Anybody else just need a bit of "stranger support" at times?

You are brave for making a decision and not settling for anything less than what you need. It is ok to mourn- ending a relationship is a big loss. It is a death of sorts, right? You just have to find ways to say goodbye to the relationship- not just your fiancé, but the relationship itself. The comfort it undoubtedly gave you, your hopes and fantasies about it, just having someone around to spend time with, it is hard to let go of all that stuff. You can do it though. It sounds like you thought about it deeply and tried hard to make it work. Sometimes relationships fail despite all the hope and work and love you put into them, and it is a brave and strong and healthy thing to move on. And just because your fiancé hurt you does not mean that you should not care f you hurt him. But you also may have some hope that maybe something magical will happen and things will be fixed and you don't want to hurt him because of that hope. It is ok to feel that. It is ok to be sad about it. You just have to endure it/ If you can, figure out ways to say goodbye to the relationship. Write up a 'divorce' paper about how the relationship is officially over, or get rid of something that you fare holding on to as a symbol of the relationship. You do not have to do it today, but do some act or ritual that is about saying goodbye and letting go. You will be ok, and then at some point you will be good, and then one day you will feel awesome and proud of yourself for getting through this and you will high-five yourself.

I should be happy all the time, too. There’s nothing wrong with a little pain. I’ve learned so many wonderful things over the years in painful situations. In fact, sometimes it takes death to teach us about life; it takes misery to teach us about joy. So embrace it when it comes. Say, it’s a part of life. Put your arms around it. Experience it! Learn to feel it again. Scream, yell, gnash the walls. Experience the pain. Cry. Bang on the table! Be angry! Let it come out. And then forget it. Otherwise, you’re going to store it up forever.

--Leo Buscaglia

Ok, here it is! Put your big girl panties on and just do it!!!

I just did after 15yrs of marriage and wished I had done it a looong time ago!

YOU deserve to be happy because YOU are worth it!!!

Best of luck! I know it hurts but believe me...it's the right thing to do!

Look forward to the possibilities of your new future rather than dwelling on what could have been.
:flowerforyou:

I like what 1ZenGirl said, if you weren't bawling your eyes out I would say you didn't ever have your heart in the relationship that is ending. You are wounded and it hurts. It's OK to express that hurt.

And the future is now scarier because what you thought was going to be is demolished and you invested all that time and effort to now start over. You are a very brave person who will make the hard choice knowing how much it hurts. There is so much in life that we cannot control and just have to deal with. Getting treated like dirt is not one of those things. You will be so much better off and some day will look back and be so glad you made this decision. Feel free to add me if you want support along the way.

Good luck, let us know how you get on if you want to :-)

i soo feel for you. this is such a painful time. words can hardly console you and actions can barely remove the awkwardness of not having the one you love at your side or really, even on the same page. i so live this, i left my 25 year marriage nearly 4 years ago, but still have been unable to move forward with my life. that emotional pain is paralyzing i may say. but --- what i would like to say to you (as i live daily) i refuse to let that pain drag me through the mud (the unclear emotions), instead, since we have choices, i wake up daily and choose to stand tall and tread through that pile of mud with power! life isn't pretty - but it is what we make of it. even though the path is challenging, we can make our sights ahead clear and be the great, energetic, friendly people we really are just shine so very bright!

It's definitely hard! I left my ex in 2003 after living with him four years. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life but I learned so much from it and it really made me into a stronger person! You're going to be just fine. Just hang in there! It will get easier.

Better to end it now then after Xyears and Xkids.....take it from me.

Anytime that you decide that the dream you've thought you've wanted isn't what you actually want, you're bound to be sad, and angry , and confused etc. Let yourself feel what you're feeling, don't try to bury it. But make the best decision for you, it's time to be a bit selfish

Allow yourself this time to allow yourself to feel a little! Even the strongest person has their weak moments sometimes.

That being said, be proud of yourself that you are being strong and standing up for yourself NOW before the "fiancé" got changed to "husband/wife"! I know it may hurt now, but it will hurt more if allowed to stay and fester and become more of a problem later. (The old proverb - give them an inch & they will take a mile?)

You have to decide what is right for YOU. Be true to yourself.

Get out and fins someone who loves you for you!

No one deserves to be beat down!

Get off your *kitten* and get on with life!

You know, somebody who isn't in the 'inner circle'. I kinda need that right now.

(This isn't really about diet or fitness support so I apologise if it doesn't belong here)

So, after months of being a coward about it all I'm finally setting things in motion and bringing my relationship to an end. My fiancé, as much as I love him, has broken me down these past three and a half years. It's taken me a long time to even begin rebuilding myself and in the process I've come to realise that he - and the life we'd planned - just don't seem to have the place they once did. The man has cheated and he has lied, rinsed and repeated. And as hard as he might have worked in recent times to make that all disappear, some things just aren't fixable. I love him dearly - and I believe wholeheartedly that he loves me every bit that he says he does - but it's not enough.

So why am I bawling my eyes out? Why, if I know that this is the right thing to do, does it feel so wrong? Why, after all the hurt he's caused me, am I scared to hurt him?

Somebody tell me to put my big girl pants on or something, please.

Sometimes letting go doesn't mean you stopped caring, it just means you realized he doesn't care enough to hang on to you. You are sad because you love this man. You feel broken and alone. You wanted the life you planned and you are scared to move on with out him but you have too. I have been exactly where you are but i didn't realize before the wedding. I married him and he continued to cheat and lie and tear me down. Get out now! Suck it up and know that while it hurts right now you are saving yourself YEARS of pain and heartache not to mention a costly divorce. Be thankful you didn't have kids with him like I did with my ex husband. My son has never had his father in his life but he has to watch his dad raise his other children from his affairs from a distance. They are the same age and my son goes to school with them. It is so hard. Don't put yourself through this anymore. One day you will see him treating someone the same way he has treated you and you will be so happy that he is someone else's problem and you are free from that! I promise! SOOO Pull up your big girl panties and suck it up and GET OUT!!!!!!!!