Fiance is a scientific anomoly; doesn't get my methods.

widmer3
widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
I'm currently in a short (12 week) bulk cycle. I usually hang at around 115 lbs, 20% bf, and I'm trying to bulk up to around 124 so I can come back to 115 at a lower BF% (hence, gain muscle, lose fat). This makes sense to me. I've researched it. It makes logical scientific sense.

My fiance, however, doesn't get it. He has always been fit. I mean six pack abs, cut, muscular arms fit, even though he RARELY lifts anymore. He never counted calories. His entire life has been a dirty bulk, but he would just call it "drinking beer and eating McDonalds the night before a wrestling match." He doesn't understand why I need to put on weight in order to get stronger. Like, just won't accept it. He refuses to believe that powerlifters, if they were to cut, would have visible muscle definition, but they don't because, uh, gainz.

I don't know how to convince him I'm not just eating a lot for fun and I'm going to get fat for no reason. Does anyone have any reputable articles/sites/personal accounts I can direct him to in order to get my point across?

Thanks in advance.
-K.

Replies

  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Eh, if he won't believe years of research and science by experts nothing we can say should change his mind. Let your own results do the talking.
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.

    This. You don't say how old your fiance is but since you're 23, I'm going to assume he's close to your age. Once his metabolism slows and he starts gaining weight from drinking beer and eating McDonald's as well as losing his six pack and muscle definition, he'll be grateful you are educated about the proper way to do things. He'll need your help.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.

    yep!
  • timbrom
    timbrom Posts: 303 Member
    Hand him a copy of any decent strength training book and make him read it. If he won't read it, beat him with a barbell until he does :)
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.

    your body, your business.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    Tell him to do research on Body builders, that is exactly how they train/eat, though they take other "enhancers" as well. But for diet, bulk then cut for comp, over and over again.
  • gk03ub
    gk03ub Posts: 99 Member
    You don't need him to believe you. Results speak louder than words!
  • stephcbms
    stephcbms Posts: 142 Member
    What he said :)
  • stephcbms
    stephcbms Posts: 142 Member
    djeffrys :) said
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    I don't know how to convince him I'm not just eating a lot for fun and I'm going to get fat for no reason.

    If he's worried about this, I'd be more worried about the relationship than whether or not he understands your methods.
  • widmer3
    widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
    I don't know how to convince him I'm not just eating a lot for fun and I'm going to get fat for no reason.

    If he's worried about this, I'd be more worried about the relationship than whether or not he understands your methods.

    It's not so much that he's worried that I'll get fat because he personally finds that to be unattractive; rather, he knows how much my physical appearance matters to ME, and knows that I would be uncomfortable at a heavier weight. So he's just trying to look out for me, I guess, in the best way he understands how.
  • richardheath
    richardheath Posts: 1,276 Member
    Point him to Lyle...?

    http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/muscle-gain/general-philosophies-of-muscle-mass-gain.html
  • widmer3
    widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
    Point him to Lyle...?

    http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/muscle-gain/general-philosophies-of-muscle-mass-gain.html

    Great article, thank you!
  • anewday23
    anewday23 Posts: 16 Member
    I don't understand either. Isn't body composition about proportion? So if ultimately, you want to stay at the exact weight you are now, wouldn't you just hit the weights harder, lower your cardio a little and eat more to maintain the muscle, eating more protein and less fat?

    Why would you want to gain pounds instead of just gain muscle and keep your overall weight the same?
    I am not at all trying to be rude, but I have never heard of this tactic except for people who are trying to gain.
  • widmer3
    widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
    anewday23, that IS possible; it's called a recomp. But the process there is SLOW going, and many argue it's just spinning your wheels. I'd rather do a few bulk/cut cycles and get results faster.
  • timbrom
    timbrom Posts: 303 Member
    I don't understand either. Isn't body composition about proportion? So if ultimately, you want to stay at the exact weight you are now, wouldn't you just hit the weights harder, lower your cardio a little and eat more to maintain the muscle, eating more protein and less fat?

    Why would you want to gain pounds instead of just gain muscle and keep your overall weight the same?
    I am not at all trying to be rude, but I have never heard of this tactic except for people who are trying to gain.

    Read Lyle's article. The tl;dr is that what you are suggesting doesn't work.
  • bcf7683
    bcf7683 Posts: 1,653 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.

    This. You don't say how old your fiance is but since you're 23, I'm going to assume he's close to your age. Once his metabolism slows and he starts gaining weight from drinking beer and eating McDonald's as well as losing his six pack and muscle definition, he'll be grateful you are educated about the proper way to do things. He'll need your help.

    ^Agreed. My BF used to be a good body weight in high school/college years while eating crap all day, but once he hit 24-25 yrs old, the weight crept on because his metabolism was changing and his habits weren't changing to match.......enter the "beer gut". He only recently realized that if he didn't change something he was going to be so far gone in comparison to his old weight. We also have a friend who used to laugh at my BF when the weight started creeping on- now it's happening to him too
  • angiebirdie
    angiebirdie Posts: 64 Member
    I don't know how to convince him I'm not just eating a lot for fun and I'm going to get fat for no reason.

    If he's worried about this, I'd be more worried about the relationship than whether or not he understands your methods.

    It's not so much that he's worried that I'll get fat because he personally finds that to be unattractive; rather, he knows how much my physical appearance matters to ME, and knows that I would be uncomfortable at a heavier weight. So he's just trying to look out for me, I guess, in the best way he understands how.


    But if you're explaining to him that you want to gain weight, then why is he so worried?
  • widmer3
    widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
    Honestly, he doesn't need to believe you. It's your body, for you to sculpt in whatever way you choose. Quite frankly, it's none of his business. You are doing the correct thing. So just do your thing and be happy.

    This. You don't say how old your fiance is but since you're 23, I'm going to assume he's close to your age. Once his metabolism slows and he starts gaining weight from drinking beer and eating McDonald's as well as losing his six pack and muscle definition, he'll be grateful you are educated about the proper way to do things. He'll need your help.

    ^Agreed. My BF used to be a good body weight in high school/college years while eating crap all day, but once he hit 24-25 yrs old, the weight crept on because his metabolism was changing and his habits weren't changing to match.......enter the "beer gut". He only recently realized that if he didn't change something he was going to be so far gone in comparison to his old weight. We also have a friend who used to laugh at my BF when the weight starting creeping on- but now it's happening to him to

    This might happen to him, I'm not sure though. His family is all very thin, and his father didn't even begin to see weight changes until his mid-forties. My fiance is currently 27, btw, and experiences no physical repercussions of his eating habits so far. His blood work is even immaculate. Frankly, it's not fair haha
  • V0lver
    V0lver Posts: 915 Member
    How can someone maintain a 6 pack without watching what they are eating and more importantly not working out ? *Mindblown*
  • widmer3
    widmer3 Posts: 94 Member
    How can someone maintain a 6 pack without watching what they are eating and more importantly not working out ? *Mindblown*

    I know. It's disgusting and so not fair at all!! Granted, he DID hit the gym hard and compete in both tennis and wrestling for the first 21 years of his life, so it's not like he did nothing, but still!! I wish I could eat entire pizzas and have washboard abs....
  • kerve13
    kerve13 Posts: 13
    There are entire sections at GNC/Vitamin Shoppe type stores of products that are labeled as "weight gainer" and "mass gainer."

    Also, you wanted sources, cuz I'm betting he doesn't care about the musings of random interweb people. So...
    http://jasonferruggia.com/gain-muscle-lose-fat-is-it-possibl/

    Also:
    "While this is not impossible to do, it can be quite difficult and requires several specific circumstances to be in place. First, you must be significantly overweight with a high body fat percentage."
    http://www.livestrong.com/article/362906-can-you-build-muscle-on-a-calorie-deficit/
  • kerve13
    kerve13 Posts: 13
    Edited.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    My husband didn't get it either and if asked, he will still think that me "bulking" was a bad idea, yet he sure likes the booty it produced and he prefers bodies such as Jamie Eason. Pretty sure she's done a few bulks in her life.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Does your fiance keep track of what you eat? Maybe you're giving him more information than he needs. I eat what I want to eat, without telling my husband all the gory details of my goals and methods. His job is to appreciate the results, not criticize what I eat.

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