Relationship help? No, I'm not asking for romance help

nutech
nutech Posts: 11
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
My boyfriend and I both are unhappy with the way we look. However, he has no interest in doing anything about it. He's always been a bigger guy (just the way he is) but I'm more concerned about his health, not his looks. I love him just the way he is. I just want him to live a long healthy life! I am trying to make more healthy meals at home that he will eat but I can't seem to get him away from the soda and spagetti-o's. He has no interest in exercise either, at least not involving the gym. I'm not sure what to do because I want us both to be healthy and feel good. Any ideas?

Replies

  • BexC
    BexC Posts: 53
    Who does the food shopping in the house? Try and not buy anything like that in so makes it an effort to get.
    Have you introduced him to here at all? Maybe show him how much weight people have lost on the success board? x
  • tierra85
    tierra85 Posts: 300 Member
    Maybe him seeing you loosing weight and becoming more active and healthy will make him want to do it too?
  • nutech
    nutech Posts: 11
    I really hope so!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    try to plan things together , like going on hikes and picnics that include walking. Maybe start playing tennis together, sign up for a dance class, go bike riding together, in my downtown area you can rent quadracycles that you pedal around while sitting on a bench looking at the sights (maybe find something like this). My point is try to be more active and involve him , you dont have to go to a gym. Also keep making healthy meals and dont buy junk. If he wants any junk he will have to go to the store and buy it, which will make it not as convenient. I have been cooking healthier, buying healthier snacks and having my husband walk with me and he has lost 10lbs in the 3 months that I have been doing this. Good luck
  • braggsaw
    braggsaw Posts: 6 Member
    Take him along to the doctor for a blood test and then when he gets the results he might get a little scared in to adopting a new healthy lifestyle. That is what happened to me


    2185513.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
  • nowic
    nowic Posts: 171 Member
    My husband is alot like your man. He wanted nothing to do with eating better. It made it very hard for me this last couple weeks. Sometimes I felt like I was making 2 meals. His and my healthier version. It was a struggle! But now he has seen me stick with it and so he is coming around. He now is trying the new meals and says whatever I make is ok with him. :happy: yay! Its a small victory, but I'll take it! He has also started walking to work rather then driving.
    So I would say, do what you need to do for you, but dont force him. He will come around when he's ready. When he see's you doing it- it will inspire him. :bigsmile:
  • YourFriendBecky
    YourFriendBecky Posts: 229
    Truthfully, it's best not to try and "help" him... he's a grown man, and having had a boyfriend that used to always try to "help" me, I can tell you that all he accomplished was making me feel patronized and resentful and like a disappointment to him... which actually led to me gaining more weight.

    The best thing that you can do is to focus on you, and let him know that whatever he wants to do is just fine. Only he can decide that the time is right. Maybe if he sees you eating tasty healthy food, or if he sees that you seem a lot more relaxed after going for a walk, it may have an impact. Or it may not. And either way, just keep loving him.
  • poodlepaws
    poodlepaws Posts: 269 Member
    You can't make him do something he's not interested in.
    My best advice is to do what you can to improve your health and hopefully he'll join you.
    Good luck:)
  • klwong
    klwong Posts: 1
    So true, it's best not to force anything on your boyfriend but try to encourage him to go along with it bit by bit (i.e. lead by example). Men will change when they want to :smile: . Also themommie have really good ideas, try going on walks together or any outdoor activities which can involve the both of you as you get to spend good quality time together and exercise at the same time. killing 2 birds with one stone :bigsmile: .

    I just joined this site a week and a half ago and I must say it is a fantastic tool. I have manage to meet my goal of loosing 1kg/2lb a week by tracking my weekly exercise and calorie intake.
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    +1 @poodlepaws

    We (men) rarely do as we're told (nagging) but do respond well to flattery. If he ever does -anything- good like break into a run or lift something or eat well, tell him how good he looks and he might, just might want to do it again!
  • anu_6986
    anu_6986 Posts: 702 Member
    I agree with ICanMakeMeThin.... Just do what you have to do. But share every success with him, like if you pulled finishing a day's exercise which was difficult or You drop a pound share it with him.

    As someone said you can plan picnics and other stuff. But at the end of the day he has to come around and start taking care of himself. You can't push him into doing it. I have a boyfriend who is overweight too, he is fine with whatever I cook but doesn't exercise much. He is slowly finding stuff he likes like football matches with colleagues, kick boxing class etc.

    Probably your success will trigger that health bug in him too! Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • nubreeze33
    nubreeze33 Posts: 270
    Maybe him seeing you loosing weight and becoming more active and healthy will make him want to do it too?

    I agree with this post! Sweety you can only change YOU! You can inspire and be an excellent example of what happens when you move toward a healthy lifestyle. Start with you and watch the dominoe affect it will have on those who love you. The one thing i've learned is that you can't make someone do what they aren't ready to do. If you are concerned about his health you should share that and that alone and inform him you plan to make some changes with what foods are being prepared by you. And DO YOU! He will follow suit watch! Be encouraged. You in a great place for support! hugs
  • brittlynne3579
    brittlynne3579 Posts: 217 Member
    When I was at my binging/purging state and ballooning, my boyfriend at the time didn't understand. He'd buy Halloween candy and leave it out, buy ice cream bars and I'd see them. He'd notice everytime something was gone (which was always, cause I binged...duh :laugh: ) but he didn't have a problem with his weight. So on top of his poor eating habits, there was also a sensitivity gap.

    The ****head who just broke up with me was different though (sorry, he's still a ****, had to throw that in)! My weight wasn't in as dire a situation but he would just casually throw it out there. Babe, I'm going to the gym if you wanna come. Babe, there is this awesome class I'm taking tonight, I think you'd love it if you can get off work on time. Ohhhh we should try this recipe, it's super healthy AND way cheaper than going out to eat tonight. Things like that. He took the pressure OFF weight loss and made it more about us spending time together, money, amount of fun it was, ect.

    Also, try some random exercise ambushes :laugh: I call them that bc they don't SEEM like exercise. Go shoot paintball guns...you're running your BUTT off doing that. Go play laser tag at the closest kiddie park. Got pets? Take them for walks...it's exhausts them, gives ya'll a minute to talk and you could always use the excuse you're afraid to go alone :wink:

    I hope this helps and GOOD FOR YOU for wanting to better your life XOXO
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    All you can do is go forward with your healthy changes. If you are "walking the walk" and getting results, he will eventually notice, and, hopefully, get on board.

    Perfect example is my wife. I started over 18 month ago. Been making modest progress. Shopping and cooking healthier, but not preaching. About 6 months ago, she got on board too, and has had much better success than I. She's lost about 13% in 6 months, whereas I've only about 9% in 18 months. She's looking good too.
  • christyrice
    christyrice Posts: 3
    I agree with most ppl who have told you , you cant make him. you can only encourage him and buy things in the house of good choice. Try and buy things that are healthy and continue to get healty yourself and hopefully he will join you.
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