hope you don't take this the wrong way...

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amstein18
amstein18 Posts: 131
in Health and Weight Loss
i HATE it when people on here talk about how they can't stand when "skinny people" try to give them weight loss advice! i've seen like 6 posts/blogs about this in the last month or so. are you serious?!?!? aren't you on this site to learn more, lose weight, get support & get healthy????? SO WHAT IF IT IS FROM THINNER PEOPLE THAN YOU!??!! and frankly, skinny or heavy, i want advice from a HEALTHY person. i don't care how big or small you are, if you have good advice i will take it!!! do you think that just because you've been heavy for x amount of time & have had issues with food for x amount of time that people smaller or bigger than you can't possibly understand & can't possibly have good tips for you? get over yourself. people of ALL sizes each have their own story & journey & we are all on this site for a common goal so why turn down good advice just because of someone's size? they are being nice & trying to help & support you. i'll never understand.

Replies

  • vcatmb44
    vcatmb44 Posts: 129 Member
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    Couldnt agree more
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    My only issue is skinny doesn't equal healthy just like fat doesn't equal unhealthy. I want advice from people who do what they say, not from people who just think they know best because they are skinny. I want advice from someone who has experience. Experience that doesn't come from a high metabolism or starving yourself all day. But people who work hard to keep themselves healthy.

    I would guess that is where the other posters are coming from. I may be wrong it may be superficially based.
  • beethedreamer
    beethedreamer Posts: 465 Member
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    i agree. I'm no where close to being skinny, but i would hope that when/if i ever look skinny, that people would want my advice no matter what size i am. Many of the skinny people on here have worked hard to get there, and probably know a thing or two about weight loss. I value any tips people give me, no matter what their size.
  • TaraMaria
    TaraMaria Posts: 1,975
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    OMG AMEN! Seriously! Its been less then a year since I STARTED my weight loss journey and I'm already getting this. The day after having my son I weighed in at 205 and I'm 5'3". I understand being heavy. I understand it sucks. Just because for the first time in 8 years I'm at a healthy weight doesn't meant I'm suddenly the devil. On a DAILY basis I'm still applying the SAME tips I would tell you to maintain my new body. If I'm not telling you to eat 300 calories a day and only eat a carrot, say goodbye to your family and live in a gym then my advice isn't bad because that isn't realistic and it isn't healthy.
  • amstein18
    amstein18 Posts: 131
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    My only issue is skinny doesn't equal healthy just like fat doesn't equal unhealthy. I want advice from people who do what they say, not from people who just think they know best because they are skinny. I want advice from someone who has experience. Experience that doesn't come from a high metabolism or starving yourself all day. But people who work hard to keep themselves healthy.

    I would guess that is where the other posters are coming from. I may be wrong it may be superficially based.

    i agree with you completely
    which is why i put this sentence in my post "and frankly, skinny or heavy, i want advice from a HEALTHY person."
    if that is what people mean when they write they don't want advice from a skinny person, they should replace skinny with unhealthy.. that's all i'm sayin
  • knittygirl52
    knittygirl52 Posts: 432 Member
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    On one hand, you're absolutely right. Obviously the healthy people have it way more together than those of us who have lots and lots to lose.

    On the other hand, someone who has never struggled for years with the problem, may not be able to see that there IS a problem. My mother always told me to push myself away from the table. But I know for a fact she never struggled with the ongoing mental argument that went on in my head from the mere presence of sweets. She often told me, "You can't possibly be hungry. You just ate." But she didn't understand that I was unable to distinguish the difference between hunger and desire (something it has taken me 57 years to be able to do). And I've also had people tell me (at 100+ pounds overweight) that I just needed to do this or that kind of exercise, without having any idea of the physical pain I went through just to walk.

    The problem is: when you have a serious weight problem, it's not that simple. And it's painful to have people tell you how simple it is.
  • tbernard
    tbernard Posts: 54 Member
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    If I might suggest. There isn't a single poster on here who whose advice I would take without a grain of salt. From reading posts a person can gain a certain perspective or insight into what may happen with their body. They may gain some very good ideas. If you are however a person with serious weight loss as your goal I would consider an occasional visit to a doctor, a personal trainer, a nutritianist, or all three in order to bounce these ideas off of them. Its the best control I know of to make sure you don't find yourself taking horrible advice from someone who shouldn't really be giving it. And your doctor certainly knows more about you than any of us..

    I certainly wouldn't ignore advice from anyone, including skinny girls but there is one thing I see way to often on this board. I see people with a hundred pounds to lose who instantly assume the first step is to start eating 800-1200 calories a day like their skinny friends do... and that is a recipe for disaster.
  • amstein18
    amstein18 Posts: 131
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    On one hand, you're absolutely right. Obviously the healthy people have it way more together than those of us who have lots and lots to lose.

    On the other hand, someone who has never struggled for years with the problem, may not be able to see that there IS a problem. My mother always told me to push myself away from the table. But I know for a fact she never struggled with the ongoing mental argument that went on in my head from the mere presence of sweets. She often told me, "You can't possibly be hungry. You just ate." But she didn't understand that I was unable to distinguish the difference between hunger and desire (something it has taken me 57 years to be able to do). And I've also had people tell me (at 100+ pounds overweight) that I just needed to do this or that kind of exercise, without having any idea of the physical pain I went through just to walk.

    The problem is: when you have a serious weight problem, it's not that simple. And it's painful to have people tell you how simple it is.


    i totally understand where you are coming from. and i personally would NEVER tell someone that this journey is simple. it takes hard work & dedication & sometimes you have to uncover things about yourself that have been buried for years in order to succeed. it's an entirely new way of life for a lot of people. i think that giving sound advice from a supportive place (ex: try this recipe, it's lower calorie. try this workout dvd when you feel you're ready, it works great." is a LOT different than saying "oh just do this, it's so simple".
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I TOTALLY agree with You! Personally, I have-in the past always been side tracked by the people who were trying to lose weight or those that had been on a bizillion DIETS (but they are STILL FAT!) It has always been "fellow fatties" that have SABOTAGED Me IN THE PAST; they always SNEAK in what They "Used" to do, or You can eat this and it won't hurt or you are losing to fast or that is not a meal. Hellyal, somebody TRYING to change bad habits can't do nuffin but pass their bad stuff ON, or make excuses for You because they want YOU to make excuses for them; they still see a serving of rice as Half the Bag or a Meal MUST be a Plate Full of Food! WHY in the world go to the local drunk who is wasted 3/4 days a week (and EVERY MONDAY makes a NEW Pledge of Sobriety) to learn how to get sober and stay that way...why not go to the Reformed Alcoholic who has CHANGED and working the program everyday or someone who DO NOT use alcohol as a "release" but has other methods of dealing with problems. I wanna see how "normal," healthy people eat, exercise, and live. How they handle stress, ups and downs, what they do when they over-eat... What I have found is that people want SUPPORT for their Failures...AWW, you messed up today, well, tomorrow is another day, you'll be OK...Blah, Blah, Blah. Also, many people Do NOT like success UNLESS it is THEM, they begrudge everyone, everything. I'm tired of "supporting" people who are not really looking for support but a CRUTCH and will sap all of your enthusiasm and move on to the next person. If a person is really SERIOUS about anything, they go to those that are SUCCESSFUL at what they are trying to Be/Do!
  • TaraMaria
    TaraMaria Posts: 1,975
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    For example, just last week a girlfriend of mine was talking about loosing weight and was mentioned that she could not figure out a way to stick to it. I've watched her for years struggle, JUST AS I HAVE. I mentioned MFP, saying its awesome, I love it, its da bomb...so on and so forth. She looks at me like I just punched a puppy. I was so taken aback, were we not just talking about weight? It was okay for HER to talk about it but the second I opened my mouth about weight loss or dieting, it was not okay. I get on here all the time because its a lifestyle, not a fad.
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
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    i hear ya!

    i was talking with my cousin who is overweight about eating less now that we are older and we both mentioned how hard it is sometimes to watch what we eat. then she said, 'you don't understand. only people who are my size can understand what it's like.' i was like 'oookay'. :) i guess now that i've lost weight and she hasn't, i have become clueless about portion sizes?
  • jennylynn84
    jennylynn84 Posts: 659
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    For example, just last week a girlfriend of mine was talking about loosing weight and was mentioned that she could not figure out a way to stick to it. I've watched her for years struggle, JUST AS I HAVE. I mentioned MFP, saying its awesome, I love it, its da bomb...so on and so forth. She looks at me like I just punched a puppy. I was so taken aback, were we not just talking about weight? It was okay for HER to talk about it but the second I opened my mouth about weight loss or dieting, it was not okay. I get on here all the time because its a lifestyle, not a fad.

    She might have wanted the "you're crazy, you don't need to lose weight!" response and been surprised you had real advice rather than just placating compliments. Personally I wouldn't look down on solid advice from someone I knew had been there.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Knowledge is knowledge. Everything should be weighed for validity based on the information, not the person providing it. I read a lot...and I am over weight. Should this either disqualify me for not practicing what I preach. What of the skinny person was once over weight?

    Keep your eyes open and you can find insight in amazing and unexpected places.
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    I'm willing to listen to any and all, I will thank all even if I am disregarding some of the advice.

    The only ones that really get my goat are the pious posters, they've read or heard a report and ram it at you as gospel. What works for one will not necessarily work for another so put it out as a suggestion not a statement of fact.

    Incidentally, its not a "skinny" who I have found to be the most pious poster
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    My only issue is skinny doesn't equal healthy just like fat doesn't equal unhealthy. I want advice from people who do what they say, not from people who just think they know best because they are skinny. I want advice from someone who has experience. Experience that doesn't come from a high metabolism or starving yourself all day. But people who work hard to keep themselves healthy.

    I would guess that is where the other posters are coming from. I may be wrong it may be superficially based.

    What does fat equal then?
  • dogdaze
    dogdaze Posts: 110 Member
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    If there was an easy way and just one approach which worked, there would not be any overweight people, right?

    Life is never that simple.

    There is a good deal of collective expertise here. I see no harm in tapping into it. Of course, all advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. It is up to individuals to do some research and there are bound to be things that won't work for everyone. I have learned a lot of things that I did not know before through reading posts from this community. I have been encouraged to try forms of exercise that I had not previously considered (like exercise DVDs).
  • lozf85
    lozf85 Posts: 62 Member
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    Agreed – and I think it is also important to appreciate that it can be JUST as difficult for someone to lost ten pounds as it is for the person looking to lose 50. Weight loss, and the emotional reasons and journey that go along with it is a very personal thing.

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