Trying not to quit - gym rant

groucherella · October 2010

I'm so frustrated and annoyed at the behaviour some people display at the gym. My first bad experience was a chick that hatefully yelled at me "Oh, NO, girl in the blue, that's MY spot you're in. You have to move. NOOOO. That's my security spot." I was dumbfounded and stunned. Everyone turned and stared while I packed up my mat, weights, and ball and moved to another spot. I know regulars have their spots, but maybe they should A. get to class on time or B. not create a scene and remember what it felt like when they first came to class. I'm sure they didn't survey all the people in the class and ask them where she could stand.

Then tonight, I went to a zumba class. I've been a few times. Tonight a entire crowd of people showed up late and one of them squeezed between me and someone else. Not once but twice did she come too close to comfort to hitting me in my face. I stopped and turned to face her and she rolled her eyes and says "Well, gee, I'm sorry" and proceeds to move over to where I have NO moving room. So, I just left.

Not sure how to handle this. It takes alot of courage for me to go to a gym period and participate in a class. I don't want to complain to the instructor, but maybe she could remind everyone of some sort of ettiquette or manners before class? I just don't know what to do. But I'm seriously thinking of not going back and I know that's a very bad choice for me. I'm 33 and I'm trying to get to a point where I no longer need cholesterol or blood pressure medicine.

gatedialer · October 2010

That is specifically why I do not go to gyms. I workout at home. Whenever I do go to gyms, I do my own thing. If I am in someone's spot, too freaking bad, they should have been to the class earlier. My size does not deter me from standing my ground. You just tell them "hey, there is no particular spot that belongs to anyone. If you wanted this spot, you should have arrived to this class earlier. I'm here now and this is where I will be working out." If that is too forward for you then just ask the instructor to remind the class of promptness and courtesy of others.

celeste2u · October 2010

I am not exactly sure what you should do. Personally, I would roll my eyes back at her, but that's me and not you.

I just want to encourage you to continue to go. It will get better, and remind yourself that you need this. I, too, am trying to get off blood pressure pills. Exercise and diet are the only way to get where you want to be.

I sincerely hope that the classes get better, and that you enjoy them. Good luck!

Bellydance · October 2010

"Life is only 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it " I love this quote you posted. We should all live it better eh?

Sorry people are so dumb. You are there for you and ~insert cuss word here~ them.

Are you bigger than her? Push her out of the way yourself. LOL..........Get in their way, don't get in your own way.
I totally know how you feel as I have had the same things happen to me and it's very disheartening. If your schedule allows, try to go to a different class; if not, see above. If that's not in your personality to do that, then find what is. But don't let them win by quitting!. Get mad and get fit. Forgive them and move on, literally. Find what works. Don't give up; don't quit........and when this girl I thot was my friend tells me how much of an issue I have about my weight, I will not give up either, I will not quit, and I will not allow people to treat me as if I'm less than them, and maybe someday I will literally be less than them! HA!

All the best! BDance

cindymccauley · October 2010

WOW! So sorry to hear that you have to put up with people like that. You would think that since we're all there for the same reason, there would be more support! It sounds like you may have to adjust to the rudeness of those around you. DON'T give up the gym -- it really can help you reach your goals. I don't think it's a bad idea to speak privately to the instructor as most of the instructors I have met are receptive to suggestions such as this. Good luck & keep up the good work!

vmancini88 · October 2010

If I were you, I definitely wouldn't give up, sometimes there are just going to be bad days, or maybe even bad weeks. The important thing is being able to talk about it later and just let it go - come here or talk to a close family member or friend. But for next time if I would just be firm, assertive and polite. I would have told that girl that yelled at you "Sorry, there are plenty of other places for you." It's ridiculous that she thinks she can claim a spot. Don't let other people's ignorance prevent you from doing something that's great for you. Maybe if she had asked nicely, that would be a completely different story.

You could speak to the Zumba instructor about the capacity of the class maybe... Was it so full that people were really on top of eachother? They should really have a maximum amount of people that are allowed in the space if it's that crowded. First come first served. I would have just turned to that woman and said, " I don't mean to be rude but your a little to close to me. Can you please move over?" Most of the time people respond well if you are respectful - sometimes they are just competely oblivious to how they are acting.

I hope I was able to help. But most importantly don't let those things throw you off. Take them as learning experiences. Your doing a great thing for yourself and should be proud of that.

sillygoose1977 · October 2010

Oh my gosh! I would DARE someone to try and say that to me. :noway: Unfortunately, the gym is just like anywhere else and people are rude everywhere. It sucks but so do some people. Stand up for yourself and don't let it get you down.

Blushing_prin_cess · October 2010

Looks like your going to have be just as brazen as those girls are. Remember that at one they were new but they get you out of where you are because they speak up. Unfortunately we as conciderate people dont speak up when we should we walk away. Were there for a purpose and if it means enough to us then we are going to speak up. I am the same as you are. But at 39 I am finally starting to get braver. At the gym there is no reserved spots. They pay the same as we do. If she is late then she loses out. There will be days you are late and you wont expect them to jump or move for you, right? And highly unlikely she owns the place so where does she rate any higher that you? Yes Im ranting too because I hate when people act like that too.
Get a little bossy back its what we have to do to keep our place so we need to do it!!

Lisa Marie
Keep moving you can do it!!!

cef957 · October 2010

I think these are valid concerns and you should complain to the management....maybe they can intercede and remind people about gym etiquette

groucherella · October 2010

Thank you guys. I feel bad for leaving, but I literally was rubbing up against a wall to avoid her rubbing on me, lol! I'll keep going and try to find something else to enjoy at the gym. I really wanted to get into Zumba though because so many people rave about it and tell me "it doesn't feel like exercise". Of course I was interested then! I'll brush it off and move on. Thanks for letting me growl and moan!

paddlemom · October 2010

Hey SB....don't quit!! Hang in there and remember you have paid your$$ and you have a right to be there! I hear what you are saying though. I can so easily get derailed because I spend too much time "owning" the other guy's problem.

I don't know about you, but assertiveness is my issue. It's really easy for these kind of folks to make me feel bad. They are the ones being rediculous. Maybe you can try my new philosphy. I'm using incidents like this to practice my assertion and learning to feel better about myself, while putting the problem back in the hands of their owners. It's hard to do when you start, but as you practice you will be more confident. I'd just really smile and be nice and say " Thanks for letting me know, I'll try and remember that next time.Maybe today you can try and new spot and see how that works for you" or I'm sure you don't want me to hit you by accident while I'm dancing, perhaps you'd like to move over a few feet".

I know it's really hard, but when you are super pleasant, they are the ones that look like a jerk if they get all bent out of shape over it and you learn that it's not your job to make them feel good! The bonus is that you go home feeling a little stronger yourself for standing up to the moment!

Suedre · October 2010

I do NOT agree with their behavoir one bit; however, I understand the spot thing. People do have their 'spots'. I have my 'spot' and will get there 10 minutes early to make sure I get it. Now if it happens someone got my spot, I wouldnt treat them like crap, I'd just pick another spot and deal. If she's late, it aint her spot.

It's hard to be the newbie. I've been going to step for months now and still fell 'new' when i get all turned around and confused. I just dont care what they think about it. Just keep going and eventally you will be part of the class rather than on the outside. I promise, it really does happen. I love group classes now and couldnt imagine my journey without them!

AmberBarrios · October 2010

Wow so sorry that happened. Me personally I can't stand pushy people that have no manners. Here is how I would have handled it, just for kicks and giggles.

Girl at Gym: I would have picked up my mat and got down on my hands and knees like I was looking for a lost contact and looked up at her and said "OH I found it there it is it say B!@#$ in the purple right there!!! My bad!" then walked away. LOL

Zumba floor hogger: She would have met my elbow and hard!!! LOL

I know I have anger and violence issues but come on you know you would laugh. :laugh:

Okay maybe not but it would make me feel better even though it would not be the best reaction to the situation.

groucherella · October 2010

LOL! That is funny! I will give it another shot and be just as up in her space as she was mine. It's weird to say this out loud, but I'm afraid to be assertive or forward b/c they all seem to know each other and I'd look like the rude one.

sissy56 · October 2010

I love Amber's solution. I've been in gym classes for 10 years and have experienced the late crowd squeeze also, especially at Zumba and it's really annoying. About a month ago, a man came in late and put his bag next to the wall at least three feet from a "this is my spot" type. She immediately complained to him and to the instructor, loudly. Then she said "I kick you" and spun a perfect roundhouse about 6 inches from his head. Did I mention she's about 4'11" 90 pounds and at least 55? I wouldn't recommend you handle your crowders, but it made for an interesting class.

hewhoiscd · October 2010

People are rude because they have figured out that when they are rude and in your face, that they get what they want. Every time they are rude and get what they want, their rude behavior is reinforced, making it all the more likely that they will be rude again in the future. When you stand up to them, politely, and refuse to be intimidated, you are really doing them a favor. In the long run, their rude behavior will make life less enjoyable for them and others around them. By doing your part in refusing to reinforce the rudeness, you are helping to improve their lives and the lives of their family/loved ones by making it more likely they will not be so quick to be rude in the future.

Or, the short version....I refuse to reward rudeness

carrie145 · October 2010

Sadly we live in a world where people think they should get what they want when they want it. I can't stand people like that.
I have noticed people at my gym with no manners. The rules are posted everywhere, yet people continue to shout across the gym at each other, and my biggest pet peave..sit on the equipment and chit chat while other people wait to use the machines.

As for your problem, I'm sure those chicks do not pay extra membership fees to have their own personal space. Stand your ground girl!! You have just as much right to be there as they do!! If you let them push you out once, they will continue to do it.

Pixiemel · October 2010

Girl you got this. You've got some sound advice from all these great folks on here telling you not to give up, and not to stoop to her level by being rude or violent back. I can't practice what I preach on this one b/c I'd totally drop kick her *kitten* for getting in my personal space but each to his own! Show up with a smile and keep trucking. If you give up on the gym you'll feel worse for the wear over that decision and it may hinder your progress!

Trying not to quit - gym rant

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