I think I'm skinnier than I actually am...

It's weird because when I read this, my first thought was "yeah!" I definitely feel smaller than I am and when I see pictures where I really look big, it's almost hard to believe.

But on the other hand, when I'm talking to friends, co-workers, etc. about it and I tell them how much weight I want to lose, they always tell me I don't look heavy enough to lose that much weight. I'd say they were just being nice but I have some pretty direct friends, lol!

So I guess it's a mix? Body image is weird like that sometimes.

I get that reaction from co-workers if I mention I want to lose another 20-25 pounds. They all say no, I don't need it, I guess because my face, arms and legs look okay (my clothes hide my fat stomach and fat rear). I've stopped saying anything. The only person who agreed with me is a friend who is a retired professional ballet dancer. He understood because he's had a lifetime of body awareness.

The problem is so many people are overweight, our whole perspective is warped. We look like most of the other heavy people walking around, plus wear clothes that hide the worst of it.

I think I look better in the mirror than I do in pictures, so there has got to be some level of delusion operating there. That seems to be a common experience.

Great thread.

YES!! I did have this problem when I was at my fattest, and only got shocked into reality when I would see a photo of myself or catch my reflection in a shop window. I hated looking in the mirror, or if I did, would only look at my face, or a particular part of me, not the whole self. I avoided shopping and wore the same loose and daggy clothes to hide my fat... Except that I wasn't really hiding it at all.

I think I imagined myself to be at about the weight I am now, because when I look at myself these days, I see exactly the person I expect to see looking back. I feel great and I look good too.

These days I take a phot of myself every weekend when I do my measurements so I can actually SEE what I really look like, and how I've changed. It helps put things in perspective.

Me too - I avoided mirrors, I'd go in changing rooms to buy clothes and keep my back to the mirror. I knew if I dared to look it would horrify me, I just couldn't face up to what I knew I'd see! It's all denial and self deceit - I couldn't accept that I'd got to the size I did, so I fooled myself by avoiding facing up to it.

And because I never really saw myself, I carried a mental image of myself looking svelt and half my actual size! Because without that, I'd have curled up and died.

I remember too, a friend of mine who's much shorter than me, but I thought very big for her height, very big thighs, big bum, well padded shoulders. And I thought comparable to me. And I made a comment one day about us both being similar and her reaction was horrified - basically "You're fat, I'm not, I'm not as big as you!" which stung me - I don't know whether I was just skinnifying myself, or if she's in denial herself or what, but it left me feeling different, a freak.

There was a TV programme here in the UK - What Not To Wear, and the first thing the two presenters used to do was stick the participant in a cubicle, surrounded by mirrors, in their underwear so that they could understand their body shape and their best features. Some people were pleasantly surprised to realise they had a better figure than they thought. A few weren't. I used to cry (and reach for some chocolate) knowing that there was NO WAY on earth I could a) go in there and b) look at myself. Now, I could!

I don't have a full length mirror in the house, never have. Maybe I'd have stopped piling on the pounds if I did! I will get one now though.

But you do pull yourself up straight, pull in the tummy, pull your shoulders back when you look at yourself in the mirror, trying to look good - and then like so many people are saying here, someone takes a snap shot when you're off guard, and that's what you really look like! I used to pore over some of those pics agonising, thinking I don't really look like that surely? But then I'd think well, all the other people in the picture look like that so why would I be different.

But also the photos were the first thing that made me realise I am changing - someone took some photos of me in April, and I could see my face looked totally different! So it works both ways!

But I totally identify with the comparisons with other people - I used to be always asking my husband how I compared to other women - I'm not as big as her am I? My legs aren't as big as hers are they? I'm just so relieved to hear that other people do that too!

You don't know how many times over the years I'd see a large woman and ask my husband "do I look as big as her". Part of it was I didn't want to be that big, but part of it was I would just look at everyone and could never figure out if I looked that big. I knew I was big (never as big as I am now), but I couldn't tell how big I really looked.
You are not alone.

Oh Thanks for saying that! I thought it was just me! I thought I was mad! I'll tell my husband, he'll be relieved to know I'm just normal like you xxx

I went through a time period of doing this because I wanted to know REALLY how I compared to other bodies. I drove my family nuts with it. I still don't know and I don't feel as big as I am. I claim that is my thinner / healthier person inside of me who I want everyone to see. But yes, pictures are the truth tellers, but it's still hard for me to wrap my head around. I don't like to look in full length mirrors either.

Oh yes. That's me completely and consistently. I can be 44 years old and 300 lbs and think I'm 20 and 175. Then, of course, when I look in the mirror my brain goes "wth's up with that broken mirror???"

I did the same thing at my fattest because I had, at one point, been skinny. So I always thought of myself as a small person, a skinny girl. Since the weight gain piled on over a long period of time, I deluded myself into believe it was 5, maybe 10 lbs of winter chub or water weight or whatever even when I was obviously overweight.

The biggest thing for me was seeing photos. You think you're getting along just fine but then you see yourself from angles and perspectives that you never get in the mirror, and realize you are a lot fatter than you thought. It all comes down to whether you like your weight or not, I personally was unhappy when I realized I was fat but there are plenty of women who rock it.

It must be denial for you not to see yourself as you actually are? Burying your head and wishing it weren't so isn't the answer.

There is research that confirms this too! One of the things that affects how you see yourself is what your closest group of friends looks like... if they are overweight you are much more likely to see your (overweight) body as smaller than it actually is. I didn't think I looked too bad at my highest weight but now I look back at the photos and my arms! books and face just look so big. I gotta say I think it's a better response than looking at yourself and hating what you see!

Yep, I still have to fight it sometimes (thinking I magically "carry it well"). I've got a digital file folder where I keep copies of all those horrible candid photos so I can visit them from time to time to get a dose of the truth. It's too easy to get complacent otherwise.

Does anyone remember that movie Shallow Hal where Jack Black doesn't see Gwyneth Paltrow as fat at all...then he holds up a pair of her underwear and it's HUGE and he's like "Whaa...?". That's me sometimes when I see my clothes. lol

I don't know if I really think that I'm skinner than I actually am but I do know that I like the woman in the mirror more than the one in pictures :glasses:
Actually one of the reasons I have started dieting and exercising again is to be able to look at pictures of myself (: