HELP!!!!

I need help and or a little constructive criticism. i have been exercising for a while now, been active all my life but in recent years i found the weights room and i am loving it. i am also a runner, and race for the first 6mths of the year. my goal this year was to bulk during the winter and cut when it came to spring. Something is not working and i cannot work out what it is. i feel like i am just spinning the wheel and getting no where. i have built the muscle, i am strong and fit now i want to drop the fat and it seem to be stuck to my tummy and thighs for the rest of time.

stats
173cm Height
67kg weight
40years old - i think this is my problem...my metabolism has come to a screaming halt!

workouts
1hr x 3-4 lifting heavy per week
1hr intense training with a personal trainer
3 x runs a week - all under 1hr long
1x yoga

i am gluten and dairy free so my carbs tend to be low - 30% fat 30% protein 40% i eat 1800-2000 cals a day depending on the workout schedule for that day, the more i train the more i eat. i am human and do have off days now and then but usually my day goes like this
breakfast
vege ommlette
morning tea - protein shake and fruit - post workout
lunch chicken breast and salad
afternoon tea - nuts and egg or chicken and fruit
dinner meat and green veg
pre bed cup of tea

i sleep well. My stress levels are high as my mother is dying. i train hard and eat clean 85-90% of the time. My TDEE is usually around 2500-2800 and 2100 on a rest day. i have 5 children so some days its above 3000!!!

So let me have it. what am i doing wrong? should i eat more? less? train harder? cant train less. first race of the season in Feb2 and i refuse to give up lifting although in the month leading up to a race i will cut back.