Dating and Weight Loss

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SamanthaD1218
SamanthaD1218 Posts: 304 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else have trouble keeping up their weight loss while trying to date? I've lost a good amount of weight and now that I'm feeling better about myself I'd like to enjoy dating again, but it's so difficult!! Dating seems to be all about dinner and drinks and it's a huge test of willpower every time I go out.

Part of the reason why I started to lose weight was to feel more attractive and confident and be able to enjoy going out, but now that I feel better about myself, I'm afraid of going out and gaining it all back. I want to be able to go on a date and not worry that my cocktail has 300 calories or that the appetizer the guy ordered is totally fried and fatty... I know moderation is key, but I feel like I'm focusing more on what I'm eating or not eating rather than enjoying the evening.

For anyone who is dating while still trying to lose weight - any advice? Do you tell your date? Do you just eat in moderation and not mention it?

Replies

  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    Enjoy yourself on a date. Forget about the calories, well be reasonable at least about the type of food,but dont order just a salad. most men said that it's such a turn off for a girl to order just a salad not unless they're vegan or vegetarian. It's just a meal, adjust on the other meals of the day instead :)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Ok first... I have to say it, you are beautiful.
    Second, I'd just have a little bit of the appetizer and try for a healthier entree. Maybe just eat light during the day when you have a date and try not to worry too much about it. It's not an every day thing.
    Good luck!
  • LittleRaeJay1
    LittleRaeJay1 Posts: 12
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    Weirdly, dating is an encouragement for me to lose weight. I always enjoy whatever meal I have, but then compensate the following day or so. When they get to know me better, I just tell them I'm losing weight (so I don't want dessert, or popcorn at the cinema, or that extra beer etc): if they don't like it, they can find someone else!
  • PheonixRizing
    PheonixRizing Posts: 131 Member
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    I agree with the last poster on this. You have to enjoy yourself, just be reasonable. You only live once and it's not like this is an every night occasion. I'm not "dating" anymore but what I do when I know my mate and I are going to a party or out for the evening with friends is I do some extra exercise and take a long jog or something to have an enormous amount of extra calories for the day. Not to go too crazy but just so I don't have to think so much about it and can enjoy myself. Just have fun love, you are adjusting to your new lifestyle and enjoying your new body. Don't stress about it so much.
  • katymartino
    katymartino Posts: 17 Member
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    I felt the same way when I started dating again. I found that splitting apps was good, and I started looking up nutritional values for where we were going so I could plan out what I could eat and drink, and how much of it. If you overdo it, don't worry about it. We're human, we are allowed to make mistakes.
    I've started allowing myself one day a week where I can splurge. The new boyfriend thinks it's funny :) He knows I'm trying to stay healthy and eat right, and is proud of all the success I've had. So on the one day a week that I splurge, he likes to tease me and say I'm going to have to work out extra hard the next day.
    Good luck, and seriously, don't stress about it. You're beautiful, and any guy who can't handle your new healthy lifestyle isn't worth it anyway :)
  • tawanda6329
    tawanda6329 Posts: 139 Member
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    As long as I know in advance, I can plan in advance by doing cardio and eating less during the day. For dinner, I never get an appetizer. I get a salad before my meal and never get fruity drinks. I normally drink Hennesy & diet coke (around 80 calories).
  • zornig
    zornig Posts: 336 Member
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    I try to suggest date activities that aren't solely focused on food and drink. Like a good date would be to go to an outdoor farmer's market--you walk around most of the time, and if you stop and get something from a food truck or one of the vendors it's likely to be small or something you can select that meets your needs. You could suggest meeting for an event of some kind--maybe where you live has First Friday, or you can go to a gallery opening or a street festival, etc. Part of dating is discovering whether or not you're compatible with the other person. If that other person doesn't share your interest in fitness/nutrition, or isn't at least supportive of your efforts, they're not likely to be a very good prospect for you anyway.
  • xxcooneyxx
    xxcooneyxx Posts: 221 Member
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    Enjoy yourself on a date. Forget about the calories, well be reasonable at least about the type of food,but dont order just a salad. most men said that it's such a turn off for a girl to order just a salad not unless they're vegan or vegetarian. It's just a meal, adjust on the other meals of the day instead :)

    I totally agree with the over all message of what you said, and I agree mostly that you should let loose a bit and try and be flexible when on a date. Still, what you want to eat or not eat should never be dictated by whether a man is turned on by your choice or not. Even at my highest weight I loved salad. I also really enjoy how eating healthier makes me feel. Sometimes I really WANT the salad. IF that is going to turn a guy off, then he really must not be all that into me to begin with.

    Heck, even if you would rather have a burger and fries, but choose salad because this is your 3rd date with him that week, you should not let what he thinks dictate what you eat. It's your body and your choice about what you want to live with. Personally, if I told myself I could never have a burger again, I would be upset. Still, that is my choice. If I want a burger, I'll eat it and I'll just hit the gym harder the next day. If a girl would rather not have to do that and eat a lot more salad and a lot less burgers, that should be her choice. What he thinks should not factor into that unless she is forcing him to eat salad too.
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    Enjoy yourself on a date. Forget about the calories, well be reasonable at least about the type of food,but dont order just a salad. most men said that it's such a turn off for a girl to order just a salad not unless they're vegan or vegetarian. It's just a meal, adjust on the other meals of the day instead :)

    I totally agree with the over all message of what you said, and I agree mostly that you should let loose a bit and try and be flexible when on a date. Still, what you want to eat or not eat should never be dictated by whether a man is turned on by your choice or not. Even at my highest weight I loved salad. I also really enjoy how eating healthier makes me feel. Sometimes I really WANT the salad. IF that is going to turn a guy off, then he really must not be all that into me to begin with.

    Heck, even if you would rather have a burger and fries, but choose salad because this is your 3rd date with him that week, you should not let what he thinks dictate what you eat. It's your body and your choice about what you want to live with. Personally, if I told myself I could never have a burger again, I would be upset. Still, that is my choice. If I want a burger, I'll eat it and I'll just hit the gym harder the next day. If a girl would rather not have to do that and eat a lot more salad and a lot less burgers, that should be her choice. What he thinks should not factor into that unless she is forcing him to eat salad too.


    I agree, I forgot that people actually craves for salads :))
  • elisabeisme
    elisabeisme Posts: 308 Member
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    It is tough to stay on track. I have come to terms with the fact that I will indulge on dates and try and plan the rest of my day around it. I eat less earlier that day and try to get a great cardio session in to "earn" lots of extra calories.

    If a date asks me what kind of food I like, I will often suggest sushi or seafood because it's usually easier to find good options. I like sashimi and that's really healthy. I also often suggest a steakhouse, because those are surprisingly easy to manage. The food is simple and it's not out of place to have a salad starter and just eat a hunk of grilled protein with some BBQ sauce. But often, a date doesn't say where we are going so I just figure it out as we go along.

    For drinks, I usually order wine because I enjoy wine and it's easier to calculate the calories afterwards than it is for a specialty mixed drink.

    I don't tell my date that I'm on a diet because this is just how I eat now. Plus, I do really enjoy a dinner out with friends. It's one of my favorite things to do so It's important to me to be able to fit this into my new lifestyle. If. I can achieve maintenance calorie levels on date days, I am happy with that. I'm willing to put up with a bit slower weight loss to be able to enjoy dates.
  • shutyourpieholeandsquat
    shutyourpieholeandsquat Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I always make them tell me where we'll be eating prior to the date then I make sure to go online and research what I'll be eating. Have maybe one drink with waters in between. It's totally doable but I know what you mean.

    Coffee is always a good option too (tall skinny vanilla latte 2 splendas) ha!
  • primal_cupcakes
    primal_cupcakes Posts: 280 Member
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    Skip dinner and drinks entirely and go right to the after-dinner cardio :p

    jkjk I would never. I'm a lady.

    jk I'm no lady.

    I usually limit myself to two glasses of beer or wine on my first few dates with someone so I can keep my head in the game, which has the added benefit of keeping my calories in check a bit.

    I also usually wear red lipstick on dates. It's like a good luck thing, but I suppose being aware of it and wanting to keep it more or less intact keeps me from demolishing a plate of greasy nachos and makes me eat more mindfully.

    I know this advice sounds super old-school, but that's how my mama raised me. Like it or not, dating is a little bit of a game.

    Also, I usually eat a little something before a dinner date so I'm not starving at my meal and less likely to go wildly over my calories.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Start dating a bodybuilder.
    He'll kick your *kitten* in the gym instead of taking you to fancy dinners. :grumble:

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