I need help.

You may seriously want to consider talkng to someone or try to find a support group if insurance is a problem. I've never suffered from an eating disorder but I do suffer from depression and anxiety. It sounds like you don't have a strong support system and that is what you need during these times.

I feel your pain and hope you have at least one real life person you can talk to who won't judge.

Also try going for a walk to get some endorphins flowing, they are a natural antidepressant and the fresh air can help clear your mind. There's always yoga and meditation as well.

It's a lot easier to not buy those items than to not eat them when they are already at your home. If you are having trouble moderating, then don't have the foods that are particularly problematic around.

I still don't have cookies in the house often, or brownies. I'm a realist. I don't care if I should be able to have them around and not eat too many of them. It works to not have them around all of the time, and I am going with whatever works.

I'm sorry so much has hit you all at once. Even though you asked about controlling eating, your statements about being depressed and only wanting to eat and sleep suggest that you already know that your problem is larger than resisting chocolate cravings. Even if we offer you tips for substituting lower-calorie foods or craving-defeating strategies or motivation, the underlying difficulties you're facing and the emotional impact they're having on you will still be there. So I hope (and I mean this in the kindest way possible) that you'll find some help and support in the real world, whether from a doctor, therapist, or a support group (one aimed at the issues causing your depression, e.g., relationship loss, not one aimed at weight issues). Maybe you could at least see your doctor to get screened for depression?

You've said you're not overweight now, but then you say you're looking for "support, guidance and tips from people on here to help me with my weight loss." Why do you need support for weight loss if you're not overweight? Given that you also say you have a history of anorexia, you might want to ask yourself why you now want to lose weight if you're not overweight?

But to try to give you a little bit of what you're asking for, here's something to think about with respect to the chocolate cravings. The next time one hits, ask yourself, "Did it help the last time? Did it really make me feel better? Did it give me the emotional energy to do something other than eat something else or go to bed? If I have a piece of chocolate, is it going to enable me to go do something active, go to the gym, take a walk or go for a run, put on an exercise tape, put on music and dance?" (But also, how much chocolate are we talking about? One piece, if it fits in your calorie budget for the day, is really not a problem. Are you sure that between you're depression and anorexic history you're overestimating the importance of that chocolate.)

Best of luck to you, and I hope that things start getting easier for you soon.

I'm sorry to hear about all the things you're going through.

You certainly can benefit from seeking help as others have mentioned. In the meantime, do you have any hobbies that can occupy your mind and time? Do you have friends you can share these hobbies with? Sometimes people relapse into this unhealthy cycle because they withdraw from many of the activities they used to do. Even if it's a new hobby, it can take your mind off things.