Birthday party at bar, who pays?
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I want to have a birthday party for a friend, a surprise party. He has a lot of friends, and I was wondering how to handle paying. It is about 20 dollars a person for food/3 hr open bar and about 12 for just the food.
Should I mention it in the invitation about each person paying 20?
Should I just pay for everything?
If so, I would have to cut the guest list down quite a bit.
I never was in this situation before.
Should I mention it in the invitation about each person paying 20?
Should I just pay for everything?
If so, I would have to cut the guest list down quite a bit.
I never was in this situation before.
0
Replies
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Depending on how old the people you are inviting are. If early twenties then mentioning it on the invite, that will weed out some of the people who will show up to a funeral if it has an open bar. If older than 30 then say donations to help cover the cost (you might end with a profit, if you have decent friends).
If you are trying to pay for it all, then definitely might have to limit the invites based on your financial situation.
A last possible option is have wristbands, and let people know they cost a certain amount. That way you can give some for free (the people you don't mind paying for) and then charge the rest. Only downside to this one is needing someone to manage the money/wristbands, unless everyone shows up early and you doing it before the shenanigans start.0 -
thanks
It is for my dads 60th birthday. I keep hearing that it can be tacky, and others say it is fine and its not tacky.
The open bar/food includes wristbands.0 -
If you are inviting people you can't ask them to pay. In my opinion, it would be very TACKY!0
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I see absolutely no problem with inviting people and paying for the food, but have a cash bar instead. You can mention that in the invite and should be just fine. Asking them to come and then pay for everything themselves is pretty tacky, but you aren't required to provide them with alcohol.0
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If you are inviting everyone as "host", then you pay. Otherwise, clearly state in the invite that its $20 a person.0
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thanks
It is for my dads 60th birthday. I keep hearing that it can be tacky, and others say it is fine and its not tacky.
The open bar/food includes wristbands.
Oh that changes the dynamic, I thought you are taking about a young crowd. Ya if it is a celebration like that then it is tacky, cause chances are they are bringing a gift or something.0 -
thanks for the feedback so far0
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you throw the party,
you pay for the PERSON WHOSE BIRTHDAY it is ONLY0 -
you throw the party,
you pay for the PERSON WHOSE BIRTHDAY it is ONLY
It is not tacky at all, if it is an older crowd and it is in a public place I would not be offended at all if you sent me an invite with food and an open bar for 20 bucks....Definitely pay for the birthday boy0 -
Mention the price, and have them pay their own way. Unless you're loaded and everyone knows that's how you roll, it's a little unreasonable and impractical for anyone to expect you to pay for EVERYONE.
Paying for the birthday guy would be a very nice gesture, though.0 -
Just had this for my future mother in law. You plan, you invite, you pay. For everyone. You can't invite someone to a party and then go "oh heyyy... I need 20 dollars"0
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With an older crowd of your dad's friends, I'd say you're best off paying for the food, skip the open bar, but ask the venue if they can run a tab for the birthday boy that you will pay.
Another dynamic though -- if the crowd is a lot of relatives, then asking them to contribute to defray the costs should not be a problem, especially if many of said relatives are older / more flush with cash than you are.0 -
I like the option of the wrist bands. When we did our last party we paid for the food, but asked for $10 to cover the alcohol. We had 3 colors. One for food, one for bar, and one for both. That way the bartenders knew who to serve for free and who to charge by the drink. Then we paid the tab for those that bought the bar band at the end of the night. Just a thought. Not everyone may drink and I certainly don't want to pay for someone else to get sloshed just so I can eat. :drinker:0
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There is no un-tacky way to extend an invoice in the guise of an invitation. I suppose it is possible to make an announcement that you will be celebrating at whatever venue and time, and if they wish you join you then they would be welcome companions. But if this is a catered thing where there's a guest list and you're paying for a set amount (rather than people being able to get their own check at the end), then you pay, because they are invited guests, and guests are not customers.0
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Unless someone offers to split the bill then it's all on you.
A few months ago my husbands sister and her SO had an 80th b-day dinner for his mom at a swanky restaurant and invited the immediate family to it. She picked up the entire bill and my husband picked up the tip (he offered to go halves with her but she didn't want to).
I don't think I have ever been invited to a catered party where I was asked to pitch in for the bill.0 -
Check with the bar, they should be able to set up a cover for anyone coming and then they get a wrist band to have access to the open bar and food. That way the invite could say "cover charge of $20 open bar and food included" and no one would be paying you directly. Or you could lower the cover and see about drink and food specials, say a $5 cover and free domestic beer, $2 imports/IPAs and $3 well drinks or something along those lines and a buffet style for the food.
Remember bars are public places so not everyone in the bar will be with your party and wristbands will help the bartender to know who to server for free or for the specials. You don't want randoms coming in to the party and making you pay.0 -
Just had this for my future mother in law. You plan, you invite, you pay. For everyone. You can't invite someone to a party and then go "oh heyyy... I need 20 dollars"
The sad thing is that I know people who do this kind of crap. I no longer party with them! :laugh:0 -
I say get Dad a nice card and call it done...kidding I kid!
Sounds like a very sweet thing you are doing for your Dad0 -
For my dad's 80th (and final) b-day party, I paid for the food, which included one non-alcoholic beverage. I had a cash bar for alcohol.
I am not sure how it would be done at a bar, but it's perfectly fine to have guests pay for their own alcohol. Nothing tacky about that.0
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