"big boned"

Coming from an overweight family and being overweight for as long as I can remember My dad was 6' and weighed 350ish pounds My mom is 5'2 300ish I have poor eating habits since childhood (parent always gave food to keep us busy/quiet) even poorer cooking habits. Im not really an over eater I used to be an emotional eater but not so much now that I am older. My first question is about certain body builds such as you hear people say all the time "big boned" I'm trying to figure out how to determine my for ideal body weight I am built more like my dad than my mom. I am 5'3 about 281 pounds so pretty close to my mom but I am smaller than her she wears a 28 where I where a 22 I also know it comes down to body shape as well such as she has a flat butt and I have a bubble butt lol and my shoulder are wider than hers. Thoughts??
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Replies

  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    The only real way to find out if you are "big boned" or "wide framed" is to lose weight. Set a goal at the high end of your healthy BMI and see if you are happy at that weight. I thought at 190 I was "big boned" or "broad", but after losing 45lbs I found out I wasn't. I wasn't happy at the high end of my BMI and ended up at 147 (I'm 5'11) which is a 20.5 BMI.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Coming from an overweight family and being overweight for as long as I can remember My dad was 6' and weighed 350ish pounds My mom is 5'2 300ish I have poor eating habits since childhood (parent always gave food to keep us busy/quiet) even poorer cooking habits. Im not really an over eater I used to be an emotional eater but not so much now that I am older. My first question is about certain body builds such as you hear people say all the time "big boned" I'm trying to figure out how to determine my for ideal body weight I am built more like my dad than my mom. I am 5'3 about 281 pounds so pretty close to my mom but I am smaller than her she wears a 28 where I where a 22 I also know it comes down to body shape as well such as she has a flat butt and I have a bubble butt lol and my shoulder are wider than hers. Thoughts??

    I wouldn't worry too much about your build and body shape... Just focus on losing weight for now!
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    You've got about 150 lbs to lose so I wouldn't be worried yet about your bone structure. In general, there is very little variance between skeletal weight of women of the same height.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    I always thought big boned was talking about the actual bones ;) People have different shaped skeletons to a degree. Wide or otherwise big skeletons hold more lean mass, so that person's body is going to weigh more. This is all completely before talking about fat at all. I do think it's true that big boned people probably have more muscle, just because of the shape of things, but I don't think butt shape or similar would be a sign.

    I found out I am in fact 'big-boned' even though I have small wrists. That is usually how you are supposed to tell. Well, my wrists don't fit my torso, then, because my torso is very wide. You can't really tell that unless you can see the bones, I don't think. Because my torso is wide, my ribs are visible even though my BF% isn't low. And my shoulders are very broad, like the actual skeleture, not just the size I happen to wear at any time. The problem with telling is that fat adds width, too, of course :)

    edit: if it helps anyone visualize, my bra band size doesn't get below 38", with ribs there fully visible and no 'back fat'. Most women wear a lower band size unless they are carrying extra fat around the ribs there.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Bones are all basically the same size. Some people may have broader shoulders or wider hips, etc, but the bone sizes are basically the same. So all this talk about body type/shape is generally a load of crap, and most often used by people who are making excuses or trying to justify something.

    Just focus on eating right and getting some exercise. It's impossible to know your ideal body weight until you get there. I've changed my ideal weight several times already and I'm within 20lbs of where I want to be. Then at some point I said the hell with a target body weight, I want to get leaner, stronger, and faster... the scale can read whatever it wants to.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I agree with the others, may as well just lose weight and see what's what, when you are closer to your first or final goals...doesn't really matter until then.

    I grew up thinking I was "big boned" because for a lot of people that's a "nice way" to say BIG. In any way...tall, wide, heavy, etc. I was 5'8" and over 200 lb even in my early teens, so I was always taller and bigger than most of my friends, but I have tiny wrists, hands, feet. My dad was 6'4" and 250-ish most of my life and has only recently gotten smaller. My mom is 5'6" and a pear shape with narrow shoulders. I'm more of an hourglass. I really don't think I am big boned. But at 5'8" I am never going to be small/petite even if I do wind up becoming rather thin in the future.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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  • bellaa_x0
    bellaa_x0 Posts: 1,062 Member
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  • Getawayfromthecake
    Getawayfromthecake Posts: 124 Member
    genuinely believe I am big boned. Although I'm 171 lb and 5'7 which is still classed as overweight, my ribs and hip bones are quite defined. I also have huge feet and my actual pelvis is quite wide. But I don't think this should make much difference to weight loss, I still intend to get to my recommended weight.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I am "large framed".


    But really don't worry about it yet.
  • MikaMojito
    MikaMojito Posts: 680 Member
    I'm 5'6'' and I just measured my wrists - 7 inch. That puts me in the large body frame group which isn't terribly surprising. I also have man-sized feet and hands, wide shoulders and hips.

    I remember being able to see my hipbones at ribs when I was 16 and I was still 10kg heavier than other girls my height.

    Now I'm very definitely overweight but nobody ever believes I'm only JUST not obese anymore. Because of my frame I can get away with more weight. Doesn't make it any prettier or healthier.
  • jimshine
    jimshine Posts: 199 Member
    I agree that you need to lose weight and see what is underneath. The measurements only tell so much, and no two people are exactly alike.

    I was always told I was big boned, and it is only partially true. My arms, hands, and legs are very average to maybe even being on the long and skinny side. No hips, no butt. When I was 6' 2" 300 pounds, my waist was only 36 inches. But my ribcage and shoulders are larger than my hips. My ribs are now starting to be exposed, so it isn't fat. My body shape is like a Yield sign on a pole...lol.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    Bones are all basically the same size. Some people may have broader shoulders or wider hips, etc, but the bone sizes are basically the same. So all this talk about body type/shape is generally a load of crap, and most often used by people who are making excuses or trying to justify something.

    Just focus on eating right and getting some exercise. It's impossible to know your ideal body weight until you get there. I've changed my ideal weight several times already and I'm within 20lbs of where I want to be. Then at some point I said the hell with a target body weight, I want to get leaner, stronger, and faster... the scale can read whatever it wants to.
    THIS. Also don't buy into the somatotyping that a lot of fitness trainers out there want you to believe.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    I'm 5'6'' and I just measured my wrists - 7 inch. That puts me in the large body frame group which isn't terribly surprising. I also have man-sized feet and hands, wide shoulders and hips.

    The whole wrist measurement thing is flawed. If you're overweight you'll have fat wrists. If you're stick thin you'll have smaller wrists. It just doesn't work.

    People tell me I'm tiny because I'm really narrow across the hips and shoulders but I'm wide from front to back. Someone mentioned bra band size. I'm "tiny" but my bra band is 36" so not so tiny really. You can't judge your what you weight should be based on your bone structure or your perception of what your bone structure is.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    I do weigh a bit more than slim girls of my height when I'm slim, and I'd expect to. It's not much, but I don't think there's anything wrong in some folks weighing a bit more than others. I know people use it an excuse, but that doesn't mean it's not a rational idea.

    When I was in high school, I tried to weigh what other girls of my height weighed who were my friends, because it was the data I had available. That goes really well with me trying to weigh what my Vietnamese pal weighed ;) No matter that our actual builds looked entirely different! I really thought I must be huge, like fat, because I weighed more by more than a few pounds.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You have to measure your wrist. Six inches is average, five inches is small-framed, and 7 inches is big-boned.

    I'm just under 6 ft tall with a 6.5 inch wrist which puts me above average, but not quite big-boned.

    It's possible that you are big-boned, but in my experience, it usually tends to occur with taller individuals, due to porportions.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Bones are all basically the same size. Some people may have broader shoulders or wider hips, etc, but the bone sizes are basically the same. So all this talk about body type/shape is generally a load of crap, and most often used by people who are making excuses or trying to justify something.

    Just focus on eating right and getting some exercise. It's impossible to know your ideal body weight until you get there. I've changed my ideal weight several times already and I'm within 20lbs of where I want to be. Then at some point I said the hell with a target body weight, I want to get leaner, stronger, and faster... the scale can read whatever it wants to.

    If all bones were the same size then how can they be wider or broader?? And how could one person be taller than another. Bones come in different sizes.

    The second paragraph is pretty good advice though.

    OP, if you are talking about your ideal healthy weight, then that too can be hard to nail down, but will have more to do with how much muscle vs fat you have for your height, than with your bone structure. That's why charts always have a range.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    As you lose weight you will figure out your bone structure. Weight has nothing to do with bone structure either. Be patient.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm 5'6'' and I just measured my wrists - 7 inch. That puts me in the large body frame group which isn't terribly surprising. I also have man-sized feet and hands, wide shoulders and hips.

    The whole wrist measurement thing is flawed. If you're overweight you'll have fat wrists. If you're stick thin you'll have smaller wrists. It just doesn't work.

    People tell me I'm tiny because I'm really narrow across the hips and shoulders but I'm wide from front to back. Someone mentioned bra band size. I'm "tiny" but my bra band is 36" so not so tiny really. You can't judge your what you weight should be based on your bone structure or your perception of what your bone structure is.

    I lost 90 lbs. My wrist is the same size now as it was then.

    I suppose this might be a concern for the extreme morbidly obese. But I was 300+ when I started losing.
  • Quieau
    Quieau Posts: 428 Member
    The wrist measuring is not flawed if you have bony wrists. I am very overweight but my ankles and wrists have bones sticking out on both sides of each. My wrist measures 7.25" around (again, bone to bone, no fat there) and my feet are size 11-12 medium width (not wide --- I have high insteps but my feet are not fat). I am 5'9" and BIG BONED.

    But I also happen to be fat/overweight. The fact that I am big boned doesn't negate the fat, but it does inform my "goal weight" which will not be on the lower end of the scale.

    Also, bone density can play a part. You really have to decide with your doc once you're close(r) to goal and know what you're dealing with, I think ...
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    Bones are all basically the same size. Some people may have broader shoulders or wider hips, etc, but the bone sizes are basically the same. So all this talk about body type/shape is generally a load of crap, and most often used by people who are making excuses or trying to justify something.

    Just focus on eating right and getting some exercise. It's impossible to know your ideal body weight until you get there. I've changed my ideal weight several times already and I'm within 20lbs of where I want to be. Then at some point I said the hell with a target body weight, I want to get leaner, stronger, and faster... the scale can read whatever it wants to.

    This. And don't worry about your frame size. I always thought I have a large frame/was big boned and it was really just an excuse to stay fatter than I ought to be. Good luck!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    All the bones I played with in nursing school were about the same size.


    That sounded really bad.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    All the bones I played with in nursing school were about the same size.


    That sounded really bad.

    was your playing limited to the classroom?
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
    Different people's bones are not basically the same size. My husband is 6ft 5in, with a 48" inch chest and his bone structure is drastically different from mine, for example. He really is "big boned", though he's not carrying much fat at all. We have a 15-year-old son who is 6 ft 1 inch, but he's very lean, with my long slim fine-boned structure (even though I am carrying a bit of extra weight on it.) So there is such a thing as being 'big-boned" but I think it's often used incorrectly as an excuse for being overweight.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    Bones are all basically the same size. Some people may have broader shoulders or wider hips, etc, but the bone sizes are basically the same. So all this talk about body type/shape is generally a load of crap, and most often used by people who are making excuses or trying to justify something.

    Just focus on eating right and getting some exercise. It's impossible to know your ideal body weight until you get there. I've changed my ideal weight several times already and I'm within 20lbs of where I want to be. Then at some point I said the hell with a target body weight, I want to get leaner, stronger, and faster... the scale can read whatever it wants to.

    If all bones were the same size then how can they be wider or broader?? And how could one person be taller than another. Bones come in different sizes.

    The second paragraph is pretty good advice though.

    OP, if you are talking about your ideal healthy weight, then that too can be hard to nail down, but will have more to do with how much muscle vs fat you have for your height, than with your bone structure. That's why charts always have a range.
    Bones come in different lengths, but when you average out the circumference based on the frame, they are all pretty much equal in percentages. If I was 4" taller with the same frame, my bone circumference would slightly increase, but the percentages of circumference vs length would still be the same.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    All the bones I played with in nursing school were about the same size.


    That sounded really bad.

    I really have a problem with this logic. There is no way that the femur of the OP (who is 5'2") is the same length and size of my femur (5'11.75").

    Additionally, bones change over time. They shrink with the depletion of calcium.

    Perhaps, the bones you were working with were all specimens of a similar age and height.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    All the bones I played with in nursing school were about the same size.


    That sounded really bad.

    I really have a problem with this logic. There is no way that the femur of the OP (who is 5'2") is the same length and size of my femur (5'11.75").

    Additionally, bones change over time. They shrink with the depletion of calcium.

    Perhaps, the bones you were working with were all specimens of a similar age and height.

    It could very well be, but I'm glad you took one sentence and ran away with it.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    I am not too knowledgeable on bones.

    But I would imagine if you were 2 ft tall you would have smaller length of bones than someone who was 6ft tall?

    I would also imagine that some can have a larger frame than others?

    Maybe the frame is what the OP is suggesting?

    However, the coating (fat) that covers the frame is the thing that needs the overhaul.

    Too much fat/weight is never a good thing and will cause you health problems.

    Maybe OP you need to focus on losing weight, in your own best interests and forget about bone structure at this moment?

    There are lots of people on MFP and support to help you with weight loss xx
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    All the bones I played with in nursing school were about the same size.


    That sounded really bad.

    I really have a problem with this logic. There is no way that the femur of the OP (who is 5'2") is the same length and size of my femur (5'11.75").

    Additionally, bones change over time. They shrink with the depletion of calcium.

    Perhaps, the bones you were working with were all specimens of a similar age and height.

    It could very well be, but I'm glad you took one sentence and ran away with it.

    Well... several people had made the statement that bones are all the same. I'm just trying to get a grasp of the concept.

    Didn't mean to single you out, but since you stated that you went to nursing school, I thought you might be able to help clarify.

    Sorry if I offended you somehow looking for clarification.