Always on the verge of "f it."

duckiec
duckiec Posts: 241 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
It seems now more than ever, every day, heck every meal I'm teetering on the edge of "oh f it, I'm just gonna eat, and be better tomorrow." That would mean I'd stop counting for the day, and eat what I wanted not what I should have.

I rarely give in, even though its constantly going through my head. I do have planned count-less days or meals, but this is separate from those. Increasing the frequency of those doesn't help the usual days, really.

When/if I do give in, it's not a binge (or what I think of as a binge - way out of control and large amounts) - I'm probably close to, maybe a little over/under TDEE for the day. I don't know for sure, of course, because a critical component to feeling "freeeeee" is not counting. But when I look back later, it's usually not too bad; it's a combo of the permission to eat tasty things I don't have usually, with the idea that I don't have to be fully calculating/accountable that's rewarding in the immediate sense.

I've got 10-15lbs left to lose, have been at it since January, and while I want to accomplish those goals, most days I'm just hungry, tired, and sad that this is such/still a constant struggle.

How do others make this better? The idea of moving from losing to maintenance some day with this omnipresent battle with myself.... giving up is NOT an option/going to happen but it's still very depressing.

Replies

  • amandarama_
    amandarama_ Posts: 29
    I am in the same place with only having 10-15 pounds to lose. It's hard because it moves much slower now than it did in the beginning. For me personally, it's harder because I am pretty happy with where I am at right now. And although I know I'd eventually like to lose the last little bit, I'm not in the biggest rush. I'm getting married in 11 months, so I'm using that as my motivation.

    Let yourself still eat the tasty things you love, and just try and fit them into your daily calories. No one is forcing you to track and count calories, this is a choice that you made on your own. You're the only person who can hold you accountable for doing it.

    Everyone has days where they feel like giving in. Just remember why you started and why you're doing this in the first place. You are free, and with that freedom you made the choice to better yourself and make yourself healthier by way of counting your calories and losing your last little bit of weight. You just need to get past feeling like it's creating a prison for you. I allow myself to eat maintenance once a week. Maybe having one day a week to know is your day will make the rest of the days easier?

    EDIT: Spelling!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Calorie counting for a long time is exhausting and draining, especially when you're always eating at a deficit. Congratulations on successfully doing it for almost a year, though!

    Maybe take a week or two and just eat at maintenance. Everyone needs a break once in awhile. You won't be cheating since you're intending to eat at maintenance, and in a week or so you'll be feeling a little more refreshed and ready to get back to it with enthusiasm. Ok, maybe not enthusiasm, but you'll be feeling a little more motivated.
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
    it is. I have been talking to myself (clearly the first sign of madness) and sort of put myself on maintenance until after Christmas. I was getting really obsessive with counting and measuring and I don't want to be like that. I want to spent the holidays not debating the calorie content. That said I am at a normal weight now, the rest is vanity.

    Good luck :-)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    You only NEED XXXX number of calories a day, anything more is wasteful to your body and wasteful of food.

    You just have to figure out what that number is, and stick to it.

    If you are legitimately hungry, maybe your goals are set too aggressively. If you are eating with a moderate deficit and you have excess weight to lose, you shouldn't be hungry.
  • amandarama_
    amandarama_ Posts: 29
    Maybe take a week or two and just eat at maintenance. Everyone needs a break once in awhile. You won't be cheating since you're intending to eat at maintenance, and in a week or so you'll be feeling a little more refreshed and ready to get back to it with enthusiasm.

    Great advice! When I was losing before I would do this sometimes. Even just for one weekend or something.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
    I think most dieters feel like this at one time or another. You just have to keep pushing to get where you want to be. If you're always hungry, try to eat lower calorie foods that you can have more of. Eat more often. I try to work it so that I eat about every 2 hours. Start with a good breakfast, a moderate snack, a good lunch, another snack and then dinner. Most days I manage to stay under 600 calories before dinner and I'm not usually hungry. Some days are harder than others but for the most part I'm not thinking "I wish I could eat more". If none of that sounds appealing to you, you could try to lose weight slower. If you're set to lose 1 pound per week, try going down to .5 lb/week that way you can eat more daily without the guilt. Losing weight isn't easy but nothing worth having ever is. Keep with it and you'll get to where you want to be.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    If you are legitimately hungry, maybe your goals are set too aggressively. If you are eating with a moderate deficit and you have excess weight to lose, you shouldn't be hungry.
    except, hunger doesn't really work like that, unfortunately.

    OP - it sounds like two things are bothering you - feeling restricted by having to count at all, and not getting to eat certain tasty foods. I would try to incorporate those tasty foods into the days that you are counting and managing to eat at a deficit, so you're not making such a mental divide between being on or off the diet. If you eat the foods you like all the time (albeit in limited portions) then that will hopefully reduce the feelings that you want to say "f it", because you're already getting to eat those foods.

    Secondly, I would maybe just try to have more days of not counting, and accept that it might take a little longer to reach your goal. If you're eating around your TDEE when you don't count, then you're already doing a pretty good job. Calorie counting can be very draining, so it's ok to take a break from it. Some people struggle to keep their eating under control if they're not tracking everything, but it doesn't sound like that's a problem for you. Use those days you're not tracking to practise maintenance, which is an important skill in itself.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    why dont you just eat tasty things as part of your calorie goal?
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,995 Member
    Every 3 months I take a 1 or 2 week diet break and eat at TDEE. I think it is good for both my mind and metabolism. I still log though.
  • duckiec
    duckiec Posts: 241 Member
    Thank you for the ideas and support, folks! I have my goals, and I know how to get to them... but that doesn't mean I have to go balls-out to get to them RIGHT NOW. It's all part of the balance, and maybe if I can back off for a bit, back off the precise tracking, keep up on (if not add to) my exercise load, that will help me feel more like I can do this for the long haul.

    It's ironic- I'm getting an award on Sat. for my "lifestyle changes" in being healthier, but I feel like a total hypocrite that didn't change my life- I've just become a master dieter, that happens to stay on the wagon more often than not.

    I'm definitely closer to where I want to be, in fact I'm already at the size I imagined I'd get to, even if I'm not happy with my body. But, will I ever be? A whole other thread, for sure...
  • loriq41
    loriq41 Posts: 479 Member
    I have like...9 lbs left to lose to reach my goal and sometimes when I am having an extremely "hungry day" and I am about dying from having less than ideal willpower I often think "is this worth it? what am I doing? I want to eat this whole f'ing bowl of pasta! What does this all mean?" Usually I can erase these negative thoughts...like 99% of the time..but that other 1% is a killer *sigh*
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
    I lost quite a bit, then got stuck at 150. I stayed there for several months, losing and gaining the same 5 pounds over and over again.

    After talking it over with a friend who is a competitive bodybuilder, I scheduled a menu that keeps me in calories, with a ton of protein, moderate carbs, and very little grain. I eat the exact same thing nearly every day. It's repetitive. It's also easy. I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat, so I tend to not think about food. If I'm not thinking about food, I'm not dwelling on all the delicious things that make me fat. If I'm not dwelling on it, I'm very unlikely to eat it. Every morning before work, I pack my lunch cooler with the same thing. Every day while I'm at work, I eat the same stuff, and I don't have to think about what I'm doing. I already know how much food I'm going to get. I already know I won't be hungry when I'm done.

    There are a few random things that get tossed in, but not a great quantity, and not every day. Having to figure out how many calories are in different foods every day was exhausting, and it made me angry. I'd be ready to eat, but I'd have to log it all first. Trying to log in calories when I am starving just makes me uber-pissy. For example, last week my husband made an awesome salad for dinner. But, I was close to the end of my calories, so I had to figure out how much lettuce, carrots, zucchini, what is in the homemade dressing, how much cheese, etc. It was delicious, but it took a good 8 minutes to log the stupid thing before I could eat it. EDIT - I usually eat a separate meal from my family, because they are not going to eat the same thing for dinner every night. My husband will make special meals that will fit my calories (generally) and avoid grains, just so I can eat something different. He's incredibly supportive.

    I'm sticking to this menu until I reach my goal. My goal is a certain look, not a clothing size or weight. After that, I'm not sure what I'll do. I really like not having to count my calories up every day.
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 842 Member
    I think we all have those days. If you're constantly in that state then possibly you went on a diet and didn't make a lifestyle change. The difference to me is diet's end and then we go back to eating the stuff before a diet. Lifestyles are harder to change but they are more permanent. That's just my two cents on it.
  • mssierra2u
    mssierra2u Posts: 86 Member
    I totally hear you. I've been hovering for a while and the f it conversation happens all the time. Then I gained 5 pounds and that changed the conversation. For me, "f it" is the prelude to bad decision making, and I am trying to train myself to automatically put myself on time out. It almost feels as though I'm re-starting, but I still get to do so 30 pounds lighter than I did before.

    Hang in there, because you are not alone. :flowerforyou:

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