The awesomist intro you'll ever read:

Greetings!


I hereby and forthwith would like to introduce myself. I hail from a tribe of carbon based bikers in the southeastern edge of a northwestern geographical entity that seems mostly to persist both in and out of the finer hallucinogenic states that a friend of a friend of a guy I used to know is able to obtain.

I spend my time being semi-gainfully employed and seeking out jalapeno pastries. I may or may not have once installed and used linux on a computer that did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

I have never enjoyed a movie. I once went hitchhiking in a river. I never negotiate with underground sprinklers. I will fear no spatula, and enjoy quoting the Swedish chef. Bork.

You can call me wonko, and if you call me , try to make it before 9. I go to bed early.

Unfortunately, I spent too much time being effing amazing, and not enough time watching my caloric intake. Lucky for you, that means I'll be here for a while, while I shape up, slim down, fire up, throw down and generally make everything awesomer. Awesomeist. Awesome-sauce. Whatever.

Also, I can drive anything, ride motorcycles for distance, write when I want to, believe in the healing powers of rock and roll and drink hard liquor regularly.