I have lost 90 pounds but still feel ugly/fat

First off, congratulations!! Amazing job you have done.

In regards to your post, I understand where you are coming from. I am not sure that we hit a number and all of a sudden feel better about ourselves. Celebrate what you have accomplished. You will have good days where you are very proud of yourself and other days where you look in the mirror and you are not so proud but make no mistake - YOU have accomplished a great fete and there are MANY MANY people who will not be able to do what you have done. Becoming confident in yourself takes a long time. Plus, let'd face it, society is full of "perfect" bodies everywhere you look (TV, media, etc..) I am not sure us "normal" people can measure up. Give yourself time to adjust and give yourself a break too. It will come.

It takes time for the head to sync up with the body, I'm afraid. If you're anything like me, it will come on slowly, like trying on a pair of pants that you expect to fit but fall off. When you walk by a store window and don't recognize your reflection. Enough of those Ah-ha moments and you'll realize that you're not fat and you're not ugly and that all your hard work has given you the reward of a healthy new body.

Congratulation on your hard work. You should be proud of losing the equivalent of a 13 year old boy! :drinker:

Depending on how fast the 90lbs came off then you're thinking like the person who was 90lbs heavier. It's hard to identify with the person in the mirror when it was hiding behind 90 extra pounds and now it's not. This is the part that gets tough and makes it easy to slide back into old habits because it's comfortable. It's important to keep the parts of you that you liked and improve the parts of you that you didn't. Eventually, you will become comfortable again with the person you've become. You're the half the person you were and twice the person you want to be.

I lost the weight, but the confidence didn't come until I started lifting. First of all, it has an objective measure of progress built in, and second, it increases production of pretty much all neurotransmitters and hormones responsible for confidence and happiness. Testosterone, Growth Hormone, Endorphins, Serotonin, Dopamine,

When you walk by a store window and don't recognize your reflection.

It's so true. I walked past a window one day and had to do a double take...like...wait, was that me??
I can't say that from that moment on I was completely confident, I'm not even near my goal weight yet, but it was my "OMG, I'm not really fat anymore!" moment.

Our minds are funny things, aren't they? I look at myself in the mirror in a bra and panties and I still look exactly the same way I did 100 pounds ago. Even though I've had to give 75% of my clothes to Goodwill because they were too big, I still don't see the difference.

This is where my friends and coworkers are so essential to me. They tell me how great I look. They comment on my weight loss. They call me "skinny mini" though I'm certainly not skinny yet. My boyfriend comments on my improved muscle tone (bodypump classes are pretty awesome).

I'm not sure when I'll really see the difference, but A LOT of people feel the same way we do. We get used to seeing ourselves a certain way and it becomes difficult to really see the changes.

Be kind to yourself. Please. Don't berate yourself or say you're fat or disgusting. Be your own biggest cheerleader.

Instead of a weight goal, set a fitness goal. It doesn't have to be anything specific. Learn to dance, or fight or squat 1.5x your bodyweight. Run a marathon or a tough mudder. Then, when you have accomplished that goal, set another one. There are few feelings more satisfying than accomplishing some physical feat and saying to yourself, "A year ago I could not have done this!"
Chasing a weight is fine until you get close to it. Then it becomes a constant battle against your own body. Trading contentedness for lbs. Once you are healthy enough to begin challenging yourself (and your profile pictures imply that you are) then it should be you and your body together against whatever crazy goal you set for yourself. When you are training you can eat more of the things you love and you will not worry about any weight you gain because it will likely be solid muscle.
You are a good looking 25 year old guy! Compared to you I am an old hack already! I didn't get where you are until I was 31 years old. As someone who is also a father, let me tell you that your kids watching you in awe as you lift weights that make the bar bend, or climb around playground equipment with them like you are spiderman is nothing short of amazing. They already think you are a super hero. Now you have the chance to actually become one. Go forth and become the god you have locked inside!


Motivational links: http://i.imgur.com/tJSCP.jpg
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.01/ultraman.html

When you walk by a store window and don't recognize your reflection.

It's so true. I walked past a window one day and had to do a double take...like...wait, was that me??
I can't say that from that moment on I was completely confident, I'm not even near my goal weight yet, but it was my "OMG, I'm not really fat anymore!" moment.

LOL - this is SO true. I was in a line at a convenience store and caught sight of a person in the corner mirror. My first thought was, "Hey we have on the same shirt!". That being said, I still have days where I can not see the change in the mirror. It's a process. Keep going. Your brain will catch up!