Not feeling to hot right now

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Hi guys. I haven't been on here for a few days but lately I've been feeling rather low.
I am stuck in a bad cycle and keep talking myself out of doing all the things that will help me lose weight.
I don't know why I let myself be this way and really want to get in shape. I don't know it's just hard and I don't know where to find any local support. I am going to a nutritionist but it's not helping because I'm sabatoging myself.

What do you do to make yourself care enough to make a huge lifestyle change. I just want to feel happy with who I am and the truth is I'm not. I feel fat and ugly and I hate it. What makes it even harder is that my self esteem has been crushed already from years of bullying in public school.

Do you guys know what can help me feel better about who I am and what could make me stay on the right track with dieting.
I know things in this post are going in all different directions but I'm just really upset with myself right now. Whenever I say that I am going to get healthy and quit drinking all the sodas and eating too much and the wrong thing I only last like a day and then I wind up messing things up. Maybe I'm just not supposed to be one of those slim pretty girls.

Replies

  • mapenguinkeeper
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    Gotta change that inner dialogue and I KNOW it's tough. I didn't have weight issues until very recently, but I had a horrifying, transient, abusive and neglectful childhood. I've spent YEARS in therapy changing that inner dialogue learned from my parents that I wasn't " " enough (insert any word you choose - pretty, smart, funny, friendly, quiet). I was actually berated by my mother for getting good grades and going to college (on my own dime) b/c I "thought I was better than my family," for going.

    So, the inner dialogue creeps in more than I'd like to admit, but you know what? :noway: I literally shake my head and say out loud "get out of my head." Luckily this doesn't happen at work :embarassed: but my husband has told me I regularly say it in my sleep (which is where this happens MOST often). I've also been known to swing a few punches in my sleep to get them out of my head. After I shake that dialogue loose I visualize all the good I've had in my life since leaving my family. Married 30 years - same guy. Healthy, smart PhD son. A series of high paying, sometime nice jobs, although the one I have now is BEYOND blissful. Adequate health and insurance to cover when it is not. 3 beautiful houses (not at the same time). Cars of my dreams and vacations around the world. I've even sent money to my siblings in need. As soon as I start visualizing these positives, that inner dialogue just melts away.

    Finally, small changes. drink 1 less soda today. walk the stairs at work. eat a piece of fruit instead of candy bar. When I started my new job in June I could barely make it around the block w/o heavy breathing and sweating. I just got back from a 2.5 mile walk I finished in 32 minutes. NO heavy breathing and minimal sweating. Little steps at a time and be proud of each one.:flowerforyou:
  • Wannabeslim2811
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    Fantastic advice above...I am in exactly the same place and I think it's a case of just making your mind up and giving it all you have. I can't offer too much advice as I am not where I wanna be yet but people on here have been amazing, and so supportive. Just don't give up, stick with it, you can do it :)
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
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    I am sorry that you are not feeling great right now, but believe me everyone has those moments. You can and are a pretty girl even if you don't feel that way right now.

    Making a huge lifestyle change for you may need to come in hindsight - meaning you may need to just concentrate on making small changes one at a time. Maybe start with limiting the number of sodas you have daily and them just cutting out one type of junk food, think of each change as a step. If you step backwards that's okay – that is what life is all about! You are not messing things up, you may just be taking on too much, be easier on yourself! It will pay off.

    Self esteem changes will come, try not to dwell on the past and look at your good points :wink:
  • angie007az
    angie007az Posts: 406 Member
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    I joined Dietbet and that seemed to help. We are taking a cruise in April, so that is my goal... to look nice for the pictures. You can do it. You just have to care enough about yourself. Visit this site often. Make it a habit. You can find lots of support here.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
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    You have to like yourself. I know it sounds corny but it's true.

    Fill your soul. What do you enjoy (besides food)? I had stopped doing things i enjoyed when i was down on myself. Try new things, you'll meet people and may find a new hobby you love.
  • lambchoplewis
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    Make TODAY your best friend and kick tomorrow to the curb!!!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    On those days you feel like Jabba the Hut those are the days you need to do something nice for yourself or for someone else. You cant wallow in the fat and ugly pitty party.

    I've done it for years and the only one who it hurts is me. Hiding is never any fun and you can catch it now before you regret not doing anything in your 20's. First, no one cares. Sorry to say this but no one will give any sort of notice to how you feel. The only one who is being hurt by this is you. Second, by getting out of there doing something minimum for yourself take a long bath or buy that expensive perfume you can change that mindset.

    Compliment someone...I dont know why but this works for me. Then you turn it around and even if you feel like it's a total lie say I'm a damn sexy woman today.

    Age will help too the more experiences you make and the more things you accomplish it helps that self esteem so much. Dont hide girly push forward even though some days youll feel like burying yourself...dont do it. It's painful like exercise hurts, but in the end serves you more than anything.
  • theopenforum
    theopenforum Posts: 280 Member
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    gotta agree with all my MFP peeps. You are 100% self sabotaging yourself. You are like me, your biggest enemy is your reflection, once you get past that the sky is the limit. For me, it took rock bottom for me to realize I wanted change. I simply had nothing left to lose. So I worked at it and it won't be easy but there is always a way once you get pass your own road blocks. I am here if you need me or if you have any questions :)

    Cheers and cheer up^^ you are the most adorable kitten Ive ever seen :P

    Tof
  • SteveStedge1
    SteveStedge1 Posts: 149 Member
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    As you are just 19 you wont see it yet...but if it makes you feel better I promise you nearly all those people who bullied you and were popular "peaked" in high school and their lives wont amount to ****. I'm 38 and through the wonders of facebook I've got to see all the "popular" kids find out that life doesn't let you just slide by. The karmic wheels of justice grind slowly but exceedingly fine.

    Time to work on you now.
  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
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    what could make me stay on the right track with dieting.

    find things you like to eat that dont interfere with your goals.... keep those ting on hand at all times... stop buying trigger foods and convenience foods...

    you need to try things... not learn to like crap that other people tell you is "healthy".. you wont learn to like it... itlll suck now and itll suck next week.
  • THECaptainObvious
    THECaptainObvious Posts: 399 Member
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    You are your biggest enemy... Just take it one day at a time and don't let yourself get overwhelmed. I am also off pop (soda as you call it) today is day 17 and every day seems to get easier but there are hard moments! Just know we are all here for you! Feel free to add me
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    For me, it was about changing things slowly. I figured if I tried to do 100 changes at once, I was setting myself up to fail. So i started out but doing a couple things - eating oatmeal for breakfast and a salad WITH every lunch (i would still get what i wanted but always eat the salad first to fill me up before i dug into whatever else). And I did that for a few weeks, and then changed something else... maybe add a 20 minute walk during the day, or eliminate cheese from those salads.

    that's how i am making my changes. and, though it's taking a long time (almost 2 years, i think), it has done a couple things 1) given me small things to feel good about. making small, positive changes and sticking with them did make me feel better and b) set me up for success because i have made it easy on myself my turning the changes into habits.

    As far as the self-talk, I wish there was an easy way to go about that. i think a lot of people on here struggle with that.
  • BossLadyDSimp
    BossLadyDSimp Posts: 257 Member
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    bump
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    I personally pick one specific thing to focus on. I find that if I don't have a clear, measurable goal, I get overwhelmed with trying to do too much and I end up failing and feeling awful. Asking what will help you stick to your diet is entirely too broad. Pick one small goal to work towards per week, and as long as you do that, don't worry about the rest of it and don't beat yourself up if you screw up in other areas. And don't make it something you have to do ALL seven days. Start with a lower, realistic number. And if you end up doing it more often than your goal, that's just an extra achievement you an count for that week. Here are a few suggestions:

    1. Exercise two days for at least 20 minutes. Any kind of exercise you want.
    2. Drink 6-8 glasses of water three days this week.
    3. Replace two sweets with healthy fruits or veggies.
    4. Try one new, healthy recipe you find online this week.

    I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is that we focus on the day to day mistakes. Nobody who is losing weight is awesome at everything every single day.
  • lighteningjeanne855
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    There's an old saying:
    "Inch by inch, anything's a cinch (easy).
    Yard by yard, it's HARD!"

    Take small steps, day by day, and week by week.
    You could take inventory of the dietary habits you need to change:
    fast food dinners
    sugary drinks
    foods with High Fructose Corn Syrup
    Foods that make you crazy to binge, such as
    bread, potatoes, cheese, etc.

    After conquering one problem food or habit,
    move on to the next.


    Baby steps.
    Inch by inch.
    You are worthy of success:
    health,
    fitness,
    improved self-image,
    and all the adventures you could ever attempt.

    One day at a time.
    If one day is difficult, log in your foods, anyway.
    Start fresh the following day.

    Read the forums about Success and Maintenance
    for inspiration along the way.
    Best wishes!
  • Smdgrad11
    Smdgrad11 Posts: 11 Member
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    Thank you all for your ideas and support. I really appreciate it!
    Having read these responses I think I have an idea of what I will put as my goal for this week. With that being said I do have another question to ask. I am going to the movies this weekend with my sister, what do you think would help with making good choices in movie snacks? Should I just wait till friday to think about this or should I try to plan it out now. From what you guys have said about taking it one step at a time I'm thinking maybe I will just see how the rest of the week goes and then focus on the movie night.
  • theopenforum
    theopenforum Posts: 280 Member
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    uhh yeh I'd just watch the movie; does a snack need to be involved? I don't really know your body type or goals or caloric intake so it would be hard to say but I think most will agree to just skip the snack and enjoy the movie :)

    With that being said, can I go? lol ^_^

    Cheers
  • THECaptainObvious
    THECaptainObvious Posts: 399 Member
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    You could sneak a healthy snack in if you need to munch on something during the movie.. And can I come??? What are we seeing? lol
  • ladytiburona
    ladytiburona Posts: 17 Member
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    I'm just starting again and this is my first post. I started in January of last year and stopped because I didn't think it was feasible to watch calories while feeding my family. I have since found this to be false.

    I started tracking again September 30th. I've learned through reading posts. I track all my food, but include indulgences within my allowed intake (usually muddie buddies and greek yogurt). Don't feel down on yourself. YOU are here. YOU want to make a change and that's a big step.

    I also agree with doing something good for yourself. I lost five pounds last month and I was elated. (I only weigh once a month because otherwise I focus too much on the scale.)

    To help stay in a good frame of mind, I've rearranged my work office, started getting food from Community Supported Agriculture and went to a Mary Kay facial.

    Rearranging the work office made me feel good because of all the work I accomplished.

    Getting food from local farmers is a good thing because it supports the community I live in and because it reminds me of my grandfather's garden.

    The Mary Kay facial was superb and I felt pretty again afterwards. I've even started wearing a little more color with my make up.

    As others have said, take it step by step. Take delight in small victories.

    It's a new skirt, a stuffed animal, a CD... it's finding I'm happier preparing my own food than eating out... it's learning to spend time with friends and family preparing food, shopping and talking.

    Every journey begins with a single step. YOU are worth the journey.
  • shadowkat57
    shadowkat57 Posts: 151 Member
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    Sometimes, I find nerding it up can help - stop thinking about good foods and bad foods, attractiveness etc and start seeing your body as a machine. The more exercise you do, the better your machine works - it gets stronger, faster, more flexible, more efficient. Concentrate on feeling how your machine is working, and registering the improvements.
    Food fuels your machine. Carbs before exercise give you energy, protein afterwards helps you build muscle. Give your machine the fuel it needs to perform at an optimal level.
    Basically, take the emotion out of the equation. Eating/weight etc is such an emotional thing, we sabotage ourselves so easily - so stepping away from thjat cycle of thinking can be quite helpful.