No self-control

bmuelling07
bmuelling07 Posts: 23
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
I tend to live in the moment when it comes to what i put in my mouth.. and when I go out to eat I splurge and eat a bunch of crap that I shouldn't and I eat way more of it than I should. As I'm doing this I am aware that it isn't good for me.. but for some reason I don't care at the moment. However, I do come to later regret my choices of food and how much I ate.

Anyone else have this problem? I would really like to control this more so that I am not tempted to purge. That is the whole point of keeping a food log for me.. my therapist thinks it will help...

thanks guys,
Britney

Replies

  • savannahgur
    savannahgur Posts: 235 Member
    I share your problem also but what I try and do is think about what I'm going to eat BEFORE I go out and plan meals around that. If I'm out and about shopping and I haven't thought about what I want beforehand, that's when I splurge..so just pre-plan your meals around where you will be and what you will be doing.

    Also, eating at home before you go anywhere helps too.

    Hope some of this was helpful.

    jessica
  • bspz
    bspz Posts: 7
    I experience the exact same ting. I am conscious of what I am doing but am unable to stop. Afterwards, I have tremendous guilt which usually makes me eat more. You are not alone. I wish I had words of wisdom on how to stop this but, I too am struggling with it. I stopped buying all snacks so I don't have things to gorge on. However during those episodes, I will even eat croutons just to have something crunchy. Maybe having some healthy snack pre-measured out to have at the end of the day (as a reward for being in control all day) may help. Good luck and please share any tips you find helpful.
  • Margoose38
    Margoose38 Posts: 7
    Seriously, I am in the same boat that you are - I am SOOOOOO frustrated!!!!!! I wish there was a SAFE magic pill to keep me from stuffing my face!!!
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    i am in the same boat as you. When I sit down to eat it does not matter what it is I want it and I want all of it. What has been helping me out so far is logging it in here BEFORE eating. This way that regret I have afterwards is there before I pick up my fork.

    Good luck, you can do it!
  • kristibag81
    kristibag81 Posts: 61
    I am the same way! I have found that planning ahead helps as the pp said. Also, how I start my day with food is typically how I tend to eat all day. For instance, this morning I didn't take the time to eat at home...a banana or anything...so I ended up with a McD's sweet tea and biscuit...hello 2 meals of calories and snacks into one! UGH! This is how I usually "fail" at eating right.

    So, instead of beating myself up as there are going to be times of unhealthy decision making with food...I'm going to have a portioned lunch (lean cuisine) and drink lots of water. I also plan on getting some exercise today and not eat those calories...just for today though!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I would love to be able to just go grab a healthy snack and be done with it... but unfortunately I have a few problems.. 1. my boyfriend eats a lot of junkfood.. and I don't forsee him quitting his nightly crap-food bingeing. 2. A friggin' ho ho is a helluva lot more appealing to me than apple slices (Which sucks.. I like apples too..) and 3. For some reason unknown to me I am just so dang lazy that I would rather throw my diet in the garbage than just take the time to make up a healthy snack so that my intake for the day isn't totally effed.

    The idea of pre-planning is a good idea for eating out.. I did that while on a trip with my dad and brother recently and it went well actually. It's just that in my mind I think that I am going to be sacrificing flavor, and won't feel as satisfied if I get the healthier option on the menu. I think that I have bad wiring in my brain.... pretty sure..
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    i am in the same boat as you. When I sit down to eat it does not matter what it is I want it and I want all of it. What has been helping me out so far is logging it in here BEFORE eating. This way that regret I have afterwards is there before I pick up my fork.

    Good luck, you can do it!

    Great idea! The only downfall of that is that I do not have a phone where I could have the fitnesspal app. but I don't see why I couldn't just write down what I plan to eat to log later.. although it would be nice to know the nutritional info beforehand.. but nonetheless that is a good idea to see what I'm eating all written out in a list. Thank you!
  • 1FitMomof4Girls
    1FitMomof4Girls Posts: 202 Member
    Me too! No self control! I do great for several days, then I fall off the wagon and it takes me sevral days to get back on the wagon.
    Ridiculous!
  • mellencamper
    mellencamper Posts: 7
    When I think I'm going to eat something that will sabotage me, I tell myself nothing will ever taste as good as being a size two again.
  • netgirl224
    netgirl224 Posts: 64
    I am the exact same way and have been for as long as I can remember. I can tell you exactly what I'm doing, why it's wrong, and why I haven't lost weight etc..but I have no idea why I just can't fix my will power problem. Just know that you aren't alone at all!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    Mellencamper: Motivation via quotes takes me back to my dark days with anorexia... otherwise I would soooo do that because it did work.. lol... but I need to avoid anything triggering. Thank you though :)


    Gibson: Know exactly what you mean.. fortunately I have not been gaining weight back when I fall off. But, when I get back on the wagon I restrict myself too much.. which explains the screw ups.. blah :(
  • jeorwa
    jeorwa Posts: 92 Member
    It helps me to log my food BEFORE I eat it...when I see those calories adding up, sometimes it make me change my mind!
  • b_storch
    b_storch Posts: 1
    hang in there
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I am the exact same way and have been for as long as I can remember. I can tell you exactly what I'm doing, why it's wrong, and why I haven't lost weight etc..but I have no idea why I just can't fix my will power problem. Just know that you aren't alone at all!

    I think that the reason I tend to be so gluttonous is because of my childhood... I felt that I always had to eat up the good food or else my dad or brother would eat it all before I was satisfied. I remember that leftovers in our house didn't last more than 3 hours before one of us got into it. And I always would binge of the stuff that was the worst for me because it was a rarity in our household. Although my dad was and is overweight he would never let us get chips, regular soda, candy, or fast food unless lucky for us he was having a fat day and decided to say f it. On the rare occasions that we did have crapfood they never survived long.. my dad would polish off a bag of chips in one sitting sometimes.. (He also grew up eating leftovers and different stuff because he felt that if he didn't eat it then someone else would eat it all and leave him with nothing) I hate that this feeling of "WANT" was drilled into my head by just watching my dad. It blows my mind. I hope I can overcome this one day.. I never want my children to feel that they won't get enough of something.. ugh
  • mitts1970
    mitts1970 Posts: 56
    I think this is a tough thing for a lot of people, myself included! I am on week 4 of 1200 calories or less a day and am doing fairly well :) Here are a few things I do that might work for you... I always allow myself to eat what I want on the weekends, but in moderation - don't feel guilty about treating yourself! It's a reward for not giving in during the week! When your boyfriend is munching on bad stuff, grab a handful of plain roasted almonds, baby kosher dill pickles or celery and light cream cheese! These have helped me get through the snacking munchie times! Maybe if you tell your boyfriend you need his support - he will join you in healthier snacks! Check out the menu before you go out to eat and decide on something healthier before you go and another tip I have when going out to eat is to ask for a box before the meal... sounds silly, but if you box up half of it right away, it won't be right in front of you and you won't be as tempted to eat it all!

    Be confident in yourself, don't beat yourself up if you falter and get right back to your healthier routine! You can do this!!!!
  • caejde
    caejde Posts: 29 Member
    I do it at times too. But, instead of stressing over it, just get back on track the very next meal. Also, I think it's important to allow yourself to have a cheat-candy, dinner out, ice cream...whatever. I have found that when I restrict myself too much is when I binge and eat crappy the most. Just try to be a little careful when eating out. There's times I only eat half my food and bring the other half home and then it usually gets thrown out. Sometimes my husband will share an entree. It's hard work but it's a learning process too.
  • FemininGuns
    FemininGuns Posts: 605 Member
    I USED to have this problem. A lot of it had to do, for me, about ME. How I felt about myself, how I didn't care, and how I had thoughts of "one won't hurt" or "so and so eats this way and looks great, I should be able to do the same!" or "I'll do something about it tomorrow" or "I deserve to eat xx" or "this is so good, I have to hurry up and eat it so I can FEEL satisfied and FEEL full"

    My suggestion: Try keeping a log of your thoughts that go along with what you're eating... I know it sounds weird, but you will finally come see why you eat what you eat and can't stop! We don't just DO things... We set ourselves up - I truely see that now for myself. I used to set myself up by talking to myself well in advance about not exercising and what the next so called "yummy" meal will be. I have a MUCH different view on food now. I eat it for FUEL and not for making me feel happy, adequate or full. After seeing this, I now see A LOT of my family members overreating, and they're not even aware of it.

    I've been there, it's no fun - I feel your pain. If you are able to get to the point to balance your eating habits (or not even have it as an issue - as I do now) you will see that many more areas of your life will get under control as well.

    Once you have your thoughts about eating gathered on paper, you will start seeing your pattern. You will even see THE SAME PHRASE being repeated over and over again (just like a broken record). Once you have your patterns figured out, it's time to do the hard work and turn those thoughts into positive ones!!! REPLACE YOUR EATING THOUGHTS. For example: "Oh my god, I LOVE fries! They are so tasty and yummy!!!" turn to "Fries ARE good, but they are not good for me at all. I feel yucky after I eat them. How is eating fries helping me stay with my goal? It's NOT! So, no fries this time, I will opt for a sweet potatoe or brown rice. These foods make me feel happy, like I am staying on track with being healthy! I LOVE FEELING GOOD!" So when you turn your thoughts to postitive, you have to ramble on until YOU believe what your NEW POSITIVE THOUGHT will be. It's personal, so I might say something that rings true for me, while something different will be positive for someone else. Either way, you should feel lighter as you are doing your positive thinking :)

    I am surprised that your therapist hasn't suggested this method - it's basic Cognitive Restructuring.

    I hope this helps! It's some work, but the end result is well worth it :)

    Suggestion on a book to accompany you on this journey would be Love Yourself, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

    Cheers!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I think this is a tough thing for a lot of people, myself included! I am on week 4 of 1200 calories or less a day and am doing fairly well :) Here are a few things I do that might work for you... I always allow myself to eat what I want on the weekends, but in moderation - don't feel guilty about treating yourself! It's a reward for not giving in during the week! When your boyfriend is munching on bad stuff, grab a handful of plain roasted almonds, baby kosher dill pickles or celery and light cream cheese! These have helped me get through the snacking munchie times! Maybe if you tell your boyfriend you need his support - he will join you in healthier snacks! Check out the menu before you go out to eat and decide on something healthier before you go and another tip I have when going out to eat is to ask for a box before the meal... sounds silly, but if you box up half of it right away, it won't be right in front of you and you won't be as tempted to eat it all!

    Be confident in yourself, don't beat yourself up if you falter and get right back to your healthier routine! You can do this!!!!

    This helped a lot.. thank you for the tips. The snack alternatives that you listed are actually some of my favorites that I haven't had in a long time! And also, the idea of getting a box beforehand is SUCH a good idea! I notice that in between the time that I declare that I am full and the time I get my box I have continued to munch on my leftover food.. this idea will save me a lot of calories and regret lol thank you!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I USED to have this problem. A lot of it had to do, for me, about ME. How I felt about myself, how I didn't care, and how I had thoughts of "one won't hurt" or "so and so eats this way and looks great, I should be able to do the same!" or "I'll do something about it tomorrow" or "I deserve to eat xx" or "this is so good, I have to hurry up and eat it so I can FEEL satisfied and FEEL full"

    My suggestion: Try keeping a log of your thoughts that go along with what you're eating... I know it sounds weird, but you will finally come see why you eat what you eat and can't stop! We don't just DO things... We set ourselves up - I truely see that now for myself. I used to set myself up by talking to myself well in advance about not exercising and what the next so called "yummy" meal will be. I have a MUCH different view on food now. I eat it for FUEL and not for making me feel happy, adequate or full. After seeing this, I now see A LOT of my family members overreating, and they're not even aware of it.

    I've been there, it's no fun - I feel your pain. If you are able to get to the point to balance your eating habits (or not even have it as an issue - as I do now) you will see that many more areas of your life will get under control as well.

    Once you have your thoughts about eating gathered on paper, you will start seeing your pattern. You will even see THE SAME PHRASE being repeated over and over again (just like a broken record). Once you have your patterns figured out, it's time to do the hard work and turn those thoughts into positive ones!!! REPLACE YOUR EATING THOUGHTS. For example: "Oh my god, I LOVE fries! They are so tasty and yummy!!!" turn to "Fries ARE good, but they are not good for me at all. I feel yucky after I eat them. How is eating fries helping me stay with my goal? It's NOT! So, no fries this time, I will opt for a sweet potatoe or brown rice. These foods make me feel happy, like I am staying on track with being healthy! I LOVE FEELING GOOD!" So when you turn your thoughts to postitive, you have to ramble on until YOU believe what your NEW POSITIVE THOUGHT will be. It's personal, so I might say something that rings true for me, while something different will be positive for someone else. Either way, you should feel lighter as you are doing your positive thinking :)

    I am surprised that your therapist hasn't suggested this method - it's basic Cognitive Restructuring.

    I hope this helps! It's some work, but the end result is well worth it :)

    Suggestion on a book to accompany you on this journey would be Love Yourself, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

    Cheers!


    Thank you very much for the wonderful advice :o)
    I have only gone to therapy once, but we are doing cognitive restructuring. I used up all of my restructuring worksheets already but will get more. I have been mostly using them for my anxiety because I have distorted thinking when it comes to how I feel someone reacted to something and how i think it was something that I caused.. even though I'm realizing that I have no idea why someone does what they do.. and how do I know it's because of me? I have no way of knowing that.

    So yeh, I really should analyze what is going through my head when I am decided to eat things that are horrible for me when I could have had the healthier option that probably tastes better and wouldn't make me feel crappy. Thanks so much!
  • Nelneusa
    Nelneusa Posts: 13
    wow this is so true for me. I have always had a good metabolism…I could eat my sock off and still wouldn’t gein weight. People would look at me eat, and look at my body and they would be so surprised. That was great for me, cos like I always used to say “food is my BFF”. I don’t eat to feel happy though (apart from chocolate and sushi which do this for me). I eat because I like the taste of good food. We have two recipes at home now, one for me, and the other for my husband, who doesn’t restrict his eating, but he eats in moderation and doesn’t have to worry about weight Problem is while he is eating his good delicious food, I am stuck with the healthy veggs and stuff…and here where the problem lies..I cant see him eat and control myself (as u all have guessed I started gaining weight after I git married). When I don’t see anyone eat I am fine (and when I don’t see it lying around in the fridge)..its the visual that does it for me. I cant see and not eat…the moment I see good food I want it, and nothing can stop me. Once my husband tried to stop me, and I woke up at 2 am to eat it..i was bothering me even in my sleep. But low and behold, the moment that food has gone past my through and I am all satisfied I feel guilty, and try to compensate with exercise the next day, which does not resolve the problem.

    Long story short, I how exactly how you feel…an wish I too had the mechanisms and control to not just eat what comes before me. I was a size 2 just 1 year ago…now I am a size 4 goin to 6 
    HELPPPPPP
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I know what you mean about wanting to eat the crappy food so much that you actually go out of your way to sneak it. When I first moved in with Wesley I remember there were a few times when after he left for work I would totally pig out on food that was horrible for me... simply because I didn't want Wesley to see what a gluttonous pig I was and because I wanted to eat as much as I wanted without feeling he was judging me. And then when all was said and done I would just throw it right back up.

    It makes me mad to even just think about how much food I have puked back up since I was 15... how much money I have literally flushed down the toilet. I have since become comfortable enough with Wesley to where I no longer sneak food.
    I also have not purged for at least a month.. which is awesome for me.
  • missyhse
    missyhse Posts: 189
    Hang in there, you can beat this. My husband is a chronic bad eater/junk food snacker (but he did join MFP two weeks ago!!!) so I feel you on this. I agree with the previous posts, have natural almonds, pre-cut veggies etc around to grab when your boyfriend is snacking. Two other things that worked for me are when I go out to eat I always bring a tupperware container and split my meal BEFORE I start eating it. Also, don't completely deprive yourself, it sounds crazy but if you consciously allow some of the bad foods you want, you will stop craving them. For example, I can now eat one small square of chocolate with my fruit, to make it feel more like dessert. Good luck!
  • jessmomof3
    jessmomof3 Posts: 4,590 Member
    Planning ahead works for me. I fill out most of my food diary in the morning so I can see where I might be lacking in something (too many carbs, too much fat... whatever, and then I can make changes *before* I've eaten it).

    I don't eat fast food hardly ever. Watch Super Size Me and you'll never want to eat McD's again. Pack healthy foods, keep things like almonds or healthy bars in your purse or your car. Don't make excuses. If you *forget* your breakfast or lunch, then drive to the store and get something healthy. It's not any different than driving to McD's. (and more than likely cheaper too!). If you are going out to eat at a restaurant, then look up their nutritional information *before* going. And if you struggle w/ food around the house, then don't buy it!!! I know you said your bf eats the junk, so if he's eating something tempting then leave the room! Or maybe talk to him about the foods he is eating and how it makes you awnt to eat them and you are trying to eat healthier.

    Learn to love healthy foods. Try a new fruit or veggie. Don't think about what you *can't* eat but think about what you *can* eat. Also, if it's the convenience, then buy the veggies that are already cut up (more expensive than chopping your own, but still cheaper and better than junk!).

    And for me, I just don't eat white *crack*. Aka, white flour or white sugar. I am a former binger myself and I know my *trigger* foods. Those white foods make me crave more and more. Once you start, much harder to stop. I have been eating *clean* and healthy for a good 5 years now and it has made a HUGE difference in not only my appearance but how I feel! Good luck, you can do it!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    I know that I really need to stay away from the white sugar and flour.. that has got to be my biggest vice. I hate that everything has bleached/un-bleached enriched flours in it (AKA bad for you).. and they're more often than not loaded with sugar or high fructose corn syrup... I feel like the grocery store is the enemy because everything ingredients listing I read more than likely contains something I know that I shouldn't have. When you are someone who is watching what they eat and limiting certain ingredients your choices at the supermarket are quite limited.. I have found that I really need to stick with basic foods and unfortunately those tend to be more inconvenient than the processed bad-for-you foods. It's a pain. And I really need to just convince myself to get over it and stop being so lazy!
  • aleighk
    aleighk Posts: 3
    its easy to just say forget it & go for all that overly processed good tasting food. gotta stay focused and keep in mind of all the reasons for being healthy and fit. its the only body you have, so putting natural healthy stuff should seem logical right? wish it was that easy. perseverance is important, never give up. i am there too. i am a complete sugar addict & have very little will power to stop myself. and i am on day two of this healthy life style change... good so far but its so early. old habits die hard, but they are possible to get rid of. back in march i quit smoking, all sodas & coffee and have successfully not had any slip ups. so it can be done. sugar is prolly my largest addiction... FOCUS!:smile:
  • Bikeminx
    Bikeminx Posts: 51
    I'm quite a lot the same! My tips would be to buy food which is healthy or healthier, healthier is key because if you really can't do without a sugary snack, buy some cereal bars or some snack packs of fruit or mini size chocolate. That way instead of having a huge chocolate bar like you normally would you will have half of the normal portion size, or something a bit better for you than your usual choice.

    My other great tip if you're very lazy like me, is to by ready made food, instead of ordering take out buy weight watchers or an equivalent make of ready meal. 5 mins and it's done and it's a lot better than a take our pizza or other things we usually grab to eat quickly.

    Bought pots of ready prepped veggies to dip in hummus, pots of fruit salad, low fat yoghurts, soup is AMAZING for a quick lazy meal. Anything that will save you time and stop you thinking of a quick unhealthy option, get a quick healthier option instead.
  • rundgrenfan
    rundgrenfan Posts: 211
    I'm exactly the same way. I have a tendency to finish up my kids' breakfasts in the morning, just to get something in and not waste it.

    But now I've decided to just be hungry until I have time to fix a proper meal for myself, or to have something ready to go if I can't cook. And when we think about eating out, I plan it out in the morning on the computer. Sometimes I have all my calories logged by 10 am before I've eaten lunch and dinner and it makes me feel confident for the day, like I don't need to think about food anymore.

    Good luck! We have tons of junk around here, too, and I save calories for the really good stuff!
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    It is a very good idea if you're hungry to wait until you can prepare yourself a proper meal.. but for me; I find that if I'm starving that I can't make it through the preparation without snacking on something. I don't know why I seem to not be able to control my hand to mouth movements lol.. it's very irritating however.. hopefully with time I can learn to have more patience and willpower... let's just cross our fingers shall we? lol
  • mizfit
    mizfit Posts: 118
    It is a very good idea if you're hungry to wait until you can prepare yourself a proper meal.. but for me; I find that if I'm starving that I can't make it through the preparation without snacking on something. I don't know why I seem to not be able to control my hand to mouth movements lol.. it's very irritating however.. hopefully with time I can learn to have more patience and willpower... let's just cross our fingers shall we? lol
    [/quote


    Hello:

    Not sure if you know about it or not but there is a thread called "support for binge eating disorder" that may be of assistance to you. Just click on the search button and type in those words and you will see the thread.
    Hope this helps. Good luck and don't give up.
  • bmuelling07
    bmuelling07 Posts: 23
    Thank you! I'll check that out right away. Hopefully I can find the help I need to get on track. Thanks again! :o)
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