How do you handle nonsupporters?
rrosborne88
Posts: 25
I'm not sure why this is bothering me. Today checking out at the grocery store, the cashier sat there making fun of all my healthy food. I was confused because I have never had someone that I didn't know making fun of healthy food. I had lots of fresh fruits and veggies. Then when I ate lunch, I had spinach with cottage cheese and avocado. YUM! My aunt sat there saying how nasty my food was. She wasn't eating it, I was lol. She sat there and nit picked every single thing. "Cottage cheese is just horrific! The taste! The texture! Everything about it, is just gross! That's some nasty stuff!"
What do you do with nonsupporters? How do you handle rude comments?
I shouldn't let this bother me but it does.
When I started MFP, I got remarks like calorie counting is stupid and that my first ten pounds is water weight so don't get too excited. I have lost 17lbs so far and am working to loose 30-40 more.
It just seems like everyone needs to find a way to pick on healthy eaters.
What do you do with nonsupporters? How do you handle rude comments?
I shouldn't let this bother me but it does.
When I started MFP, I got remarks like calorie counting is stupid and that my first ten pounds is water weight so don't get too excited. I have lost 17lbs so far and am working to loose 30-40 more.
It just seems like everyone needs to find a way to pick on healthy eaters.
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Replies
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Congrats on your weight loss so far!
And it sucks that people don't support you. I get that sometimes, and either I try to educate people or do ignore it. Sometimes people are stuck in their own worlds and their own ideas, and they don't really get it. Just keep doing what you're doing because you've made awesome progress!0 -
Well the cashier would have been complained about to her manager. Your Aunt is family, so don't know what to say. Sorry people are just rude.0
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You're eating healthily and losing weight. If some stranger in a supermarket isn't giving you support it doesn't matter in the slightest. To me it sounds like she was just one of those people who have to say what they are thinking - and maybe she was just thinking 'I don't like that kind of food'. Think about it- does that really matter? She's a stranger who doesn't like the same food as you and she said it out loud. That's it.
Maybe I am cynical but why do people need to have everyone 'support' their choices. They are your choices and if they are bringing you the results you want and not hurting anybody then *kitten* what anyone else says.
Now if you were getting real abuse/bullying because you were losing weight then that would be terrible but to be honest I think you need to just think about what actually matters and what doesn't- a few comments that are less than encouraging really don't matter.
Well done on the weight-loss so far. You know you can do it now so just keep going and enjoy it!
** Edited to add- I read the post too quickly and thought it was the cashier who was saying she hated cottage cheese etc. So your aunt didn't like what you were having and the cashier 'made fun' of your food. The point is- they are talking about food, not you. Don't take it personally.
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It's hard sometimes to separate peoples opinions and your own, but your own opinion of what you're doing is the most important and it's the only one you should listen to.
They'll all be eating their words when you're at your goal weight looking even more fabulous.0 -
What Teresa said
The first 10lbs probably WAS water weight but the last 7 have probably been down to your hard work and determination. Keep going and the next 7 will be too!
People with nothing positive to say are ignored in my world 0 -
Stuff them, they don't have to live your life. Some people just like to bring you down. WTG on your weight loss.0
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I've often wondered whether it's a case of the person who is saying all the negative stuff is having a crisis of conscience .......maybe faced with someone actively changing their eating habits or exercise habits, whatever, finds their own behaviour/food choices held up to reality......in their heart they know they could and should do something but they just can't face it. If there is any merit to this they often take the easier route to make themselves feel better by being critical about your food choices and or demean your progress.
I guess I have found it easier to handle the negative comments and believe me their is always someone who will have an opinion about what you're doing.....by asking myself if I've possibly 'triggered' something within them and the negativity really has nothing to do with me per se.0 -
I was just at a 75th Birthday party for my aunt...they had the full buffet going...and I was doing my planning of my plate in my head...encouraging myself..When someone said "Don't Blow it" I turned and looked at them and said "I can have anything here, but have to watch my portions.. I can take care of myself thank you.' and they said "Oh." and walked away. I had a great time did my food journal and everything was tasty and worth every bite. I will show them you don't have to give it up...you just got to show the voice in your head that you are in control and don't need a lot...just a little of each...and to savor every bite.:flowerforyou:0
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I use my taser on them.
Bzzzzzt.0 -
F*** them....not literally but yeah.0
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I use my taser on them.
Bzzzzzt.
This.0 -
I had an acquaintance yesterday tell me what I was doing on my phone when I was at a friend's birthday party. I was counting the calories in the chips and calculating them on MFP for my food diary so I told him I was calorie counting. He said that he thought it was pretty stupid. However earlier in the night that same individual complained about being overweight, and when I gave him a ride home at the end of the night he was struggling to get into and out of my 4 door sedan because of his size. So yeah. Whatever.
I'm doing this for me. I don't care what other people think. If they want to support me great, if not, I don't care. I lost 60 pound so far in 6 months. I'm never going back to the reckless ways of eating mindlessly and not thinking about what I put into my body and how much.
Stay strong on your journey! Don't let detractors get to you! Always remind yourself how awesome you are for deciding to commit to a better lifestyle.0 -
Maybe I'm a bit more cynical than other posters, but my thought is that once the door is open, you can walk through it if you choose.
Family relationships can have boundaries too. If people who play an active role in your life are initiating negativity about your healthy choices, remind them that they are not the one making changes and move on. There is no reason for adults to go on and on about the preferences of others if the behavior is not causing harm. Say something next time and move on. On a public front...if someone who us supposed to be providing customer care is out of line, tell management.
As a side note, when you start to take care of yourself, (cutting back on drinking, working out, going for a promotion at work, getting rid of a tired ex, eating right and so on), people around you tend to start looking at their own lives. Insecurity and competitiveness are unfortunately generally not too far behind when someone is not ready to accept and move toward change themselves. Stop that train before it pulls into your shiny new station. Just like the folks in this community each had to be ready to make life changes, so will the people bringing the negativity, drama and judgement. Shut it down for your own sake.0 -
"If you cannot stop making rude comments about my food choices, I will shop elsewhere/will not be eating with you, anymore."
Boundaries are our friends.
Or just taser them. Bzzzzzzt.0 -
Lol @ taser
Yeah, or shut them off like a light switch. Believe me when I say I'm the only one excited about her sardine egg scramble. People say they wanna vomit. I shrug and shovel it in my mouth. It's all good.0 -
Most of the time its jealousy I'm afraid.. People don't have the will power to do it themselves and take it out on you with their negative comments.. most probably don't even know they are doing it. :noway:
I've had friends tell me that I shouldn't be losing weight (this was when I went from 13 stone to 12 stone... My ideal weight is around 10.5 stone (currently at 11))
Ive had them ridicule me for eating nothing but vegetables at work during my 12 hour night shifts (they have no idea what i eat during the day, and they obviously don't realise that the metabolism slows down in the evening... when 'normal' people are asleep. :yawn:
I returned from my holidays with the comment "your holiday is over now, you can go back to normal" ... this is my normal now (no dieting, this is a lifestyle choice for me)
And Ive had a work colleague (he don't know me from Adam) tell me... actually had the audacity to TELL me... not to lose any more weight... The bloody cheek (none of them know how i look under my clothes (only me n the boyfriend) :explode: .
Thanks to all these nasty, rude comments, I look in the mirror and I don't see this gorgeous slim 11 stone woman (My profile pic, right hand side).. all I see is the 13 stone unhappy me (My profile pic, left had side) :sad: -- don't get me wrong I can see the difference when I look at a still photo, but when I see a live reflection I don't see the progress :grumble:
I have decided that I will ignore the stupid comments (your holidays over etc) ... and the colleague who had a go at me for losing weight?... I told him to F**k Off and pay more attention to his obese frame :mad:
I already have an agreement with my boyfriend that the only time I'm going to stop actively trying to lose weight, tone the frame etc.. is when either I decided that enough is enough (I am happy with my results) or HE asks me to stop (due to the fact that Ive hit the healthy frame, weight, tone but am unable to see it myself) :bigsmile:
....
If you have positive comments, advice or criticism I am all ears :flowerforyou: :drinker: :smooched: .
If your negative, rude, jealous, or make fun... you can go to hell :mad: :explode: :devil:
....
Sorry for the essay :laugh:
Good luck in your journey, you've done a fantastic job so far.. Continue with your dedication and motivation and you'll hit your target in no time.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :drinker: :drinker: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
No one has ever done that to me. Tolerating that kind of unwanted critique will only invite more of it, BTW.
My response would be a cold, hard stare. The kind that makes the other person very, very uncomfortable. Usually stops that kind of behavior. And on the rare occasion that the stare doesn't work, the phrase "I don't remember asking you" does.0 -
Believe me when I say I'm the only one excited about her sardine egg scramble. People say they wanna vomit. I shrug and shovel it in my mouth. It's all good.
True story!0 -
Honestly, they probably say that stuff so you'll go down to their level. They don't feel like working to lose weight so they feel the need to pick on others trying to.0
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You can easily confront these people without a confrontation and possibly open a dialogue. Just look them straight in the eye and say "I happen to like this food and am not asking you to try or buy it"! Not in a nasty tone just definitive. I agree with an earlier poster that it is their way deflecting their own lack of follow through or health. I get slack about my food choices at work (and those people are family) I just tell them that luckily I didn't make enough to share and have even gotten them to try new things....some they like some the don't. You can believe tho they will then get the same treatment when the walk in with fast food or something I don't care for ( extra dramatically too) just to prove my point!0
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The world is full of hurting people. Don't let them bring you down. Just smile at them, be kind to everyone and do what you know is best for you.0
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When someone says my food is gross, I start chewing with my mouth open and make sure some of it falls on the table. Learned that from my dad. We used that when i was a kid, to gross my mom out of eating, so we could eat her dessert too.0
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No one questions me about food, especially after I just gutted it.0
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I don't really expect cashiers to be supportive, lol. If they want to give a running commentary of what they like and don't like, that's fine by me. They really do like to do that sometimes. It sounds like a boring job She was probably just making conversation.
The aunt probably was, too, but it sounds like she did it rudely, because you were trying to eat at the time. I usually say, "Well thanks for that" with an impatient but not pi$$ed look and they get the message. Or 'I'd like to eat without hearing so much about my food now, OK?', etc. All good-naturedly. Cottage cheese is not everyone's favorite, at all
I don't think everyone is insecure about themselves around dieters. I think people like talking about their opinions... on everything!
Try eating escargots in front of people. Yeah, that always goes well
Even buying it always gets a few comments! 0
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