How to do you handle negative feelings about your body?
Sassyallday
Posts: 136 Member
I have lost weight, slimmed down and learned a lot over the past few months by accepting how much I weigh and addressing it head on. And there’s the rub. A part of me was much happier in denial.
I knew that I was heavy. And I exercised and tried to eat well so as to be fit and healthy and to keep the scale from moving up. But this time, I am trying to get the scale to go down and achieve even greater fitness. But the more aware I am of my body and what I need to work on, the more painful it is. I now notice that, in many situations, I am the largest person in the room. I may have been before and not even noticed it! While I am aware of my achievements, I am also aware of how much farther I have to go.
I am well groomed and feel good about my appearance when I go out. I am happy with my professional status. I have an active social life with good relationships with family and friends. Some days, after a great workout or some new lingerie or a lipstick, I feel great. But other days, I look in the mirror and feel like a failure. How do you push through any negative feelings you may have about yourself?
I knew that I was heavy. And I exercised and tried to eat well so as to be fit and healthy and to keep the scale from moving up. But this time, I am trying to get the scale to go down and achieve even greater fitness. But the more aware I am of my body and what I need to work on, the more painful it is. I now notice that, in many situations, I am the largest person in the room. I may have been before and not even noticed it! While I am aware of my achievements, I am also aware of how much farther I have to go.
I am well groomed and feel good about my appearance when I go out. I am happy with my professional status. I have an active social life with good relationships with family and friends. Some days, after a great workout or some new lingerie or a lipstick, I feel great. But other days, I look in the mirror and feel like a failure. How do you push through any negative feelings you may have about yourself?
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Replies
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You need to keep telling yourself "yeah! I look good". Even though hey I know I could look better, I know I look good now and more importantly I feel good. Just keep up the good work and live the healthy lifestyle.0
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In for advice ... I have always had the negative feelings. The weight gain has just made them worse :frown:0
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I eat.
Oh wait! That's what got me into this mess to begin with.
Whenever I feel that way, I break out my "before" pic and say to myself, "Dang! Look how far I've come! My stomach/face/whatever-is-bothering-me-that-day is a whole lot smaller than it was then."
Focus on how far you've come, not how much farther you still have to go.
Good luck and keep at it!0 -
I know how you feel! Once weight is lost you find you
self closely scrutinising and finding more faults than when you were happily not doing anything about your weight!
1/ gratitude: I have a healthy body all limbs working, I have five senses no disabilities!
2/ i must look better i am in smaller clothes i must look slimmer!
3/ dont be so ridiculous scrutinising every skin pore!
Its all in the mind
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helps to focus on one thing that you do like. accentuate it. appreciate it. focus on that and not everything you don't like at the moment. silver lining kinda deal0
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It's true! What I WANT to do is just go back to eating- - -for the comfort and familiarity. But I reallllly don't want the results.
I'll keep working at keeping my mind over the matter of my weight. And focus on the good. Gratitude does help keep a positive perspective.0 -
I understand. I have been in the dressing room in tears because all the nice, pretty outfits don't fit or look good on me due to the rolls and/or bulges. This time around I have changed my focus from my physical appearance to how my body feels on the inside. I feel a little improvement in my energy, attitude and outlook. While focusing on the stuff on the inside, I'm hoping that I will eventually get to a place where I feel more comfortable in my own skin.0
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Like a lot of situations in our lives we tend to dive in to the water after observing from the surface only to find a torrent underneath that we either sink or swim with. Its not abnormal for humankind to wish for what they felt was more "comfortable" in the past, therefore resisting change. However, you are never given more than you can handle in life, and so long as you believe in the perception of change and growth being better for you than stagnating in the past; then you will find fulfillment in your journey.
Hang on, keep going. Know that you are loved. 0 -
helps to focus on one thing that you do like. accentuate it. appreciate it. focus on that and not everything you don't like at the moment. silver lining kinda deal
This is good advice.
I still struggle with negative feelings. When I do, I try to remind myself how hard I've worked and how far I've come. If I don't have access to my laptop to see my progress pictures, I'll go into the bathroom and take a quick look at my stomach (that's what has changed the most and I'm most proud of), and that usually gives me a quick boost. Hopefully we'll all reach a point where we can just be proud of our hard work and the negative feelings will decrease or stop altogether.0 -
Man-oh-man
Dressing room tears
Gosh, that brings back memories! I havent been inside of a dressing room since 2008 for that exact reason. I just buy the clothes and hope I like them/they fit
I, too, struggle with body image/negative thoughts/being a debbie downer
I am my own worst critic; I give myself NO SLACK when I'm in "go mode"
I miss my denial, but after almost bursting out of my size 20's, denial was no longer an option...size 22 was a mental awakening for me.
I actually lost about 34lbs and was looking trimmer and feeling good and my husband hadnt said anything to me about it. I caught him looking at me appreciatively a few times, but no congrats or good job or anything
So I ate. It made me feel better.
I avoided the scale. I didnt want to know how much I was gaining.
I watched my size 18s become too small and my 20s get snug again.
and I ate. Until I didnt feel better anymore. I felt like crap.
So, I sat my husband down and had that hard convo about helping me lose weight by commenting/complimenting the changes
Weight has been a taboo subject between us for 11 years and I just kept getting bigger...He said he saw me struggle and didnt want to tell me how awesome I looked and make me feel like I was less awesome 34lbs heavier...He wanted to just love me and not say the wrong thing but that he was rooting for me silently
Now that I have forced myself back on track, I encourage myself my telling myself that I am working on it. That I am in control now instead of being just a bystander, watching the disaster happen.
I tend to look at my thighs a lot (its the first place I lose weight) and see how they are slimming.
Or I walk fast and say to myself (you know, you couldnt move that fast)
Or I lift heavier at the gym and say "youre strong like bull, not weak like fatazz"
Or I do zumba and all the hip rolling and booty shaking makes me feel sexier (especially since hubby sits on the couch behind me, smiling all the time :blushing: )
You can do this. Just like we break ourselves down, we have to build ourselves up!
"changes the voices inside your head; make them like you instead" --p!nk0 -
It's not something I can actually handle well
Honestly, I try to aim for AT LEAST 1200 cals a day, but when the negativity kicks in, I freak out about eating that much. And it's not even that much. WTF, self. 0 -
Man-oh-man
Dressing room tears
Gosh, that brings back memories! I havent been inside of a dressing room since 2008 for that exact reason. I just buy the clothes and hope I like them/they fit
I, too, struggle with body image/negative thoughts/being a debbie downer
I am my own worst critic; I give myself NO SLACK when I'm in "go mode"
I miss my denial, but after almost bursting out of my size 20's, denial was no longer an option...size 22 was a mental awakening for me.
I actually lost about 34lbs and was looking trimmer and feeling good and my husband hadnt said anything to me about it. I caught him looking at me appreciatively a few times, but no congrats or good job or anything
So I ate. It made me feel better.
I avoided the scale. I didnt want to know how much I was gaining.
I watched my size 18s become too small and my 20s get snug again.
and I ate. Until I didnt feel better anymore. I felt like crap.
So, I sat my husband down and had that hard convo about helping me lose weight by commenting/complimenting the changes
Weight has been a taboo subject between us for 11 years and I just kept getting bigger...He said he saw me struggle and didnt want to tell me how awesome I looked and make me feel like I was less awesome 34lbs heavier...He wanted to just love me and not say the wrong thing but that he was rooting for me silently
Now that I have forced myself back on track, I encourage myself my telling myself that I am working on it. That I am in control now instead of being just a bystander, watching the disaster happen.
I tend to look at my thighs a lot (its the first place I lose weight) and see how they are slimming.
Or I walk fast and say to myself (you know, you couldnt move that fast)
Or I lift heavier at the gym and say "youre strong like bull, not weak like fatazz"
Or I do zumba and all the hip rolling and booty shaking makes me feel sexier (especially since hubby sits on the couch behind me, smiling all the time :blushing: )
You can do this. Just like we break ourselves down, we have to build ourselves up!
"changes the voices inside your head; make them like you instead" --p!nk
You are awesome! I love this post X 100
Also, I understand the ol' dressing room tears and fears. I would not use the dressing room at Target for about 6 years until recently. Crazy angles giving me a complex in there.0 -
I have lost weight, slimmed down and learned a lot over the past few months by accepting how much I weigh and addressing it head on. And there’s the rub. A part of me was much happier in denial.
I knew that I was heavy. And I exercised and tried to eat well so as to be fit and healthy and to keep the scale from moving up. But this time, I am trying to get the scale to go down and achieve even greater fitness. But the more aware I am of my body and what I need to work on, the more painful it is. I now notice that, in many situations, I am the largest person in the room. I may have been before and not even noticed it! While I am aware of my achievements, I am also aware of how much farther I have to go.
I am well groomed and feel good about my appearance when I go out. I am happy with my professional status. I have an active social life with good relationships with family and friends. Some days, after a great workout or some new lingerie or a lipstick, I feel great. But other days, I look in the mirror and feel like a failure. How do you push through any negative feelings you may have about yourself?
It is hard! It has taken me almost 2 years to lose 37lbs, and the weight comes off very slowly. One thing that I started doing by accident has helped quite a bit, I take monthly progress pictures. It started as a way to prove that working with a PT was worth the $$, and it ended up being so much more.
this is several months of my early progress
Untitled by crochetmom2010, on Flickr
One very wise man taught me that it is OK to see your flaws, but you also need to see the positive changes.
*I still have a big belly, but my thighs ( front and back) are awesome.
*My triceps still jiggle a bit, but less than before, and I have bicep definition.
*I'm clinically obese. I have 45lbs to lose to be just above normal BMI...but I have obliques, and if I flex, my top abs are starting to come in.
I'm not saying that I don't look in the mirror in dance class and think I look like a dancing teletubby, because I do. But it doesn't bother me as much. The same very wise man who taught me to pick out my positive changes looked at me a few months ago and told me that I BLOW HIS MIND with the way my body has changed. It means a lot to me because he's a hot 25yo man, and I am an obese 38yo woman.0 -
For me, I've learned to cope with what i perceive as deficiencies, but I don't think I will ever have confidence about it. More like, I tolerate it.0
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It's negative self talk. We all do it and I doubt it'll go away just because you lose weight. I think the most important thing is to be aware of it. Just because you're saying it to yoursef doesn't make it true. We assume all our self talk is true and it's not. Next time you find yourself doing this -STOP! Try to look at yourself the way you would look at a friend. You wouldn't talk to a friend that way and you wouldn't think about a friend that way either. Be your own friend and love yourself. It takes practice and patience. You will mess up but you just have to keep at it. Love your body- it's never going to be perfect but it's yours.0
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I understand the negative feelings. I just started so I have a long way to go, as I would like to lose 100lbs. The hardest part for me will be continuing to lose weight when I only see a little bit of improvement. The advice I have is to change your mindset about yourself. This is not easy, and I am still working on this. I was not buying new clothes, wearing the things likes, etc. because I was waiting until I lost weight. But I realized that not doing those things made me feel less beautiful. So, I decided that everyday I will say and believe I am beautifyl, and I will do those girly things that make me feel beautiful.
If you would like, add me as a friend, and we can motivate each other!0
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