Eating disorders

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LolaDeeDaisy23
LolaDeeDaisy23 Posts: 383 Member
in Motivation and Support
I really don't know where to post this but I need advice. I'm really scared my little sister in law (she's 14) is suffering from anorexia. She's not full blown anorexic. She'll eat small amounts of junk food but anything else, she'll make an excuse to not eat. She doesn't like the food, or she's not hungry, or she'll start a fight so she can leave & not eat.
I know it's because her whole family is always talking about their weight. Her mom (my mother in law) is overweight, complains she's overweight but doesn't do anything about it. My other sister in law is constantly talking about weight because everyone would tell her she could lose a few pounds. Basically all the women on my fiance's side are overweight, & have tried diets such as herbalife etc. It's affecting my little sister. I don't know how to help her? What do I do? She's told me that she thinks she's fat when she's not fat at all. She's 5'2 and 115 pounds which is perfectly healthy. I don't want to tell her about mfp bc I honestly think it could make her eating worse. When I first started mfp, I became very obsessive about tracking & eating. Idk what to do. Help?

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  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
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    Bumping this one for you since I know that there are a lot of people that can give you good advice and ideas on how to deal with the situation. Never been through it myself so I don't feel I am qualified to speak about it.
  • Fit_Lean_Priya
    Fit_Lean_Priya Posts: 164 Member
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    i know what you are talking about, one of my relative was eating one corn for lunch, just tea for breakfast and some soup for dinner, i had hard time telling her to eat to loose weight and everyone thought i don't know what i am saying
  • jazzerciseN
    jazzerciseN Posts: 39
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    It sounds like she is just being very heavily influenced by her surroundings. Kids who see the main women in their lives stressing about weight constantly, will do the same. In more serious cases, will turn to ED's as a way to "control" things. You're in a good situation because she is still so young. The best thing for you to do, is explain to the adults that they should be careful what they are saying to and around her. I know it's awkward to lay it down like that, but you're not going to get anywhere beating around the bush and she's too young to stand up for herself. Next, she should be involved in some sort of self-esteem building activity. City or school programs such as cheer, martial arts, or any type of sports. The activity will keep her weight in check while the comradery and sense of accomplishment will greatly help her self-esteem and self image. Lastly, make sure she always has someone she can be open and honest with. If she feels judged or pressure from people, it will only make it worse. Eating disorders are very secretive. You do it because you think you're in control, when it in fact is controlling you. I hope this helps sweetie!
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    I would bring this to her mom's attention. As a mother it is her responsible to make sure she is eating. She's a minor and technically she doesn't call the shots. Also, I think she needs counseling. At her age, she is probably concerned about her appearance because of the thin obsession of our culture. Everyone feels like they have to lose some weight. Talking to a counselor/psychologist regularly will help her with her self esteem and help her with her body image issues.
  • margherlong
    margherlong Posts: 21 Member
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    I would definitely have a sit down with the all the woman figures in her life and explain this to them. This is a good article to read and reference to : http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/23/moms-daughters-influence-body-image/2690921/

    I can totally relate though, every woman in my family was obsessed with their weight and still are and though I know they didnt mean to project their insecurities on me, it had a lasting effect on me at a young age till now - and no girl needs that with todays society! Especially as the only child that I was - I wish I had someone to step in and explain to them that it wasn't wise. Also I agree to not tell her about mfp, she isn't old enough to understand how to use this to her advantage opposed to negatively .

    Hope this helps! Very sweet of you to reach out and and care.
  • myst036
    myst036 Posts: 19 Member
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    I agree with what she has said. I was a bulimic teen because I was constantly being told that I was fat, and since I wasn't as pretty as my younger sister, it would help if I lost weight. No one had any idea how I should do that, just eat less. It went on for two years, and everyone was telling me how wonderful I looked, and my sister in law would take me clothes shopping.
    We are under such pressure to belong and please those around us that any way we can accomplish it, seems worth it. I passed out at school and they took me to the hospital where the doctor who saw knew what was going on and threatened to put a feeding tube in to my stomach. There was no treatment really at that time, so I struggled to stop on my own.
    I have struggled with weight my entire life and finally have it down pat. She needs to know those around her care, and are not going to belittle her problems because it makes them uncomfortable. Acceptance is important so involvement with others her own age, that are feeling the same pressures she is dealing with will help a lot. I hope it all works out in the end. She deserves you support, and it sounds like she has that. =]
  • PearlAng
    PearlAng Posts: 681 Member
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    This could be a sign that something is forming. When I was her age, I'd eat an 80 calorie yogurt for breakfast, maybe half a Pb and j on white bread for lunch. Then I'd go home and binge on crackers and pretzels and eat a dinner that MAYBE included a veggie. Did this from when I was like 12-16 and finally it manifested into full blown anorexia. I waseating very little calories each day and I thought the food I was eating before was "junk " and most of it was, but I started eating nothing but carrot sticks, broccoli, some celery, etc and that's how I kept my calories so low. One extreme to the other and I'm still trying to find a balance. Maybe you could tell someone your concern?
  • LolaDeeDaisy23
    LolaDeeDaisy23 Posts: 383 Member
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    Thanks girls for your input! I really do believe her mom can do so much more than I can, being that I see my little sister every other weekend & her mom can monitor her food intake. I know it's hard for her to be in that environment when all the women she sees on an everyday basis are trying to lose weight fast in unhealthy ways such as diet pills or weight loss supps. There's only so much I can do but be there when she needs me. I want to bring her focus around health & away from those too skinny girls on tumblr & in other media. I told my fiance he needs to tell his mom & sister to be aware when they're taking about weight. I'll keep you girls updated <3
  • margherlong
    margherlong Posts: 21 Member
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    please do keep us updated :)
  • lauraspberry
    lauraspberry Posts: 655 Member
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    Anorexia is psychological, you have to take her to a shrink. The main problem in anorexia nervosa is how the patient sees herself. Her perception is distorted by her false beliefs about her appearance. Shrinks can help her :) there's no other way, well not unless she snaps out of it. But if she just "snaps out of it" chances are she's gonna do the opposite and gain lots of weight. So, I suggest that you go to a shrink and ask about Occupational Therapy, an occupational therapist can help her about her body image and self-esteem problems, also they can guide her into acquiring a healthy lifestyle, having a balanced diet, engaging in exercise, etc.

    I am an Occupational Therapy student so yeah :) hope this helps :flowerforyou:

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