Hello, I am an all or nothing type of girl

randeewatkins
randeewatkins Posts: 1
in Introduce Yourself
Hello, my name is Randee. In my early 20's I worked for a restaurant, I could eat for free everyday. And eat I did, and drink pop and beer. I gained an enormous amount of weight. I got married at 22 and had my perfect son at the age of 23. After having my son I weighed 250 pounds! I am shocked just typing that number. I was depressed and my ex-husband was emotionally and physically abusive. Finally leaving him and finding a really nice man, I was ready to shed my emotional skin. In 2008 I lost 85 pounds. Amazing right! My boyfriend took me to Las Vegas for it too. But I slowly started to gain weight again. In 2010 I weighed 180 pounds. So I decided to lose 20. I lost 30, but I lost it by doing two hours of exercise each day. I would help my son do his homework from the treadmill. If I ate anything that made me feel remotely close to full, I would throw it up, until I was throwing up every meal. Then I started to not eat healthy, because if I was going to throw up, it didn't matter what I ate. A year ago, I moved to go back to school. Saddled with tons of homework, single parenthood and a job, I was trying to tackle my binge problem. I have now gained back all the weight plus some. I weighed this morning in at 189. I need to live a lifestyle I can maintain, exercise and eating. Any help would be appreciated!

Replies

  • jacbarney
    jacbarney Posts: 15
    I really identify with several pieces of your story. I was severely bulimic for years and the second I stopped the pounds packed on. I started work at the Victoria's Secret call center two years back and being entirely sedentary for ten hours a day and having a boyfriend who keeps odd work hours causing me to not sleep as much as I need has led to even more weight gain. We are close to the same starting weight and I would love to be your fitness buddy!
  • Sobeone
    Sobeone Posts: 72
    Hello Randy. Wow, what a story. I've thought about doing what you said you did. Throwing up after eating but I know that I would take it to the extreme so I wont allow myself to go down that road. I started MFP 7 weeks ago and have lost a ton of weight so far. Nothing extreme. Just logging my food and walking. Not doing 2 hours a day of exercise because I probably would just burn out and quit all together, so I'm keeping it simple and easy. I have a routine that I will be able to continue without any problems. I really enjoy getting healthy. I think that's a trick. If you keep it fun and easy it shouldn't be hard to keep it going. I was going to say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with. Instead I'll say just do it! If you would like a friend that's a good cheerleader send me a friends invite otherwise, just stay positive and be happy :)
  • _jayciemarie_
    _jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
    I am an all or nothing type of girl in a lot of ways. However--I avoid throwing up at all cost. It is the worst feeling in the world to me and even when I'm legitametely sick I try not to throw up. So I can't relate to that. However, I think I share all the same feelings and emotions that you go through--just not the actual purging. You have to find something that can really relate to you. For me, I'm pretty lazy. Or I was lazy. Once I started equating food to exercise--my world completely changed. I used to go out for wings/beer at least 2 or 3 times a week. When I found out that wings were about 70 calories a piece (which I usually had 10 at a sitting) and dipped in cups of ranch (an easy added 300 calories) washed down with 3 or 4 big beers. Yeah--at one sitting I would consume 2500 calories. That doesn't include my breakfast calories or my lunch calories or all the damn snacks in between. Once I put numbers to the food and equated that to how long I would have to get my fat *kitten* (excuse my language) up and working it off---my eating habits changed. It took me awhile to find a happy balance of eating and working out. I'm sure you can find some way to balance your eating habits out without hurting yourself :)
  • NK1112
    NK1112 Posts: 781 Member
    [ quote }Any help would be appreciated! [ / quote]

    You'll hear it again and again from many of those who respond to you, their story. I'm not gonna do that except to tell you that following exactly the type of methods you have used in the past (except for the purging) had gotten me to a hefty 282 pounds at my highest. So I'm glad to hear you don't want to do it that way anymore.

    First off … you have to accept that dropping weight is not a fast proposition … it is a journey that takes a while because the thing that has to change to make it happen is yourself. By that I mean, your attitude and habits. One habit to get rid of first is crucifying yourself over every slip up you might/will have. That is just self defeating. Another is looking at the food you do eat and figuring out if each choice is the best for your goal or a pretty poor choice. … here you'll want to look at the nutritional value of the food.

    MFP … as you might know since you originally joined up in Sep 2012 … has some pretty awesome tools that you can use to help track your nutrition. Weighing and measuring your food so you stay within acceptable serving sizes helps a lot. Having a healthy breakfast … great! ….

    …. Someone once said to "eat breakfast like a queen, lunch like a princess, and supper like a pauper". Hope you know what that means.

    If you need someone/something to provide you with a menu to follow for several weeks so you don't have to think about menu planning … take a look at EatingWell.com and at DrOz.com …. they both offer menu plans and recipes you can follow. Or do your own thing and eat the foods that you like …

    It helps to keep a daily food journal … even if you don't do it faithfully every day, it would be good for you to do while you're trying to figure all this out.

    That all said … none of these measures will assure you lose weight. Like I said before, it's a journey …. and for some of us it can seem to be a forever journey because we just don't get to work at it.

    Good Luck,
  • chelbel1027
    chelbel1027 Posts: 6 Member
    I have had some of the same struggles as you in the past. I have let it stand in my way of making healthy choices now in fear of letting those negative thoughts/behaviors come back to my life. I am learning to find a balance in things and have found making healthy choices feels better than anything! I am adding you as a friend!

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