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lessofme43
lessofme43 Posts: 139 Member
in Motivation and Support
I do a lot of walking outdoors, and I've gotten some attention from some neighbors who want to walk, but need the motivation of a walking partner, so sort reluctantly I've agreed to try it - once in awhile. First one friend, then another noticed and wants in, too. But I LOVE walking by myself, I don't need the spurring-on of a cohort to get it done, so I feel like I'm giving up something that I love to help someone get their exercise done. Yes, I want to be an encouragement to those who want to start living healthier, but I'm struggling with how do I do that and still keep my plan intact? - without losing friendships along the way? I'm posting on this board because while I don't really rely on support from others to 'get it done', I know that many people do - what is those people's perspective on this?

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  • bethanytowell
    bethanytowell Posts: 256 Member
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    Let them know politely that it is your me time. just they way you posted here. let them know that you may be up for a weekend walk but you need your regular scheduled fitness time to yourself to regroup. they will understand. i am the same way.
  • klm888
    klm888 Posts: 15
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    I completely understand, I prefer "solitary" walks/workouts, etc. I also had friends, family wanting to buddy up and I simply let them know that this is the only time of day I have to myself to "reboot". It is very important that I take this time to review my day, my progress and plan for the next day. Most of my family/friends completely understood, those that did not, too bad. I have a very busy life and if I want to take care of me, I just need to be a little bit selfish with this aspect of my life. Good luck to you.
  • Firemansam79
    Firemansam79 Posts: 416 Member
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    Say, hey. I have enjoyed your company, but It's much more enjoyable to walk by myself. You two could still keep on walking together. Perhaps I may even join you from time to time. Keep up the good work!
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    Well since I assume you don't want to tell them to bug off maybe try playing matchmaker instead; "I can't go out then (or some other nice excuse) but hey my friend so and so is looking for a walking buddy too, maybe yall should hang out!" Or just get them all together for a walk one day and see if they make friends and go along in their own pairs in the future. Just some possible ideas.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
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    When I started my diet back in March I sent out an email to a few coworkers and invited them to start walking with me on my lunch hour. Only one responded. As it turned out her stamina was much lower than mine so the walk was cut short and she never came on another walk with me again. I walk so fast now to keep my heart rate up so I would hate for anyone to join me at this time. And besides, I do a lot of problem solving on my walks so having to maintain a conversation would be so intrusive.

    Could you add a walking time to your routine so you have one walk that is just for you and the other one with friends?
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    If there are 2 or more, at least they could walk together without you. I would feel worse if it was only one person who would not go out alone. Feel proud that you inspiring others.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    You already said it's fine to do "once in a while" so just stick to your guns. Maybe come up with a schedule where 1 or 2 days a week you'll walk with them and the rest of the week you can walk on your own. No need to lie or make up dumb excuses, just be honest and tell them what you told us. You like your alone time, it gives you a chance to unwind, think about stuff, etc.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Oh that would totally suck. I love walks because it's my alone time. I'd hate to have to have a walking buddy. Maybe schedule it for once a week or something, and do it alone the rest of the time?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Plan a walk on the weekends when people can come- say I'm doing a group walk on Sunday morning at 7 AM.

    Who comes- comes- and who doesn't doesn't.

    And say my weekly walks for me- i need to organize my thoughts and my plans for the week. I don't think it's really a big leap.
    I would just make availability for people who walk to walk as a group- if you like it.
  • JayMri
    JayMri Posts: 241 Member
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    I love to walk by myself, just me and my dogs. A few years back I did have a great walking partner. She's a good friend and was a neighbor and we walked at lunch everyday, but then they moved a few towns away. Now I prefer to walk alone. I have another neighbor that always wants to walk with me, and if I invite her once she wants to every day. While I would rather not. We only recently got a second dog so my husband does join me once or twice a week which is nice, it can get stressful walking two dogs. But still I enjoy my quiet walks. I would recommend what others have said, set aside one day to walk with them and let them know the other days are your "me time".
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Plus I don't know how it is where you live, but here you really don't have room for two people next to each other on the sidewalk. It's very annoying!
  • lessofme43
    lessofme43 Posts: 139 Member
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    thanks for the imput! I've decided to give it a chance before I write it off as a sacrifice I'm not willing to make. I hope there can be a healthy balance of walking with company and having my alone time. Truth be told, the 2 times I've walked with company this week, I did walk for 45 minutes as opposed to my regular 30-35, so maybe it will be a win-win ;)
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
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    Because I work in a VERY people intense environment ( college computer lab) I am often "peopled out" by the time I get home.. I even tell the cats to not purr until later LOL... seriously though.. I have the "first hour" rule at my house ( this include neighbors, friends and family).. basically the first hour I get home is mine... its when I do my workouts, go out for my runs etc... just me and the dog and my music....this way I get a chance to wind down, regroup, become social again and get my workout in...if you feel you need to compromise set a schedule with your "walking buddies" and the rest of the time is yours.. alone.
  • Youcandothiswoman
    Youcandothiswoman Posts: 3
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    I do like walking better myself too-That way I can do the pace I want !
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Do your alone walk, then another with a friend. Many days I run then walk with a neighbor.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
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    I Love walking alone. couldn't walk with anyone else. I need my music that's why.
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 353 Member
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    On the weekends I go out about 6 or 6:30 in the morning. None of my family wants to go with me then. It's a win/win. Teenagers get to sleep later, I get some solitary time with my music and my own thoughts.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Break it into two walks if you are worried about how your friends will feel. You can do a short one with them, and then do your solitary one alone. I know that may take more time, but it would preserve your you time, and still help you keep these others motivated.

    Otherwise, you may just have to say, "Sorry, it's been good, but for the sake of my mental health, I need to have some me time, and this is when I have it. Let's do something else together at another time."

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