Cleaning out friends list...

karijoeide
karijoeide Posts: 103
in Motivation and Support
I am just wondering what your thoughts are on deleting "friends" from your list who are inactive or inconsistent in participation within the site. Would this be inappropriate?

The following is my opinion on this topic, please share yours :)

If you don't log in frequently, I won't keep you. I am sorry but honestly I like people that help keep me motivated as well as me motivating them......and I figure if you have over 100 friends and you haven't logged in over 14 days, you're not very interested...

What is the appropriate time frame before you delete people?

Replies

  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    I feel about the same as you do. After about 30 days they are deleted.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    Agree!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    You're a lot nicer than I am.

    I do what I want and don't discuss it.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    It depends. If I have a long history with a person, I won't delete them for a long while. If it is somebody recent to my friends list who I never really got to know, then I will delete if they are not active. But I don't have any set schedule for when I look at a clean out.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Usually a month incase they are on holidays or sick unless we were especially close then a couple of months maybe.
  • sarahertzberger
    sarahertzberger Posts: 534 Member
    Usually I don't delete people until they haven't logged on for a few months or if I know there's a reason they aren't logging on (new baby, long vacation, etc.) But, almost all my friends log every single day same as I do, but I do at least give people a while
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    I am just wondering what your thoughts are on deleting "friends" from your list who are inactive or inconsistent in participation within the site. Would this be inappropriate?

    The following is my opinion on this topic, please share yours :)

    If you don't log in frequently, I won't keep you. I am sorry but honestly I like people that help keep me motivated as well as me motivating them......and I figure if you have over 100 friends and you haven't logged in over 14 days, you're not very interested...

    What is the appropriate time frame before you delete people?

    When I will choose to, I wouldn't necessarily delete friends who've not been in for months or weeks, but rather friends I've not interacted with and who are inactive. Don't particularly care for "friends" who I'd liken to loiterers or lurkers, zero activity but for rolling in and rolling out, some of whom don't even log Food & Exercise.Those who fit this particular criteria (sign in, don't log food/exercise vs don't blog/post status comments about how and where they are vs don't interact within and amongst our shared community of friends) might most likely be the sorts I'd remove from my list, when I'm up to tidying it up. Most of my friends (the majority of whom I'd interacted with daily during my early days here) who haven't been in, aren't here for life changing personal reasons, needing 100% focus to get their lives sorted before they are able to commit to holding themselves accountable on a daily basis by the time they return.
  • mrsamanda86
    mrsamanda86 Posts: 869 Member
    I delete anyone who didn't say they were going on vacation who hasn't logged on for more than a week, anyone I see that is starving themselves(I hope they get help but I'm not going to be supportive of them while doing that to themselves) and if I notice someone that NEVER interacts, they get the boot too. I love having friends, and most of mine are awesome, but I do have some basic requirements: log, EAT, and talk lol
  • bernied262
    bernied262 Posts: 882 Member
    I just cleaned mine out tonight. I generally have a clear out once a week. I delete people if they are non interactive, collector or drama Llamas.

    Now, I generally don't delete people because they haven't logged in for a few days, there could be many reasons why. However, if they have been gone for over a month I will send a message to make sure they are OK.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    It depends. If I have a long history with a person, I won't delete them for a long while. If it is somebody recent to my friends list who I never really got to know, then I will delete if they are not active. But I don't have any set schedule for when I look at a clean out.
    ditto:)
  • AccioFitness
    AccioFitness Posts: 244 Member
    I delete anyone who didn't say they were going on vacation who hasn't logged on for more than a week, anyone I see that is starving themselves(I hope they get help but I'm not going to be supportive of them while doing that to themselves) and if I notice someone that NEVER interacts, they get the boot too. I love having friends, and most of mine are awesome, but I do have some basic requirements: log, EAT, and talk lol

    This sums up what I do as well. Although I will make a bit of an exception in regards to activity level for MFP friends that I actively see and talk to outside of the internet. But I refuse to keep anyone who promotes unhealthy habits, regardless of whether I know you in person or not.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    I have never requested a single friend on this site. The few people I have on my list all requested me. They read a comment from the boards or are friends of other friends, and appreciated some advice or encouragement I gave. So, if they are currently inactive, I guess it's not my issue. I'll be here to continue to encourage them when they come back. I would hope....if something came up and made it hard for me to be consistent on here....I would hope they'd give me the same grace.

    My friends on here who regularly encourage me are invaluable to me. I soooo appreciate their encouragement. Folks who are currently inactive are just invaluable friends waiting to happen.

    Cut folks some slack.
  • Nt2Badhuh
    Nt2Badhuh Posts: 107 Member
    I have never requested a single friend on this site. The few people I have on my list all requested me. They read a comment from the boards or are friends of other friends, and appreciated some advice or encouragement I gave. So, if they are currently inactive, I guess it's not my issue. I'll be here to continue to encourage them when they come back. I would hope....if something came up and made it hard for me to be consistent on here....I would hope they'd give me the same grace.

    My friends on here who regularly encourage me are invaluable to me. I soooo appreciate their encouragement. Folks who are currently inactive are just invaluable friends waiting to happen.

    Cut folks some slack.

    I agree. I would like my friends to support me in whatever stage im in.
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
    I delete people when I find we are not exactly "on the same page" with MFP.
    As in heavy into working out and don't chat or very little.
    I don't feel like typing. Nice burn, good job, wtg everyday.
    I am not into exercise but yet quite serious about eating better and losing weight at a slow pace and have fun with this, chatting healthy recipes, daily happenings, weigh in results, common interests.

    So if sounds like you, feel free to send me a friend request.
    At age 55, I have no desire to run a 5k or wear a bikini....just looking for size 8 again. That would be the best.
    PS Both my one piece swimsuits look just fine and age appropriate.
  • karijoeide
    karijoeide Posts: 103
    My reputation continues.....Minnesota Nice :) Thanks for your feedback everyone!
  • Gkfrkv
    Gkfrkv Posts: 120
    From someone who can be really inconsistent with doing anything more then logging, I'm not going to get offended if someone unfriends me.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Is there a limit on how many friends you can have? If not then why bother deleting...?

    Just to clean up? Seems a bit pointless to me. Like ironing underpants.
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    I just cleaned mine out tonight. I generally have a clear out once a week. I delete people if they are non interactive, collector or drama Llamas.

    Now, I generally don't delete people because they haven't logged in for a few days, there could be many reasons why. However, if they have been gone for over a month I will send a message to make sure they are OK.

    This
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    I accept anyone who wants to be friends. Once a month I go through my list and if I see no activity for a month, I delete them. Nothing personal.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • bceltic
    bceltic Posts: 135 Member
    Well I've noticed within the past few weeks that I was getting virtually no responses from any of my friends ( I don't have many) with the exception of about 2, even when I finally hit the BIG 20 lbs lost :). I just now checked and quite a few of them haven't checked in weeks, so I deleted them. I have only deleted one active friend due their constant complaining about life problems. I have NOTHING against venting, but honestly I joined this group to be a healthier me, to learn and be encouraged by others, and to encourage others. I just realized that you can hide peoples post also without deleting them.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    You're a lot nicer than I am.

    I do what I want and don't discuss it.

    This.
  • Tmsmith007
    Tmsmith007 Posts: 71
    I think this is a great topic and I just wanted to chime in. Personally, when others are a vampiric drain and consistently are checked out in their ability to connect appropriately with others, they probably aren't a good source for friendship and one can delete them at will. Nothing worse than guilt trips and drama hanging one up in a non supportive and non encouraging relationship.

    Everything else I just ignore, people come and go, commitment levels differ, people can be crazy, but I am here like everyone else, to improve, grow, be connected to others with similar goals, encourage, be encouraged and inspire.
  • Tmsmith007
    Tmsmith007 Posts: 71
    Well I've noticed within the past few weeks that I was getting virtually no responses from any of my friends ( I don't have many) with the exception of about 2, even when I finally hit the BIG 20 lbs lost :). I just now checked and quite a few of them haven't checked in weeks, so I deleted them. I have only deleted one active friend due their constant complaining about life problems. I have NOTHING against venting, but honestly I joined this group to be a healthier me, to learn and be encouraged by others, and to encourage others. I just realized that you can hide peoples post also without deleting them.

    Congrats by the way, I just hit the big 20 too.
  • Tmsmith007
    Tmsmith007 Posts: 71
    I just cleaned mine out tonight. I generally have a clear out once a week. I delete people if they are non interactive, collector or drama Llamas.

    Now, I generally don't delete people because they haven't logged in for a few days, there could be many reasons why. However, if they have been gone for over a month I will send a message to make sure they are OK.

    This

    Drama llama, love it!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I clean out the ones who deactivate and the ones who are kind of weird about it..like the guy who would eat soup and run 3 hours a day for about a week and then you wouldn't see him at all for 2 weeks and then he was back doing the same thing, but griping because he wasn't losing.

    Everyone else can pretty much stay.
  • abtsdiet
    abtsdiet Posts: 39 Member
    I totally understand. Several of my friends tend to ignore my
    news feeds and offer no support.

    I try to give words of encouragement to all my friends several times a week. And they still ignore me. I feel a little rejected. Right now I have about 5 friends but I'm going to drop a few. Feel free to add me. I will defiantly offer encouragement.

    Ann
  • srogers89
    srogers89 Posts: 190 Member
    Toally justified in doing that. The idea of having friends on here is for motivation not for the sake of having 100+ 'friends'. If they aren't providing that motivation and support, cut em loose
  • bceltic
    bceltic Posts: 135 Member
    Thanks much!!!

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