realize, though, that for every 1 lb/week loss, you're eating 500 calories/day less than you need. So one (or two) days a week where you are only 300-400 calories/day less will not mean a weight gain. You can exercise those calories away.

Hang in there. You can do it.

Just my two cents, I love to cook, also, and it's mainly a way of showing affection. So when you rejected all his recipes, he probably felt you were rejecting him/his love/whatever. Obviously untrue, but it can still feel that way sometimes. My suggestion would be to suggest healthier meals by bringing him specific recipes, including things similar to what he already cooks, but lighter. After suggesting these things in a nice and civil manner (not fighting? i guess), tell him that when he cooks something higher calorie or something unhealthy, that you'll only eat a small portion and maybe supplement the rest of your dinner with salad/soup/healthy food.
If my boyfriend didn't want to eat something I made for dinner, I'd just want him to try a little portion and be appreciative I cooked for him. because like I said, cooking is a way of showing affection for some people, and your boyfriend sounds like one of them.