struggle to lose weight, used to be easy.

rccourtney1
rccourtney1 Posts: 5
in Getting Started
I'm very upset about my weight. I was generally someone that could maintain my weight without effort or put minimal effort in and lose weight I gained. Now I'm 34, losing weight is a struggle and it is so discouraging, I keep thinking if only I wouldn't have gained the weight, now it wouldn't be such a struggle to lose weight. I did the calorie counting and exercise counting on here for a month and lost 3 pounds, decided that I could do it without recording food intake, stopped for a week and reweighed myself only to find that I had regained all the lost weight. Now I wonder if I had just lost water weight during that time and not actually lost bodyfat.

I gained about 14 pounds over the past few years and my goal is to just lose 9 pounds, it may not sound like a lot to some people but the extra weight is distressing to me. A lot of my clothes don't fit or don't fit the same. And my body fat percentage is high, according to my scale it is 29.8% and I believe it given how flabby I am.

How do you get over your anger at yourself and the feeling like if I wouldn't have gained the weight I wouldn't have to do this now? Can anyone else relate to struggling to lose weight after a lifetime of not needing to worry about it?

Replies

  • dshalbert
    dshalbert Posts: 677 Member
    I'm 56, and from experience, my mid-30's is when I had to start paying attention to my weight. I had always been slender in my teens and 20's and would put on what I called "winter weights" but it came off quickly and effortlessly when I wanted it to.

    Unfortunately a lot of things happen to us metabolically and hormonally as we age, which makes weight loss not as easy. We have to just keep trying harder to get the same result, and unfortunately it's never really the same result :grumble: I'm not telling you this to discourage you, just to let you know that you may have to adjust a few things to get to and stay at your desired weight. And when you figure out what it is . . .please share , because we would all like to know THATsecret :wink:
  • janicebinva
    janicebinva Posts: 99 Member
    Hi there rccourtney1,

    I can relate to the problem of weight loss getting harder. It was always hard for me, but a couple of years ago it got a lot harder. It does seem like in order to maintain a weight where I look and feel good, I have to go above and beyond what most people have to do. And I'm not aiming for "skinny" -- I'm 5'6" and want to weigh 145. So, my main issue right now is how not to get too frustrated and then eat whatever I want because I just want to relax and not think about it all the time. I read in a book that once you slip, the most important thing you can do is get yourself together and be good for the rest of that day and the next day. I think that's a big key for folks like us.

    Would you like to become "friends" on this board? I just joined and don't have any friends yet. I'm looking for people for mutual support when we feel weak or unmotivated, and to cheer each other on when we're doing well.
  • rccourtney1
    rccourtney1 Posts: 5
    Thank you Janicebinva and dshalbert.

    Yes, I think I am going to have to adjust a few things to lose weight, first one being I need to eat more protein and less simple carbs. The unfortunate thing is that I love, love, love processed carbs and and not huge on meat so I am going to have to make some changes in my diet to get in protein sources I like.

    Janice, I like what you said about when you slip up transitioning back to eating healthy for the rest of the day and the next day. I find that I am so upset about my weight that I just want to eat to get some comfort but that is not going to help me in the long run. And I think being friends is a great idea, I will send you a request
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
    I noticed this most when I turned 39. Still moving forward with my plan though...*sigh*
  • Starfish1125
    Starfish1125 Posts: 169 Member
    I miss the days when the weight just "fell off".....I gained 30 lbs over the past 6 years, slowly, 3-4 lbs a year, but it's SO hard to get it off. I keep trying, though....
  • SteveStedge1
    SteveStedge1 Posts: 149 Member
    Hi Courtney,

    Im 38 and my wife is 34. I used to be able to half-*kitten* watch what Id eat and lose .5 lbs a DAY. In my 30's that is no longer the case.

    Don't beat yourself up about it..but it gives a whole new appreciation for those in their early 20's complaining about how hard it is because we know as you get older it gets wayyyy more hard.

    You can't change the past. (And if you can, hook me up with how to do so) so worrying about "what if" I never gained the weight is pointless. All you can do is be a better you tomorrow than you were today.
  • poetronics
    poetronics Posts: 2
    I too struggle with weight loss. I've started the Dr. Berg plan which is adjusted acoording to your type and broken down according to certain hormones which effect your body. There are specific diets for persons who want to lose weight according to your type but there is no starvation or fads. You take a simple quiz and find out where you fall. I have just started this so I can't yet speak to its effectiveness but I'm looking forward.

    http://www.drberg.com/
  • rueann
    rueann Posts: 7
    Hi,

    I've been feeling the exact same way, but I've started praying about my weight and the strength to stay on course with a healthy lifestyle. I've lost a pound this week and haven't had any cravings that I couldn't ignore. Praise God! Before this week, I was ready to give up and be fat forever.
  • haymancm
    haymancm Posts: 280 Member
    I totally get you!! The closer I get to my goal weight, the harder it is to lose the weight, but that just means I have to workout harder for it to happen! lol Do you wear a heart rate monitor? It could be that you are underestimating the calories burned &/or eating too much of your workout. Weigh yourself daily to make sure that you are on track with what you are eating & burns.

    Add me if you'd like. :)
  • ViktoryaC
    ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
    I completely understand where youre coming from....I spent my 20's being almost underweight at 5'6, 110 pounds. Now I'm 31, and 173 pounds, and still getting fatter despite my best efforts. It's like my metabolism has completely changed! Add me?
  • 5525carin
    5525carin Posts: 2 Member
    I can relate to this. I was always underweight no matter what I ate. When I had my third child at 36 things went the opposite for me. I thought it would be like my first two and I would be back in my regular clothes in no time, ha!
    Well, I just turned 40 and am still struggling to keep myself where I want to be. Part of the problem is that I am 5'0" and I have to keep my calories at about 1200 a day. I currently don't have a scale due to giving away a ton of stuff before we moved 1100 miles away from home, but I know the weight is sneaking up because of my jeans getting snug. I no longer beat myself up over it though because I know I will never look like I did in my 20's and early 30's but I am more mindful of controlling what I eat.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 509 Member
    I can't agree completely as I just turned 38 and this is the first time in my life I've lost weight intentionally. I think sometimes women are afraid to do the things that are really effective in making their bodies burn fat, namely rebuilding the muscle that is lost as we age and become more sedentary. You have to make a conscious decision to try to increase the amount of calories you burn through body recomposition and other activity instead of just giving up because you're "old." I don't know about you, but I'm NOT old and I'm sure not going to act like I am.
  • bugtaylor
    bugtaylor Posts: 77 Member
    THE RACE DOESN'T GO TO THE SWIFT NOR THE STRONG BUT THE ONE WHO ENDURES
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I'm 52 and I know what you are saying. But, I think it is the difference in lifestyle that mostly makes it hard. At least it was for me. My children grew up and moved out, I began to focus on career advancement and spent WAY too much time sitting and working, or sitting and reading, or sitting and watching TV. I used to be active and weight control was a breeze. Oops, I gained 5 lbs. Step up the activity and BOOM, it's gone.

    Was I disappointed that I'd let myself gain? Heck yeah, I was. But anger wouldn't help. Exercise and watching what I ate helped, but for me, exercise was THE key. Burn calories, lose fat and build muscle. Even at my age I was still able to lose over 25 lbs in 5 months just by getting up and exercising most days. I made few diet changes, not even in portions. I just stopped being sedentary.
  • amonpas
    amonpas Posts: 10 Member
    Always count or keep track of the food you eat. This will keep you from miss judging the amount you consume.

    Quote " You are never really off the program unless you stop counting"
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    According to your profile, you are 5'11 and weigh 144 lbs. Your goal is 135, which is not a reasonable goal unless you are still in High School. Your current weight puts you at the lower end of a healthy BMI. I would suggest that you switch your focus from losing scale weight, and focus on building healthy eating and exercise habits. Building some muscle will do you so much more good than losing 9 lbs on the scale.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    According to your profile, you are 5'11 and weigh 144 lbs. Your goal is 135, which is not a reasonable goal unless you are still in High School. Your current weight puts you at the lower end of a healthy BMI. I would suggest that you switch your focus from losing scale weight, and focus on building healthy eating and exercise habits. Building some muscle will do you so much more good than losing 9 lbs on the scale.

    I didn't even bother to look at the profile before replying. But, this ^^ is very good advice. It sounds like your problem is too little muscle rather too much fat.
  • Sweet_kiwi99
    Sweet_kiwi99 Posts: 16 Member
    I'm going to chime in and agree about the struggle to lose. I've never been really "skinny" but in my twenties, if I dedicated myself to eating healthy for a week or so, the weight would just drop off. Now at 34, it is very slow going and I'm also working out like I never did around that time. It's very frustrating and slightly depressing to think I will have to be this strict for the rest of my life. Sometimes I want to say eff this and just eat what I want and be fat and happy. Unfortunately I could never be happy fat so struggling it will be.

    Also, like you I don't have a ton of weight to lose (relatively speaking). I've gained a bit over 10lbs in the past year and a half and I hate it.
  • rccourtney1
    rccourtney1 Posts: 5
    According to your profile, you are 5'11 and weigh 144 lbs. Your goal is 135, which is not a reasonable goal unless you are still in High School. Your current weight puts you at the lower end of a healthy BMI. I would suggest that you switch your focus from losing scale weight, and focus on building healthy eating and exercise habits. Building some muscle will do you so much more good than losing 9 lbs on the scale.

    Thanks for the input on building healthy eating and exercise habits. To say that this is not a reasonable weight unless I am in high school is offensive. As I mentioned in my profile, I have a small frame, tiny wrists and ankles and I previously maintained a weight 10-15 pounds lower without much effort. Your goals and body may be different than mine and I would appreciate you understanding that I am trying to reach my own goals which are right for me.
  • SteveStedge1
    SteveStedge1 Posts: 149 Member
    According to your profile, you are 5'11 and weigh 144 lbs. Your goal is 135, which is not a reasonable goal unless you are still in High School. Your current weight puts you at the lower end of a healthy BMI. I would suggest that you switch your focus from losing scale weight, and focus on building healthy eating and exercise habits. Building some muscle will do you so much more good than losing 9 lbs on the scale.

    Thanks for the input on building healthy eating and exercise habits. To say that this is not a reasonable weight unless I am in high school is offensive. As I mentioned in my profile, I have a small frame, tiny wrists and ankles and I previously maintained a weight 10-15 pounds lower without much effort. Your goals and body may be different than mine and I would appreciate you understanding that I am trying to reach my own goals which are right for me.

    I cannot imagine what a 5'11" full grown woman at 135lbs would look like. Her comment was not offensive at all. I'm sure she was genuinely concerned for your well being and trying to be helpful. The fact that YOU took offense to it tells me something..
  • rccourtney1
    rccourtney1 Posts: 5
    Wow, this thread has really gotten off the original topic. According to government weight charts, 135 pounds at my height is within the healthy range.

    http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/

    Since the thread has devolved into something unproductive, I won't be replying further here but I wonder if we as a society have gotten so used to people being so overweight that it's forgotten some people are built smaller and it's not unimaginable or worrisome to be on the low end of normal range.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    I'm very upset about my weight. I was generally someone that could maintain my weight without effort or put minimal effort in and lose weight I gained. Now I'm 34, losing weight is a struggle and it is so discouraging, I keep thinking if only I wouldn't have gained the weight, now it wouldn't be such a struggle to lose weight. I did the calorie counting and exercise counting on here for a month and lost 3 pounds, decided that I could do it without recording food intake, stopped for a week and reweighed myself only to find that I had regained all the lost weight. Now I wonder if I had just lost water weight during that time and not actually lost bodyfat.

    I gained about 14 pounds over the past few years and my goal is to just lose 9 pounds, it may not sound like a lot to some people but the extra weight is distressing to me. A lot of my clothes don't fit or don't fit the same. And my body fat percentage is high, according to my scale it is 29.8% and I believe it given how flabby I am.

    How do you get over your anger at yourself and the feeling like if I wouldn't have gained the weight I wouldn't have to do this now? Can anyone else relate to struggling to lose weight after a lifetime of not needing to worry about it?

    I just read the title.... Try harder .. end of story ... change your routine ... that might help also.
  • HEATHERACU73
    HEATHERACU73 Posts: 46 Member
    when I was in my teens and 20s, I was so skinny and thought nothing of it. Then I hit 30 and man! Why didn't anyone tell me that metabolism drops off at that time? I gained first 10 pounds, then 20 pounds, now I'm 40 and I'm 25 pounds overweight and I don't think I eat anymore excessively than I did in my 20s.

    It's just about adjusting to your body's changes. I have a feeling when I hit 60+, I'm going to start griping about that wandering pain like my parents do.

    I think it's just about adjusting the way we eat to fit our age.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Wow, this thread has really gotten off the original topic. According to government weight charts, 135 pounds at my height is within the healthy range.

    http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/

    Since the thread has devolved into something unproductive, I won't be replying further here but I wonder if we as a society have gotten so used to people being so overweight that it's forgotten some people are built smaller and it's not unimaginable or worrisome to be on the low end of normal range.

    I'm not really sure if you'll see this or what you were looking for, but I think everyone was trying to be helpful. Even if you weigh that same as you did in high school, you will not look the same. Life just doesn't work that way.

    Focusing on lowering your BF% buy increasing muscle may make you weigh more than 135, but it will also make you less flabby, and you expressed that as a concern in your OP. The days of being a naturally firm teenager are behind you.
  • Cooliobabs
    Cooliobabs Posts: 3
    I'm 56, and from experience, my mid-30's is when I had to start paying attention to my weight. I had always been slender in my teens and 20's and would put on what I called "winter weights" but it came off quickly and effortlessly when I wanted it to.

    Unfortunately a lot of things happen to us metabolically and hormonally as we age, which makes weight loss not as easy. We have to just keep trying harder to get the same result, and unfortunately it's never really the same result :grumble: I'm not telling you this to discourage you, just to let you know that you may have to adjust a few things to get to and stay at your desired weight. And when you figure out what it is . . .please share , because we would all like to know THATsecret :wink:
  • Cooliobabs
    Cooliobabs Posts: 3
    I could not agree more than with this post. I am now 54 and am desperately trying to lose 1 stone in weight. I lost 2.5 stones some 2 years ago putting back on half a stone this summer therefore now a stone to go instead of a half. Just in these two years it's become more difficult to lose.

    I was reading the weight gain section and was interested to read that people now have the same fears as I did in my 20's regarding weight gain and the fact that they do lots of weight exercises. I don't think they realise as they get older that muscle turns to flab and I for one have gone from a person with muscles on her arms from rowing and upper body exercise to flabby chicken wing arms!
    One of those things.
  • skinnythicktt
    skinnythicktt Posts: 3
    i have recently noticed the struggle as well. It use to be so much easier and maybe because i was more active but it took me a while to get that active and the weight just came off. i had surgery this year and gained about 10 pounds. i have not really been able to get it off. recently starting my fitness pal and i lost 2 pounds in 1 week and i stop taking slim quick. so i'm hoping this will helps.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Don't worry about the 9 pounds. Eat well and start lifting weights. You will be amazed at what it can do to your body by maintaining muscle and losing fat.

    If you can't get past the 9 pounds, maybe seek a therapist and discuss issues you may have with your weight and appearance.
  • rosellasweet
    rosellasweet Posts: 163 Member
    In for reading later.

    I find this interesting because I found a thread this week about women in their 40s who had no trouble losing weight. I'm 24 and I'm glad most people can lose weight easily in their 20s, but I never could until now. I've tried in the past, but unsuccessfully. This is the first time I've made a plan for weight loss and it's working. I've lost 37 pounds over almost 7 months and currently lose about .5 every week and a half. Trust me, it has not been easy. In fact, I'm almost never offended until someone tells me I'm just losing weight because I'm young. I was young before and not eating a ton of food, just high-calorie food. Now I just eat better and move more. But, we young-ins are dismissed so easily anyway.

    I hope it gets easier OP! Good luck to you.
  • airbearlover
    airbearlover Posts: 240 Member
    I have always had a hard time loosing while having an easy time gaining. I used to binge eat a lot then eat normal/ under calorie needs on other days. That killed me. Every time I wanted to lose weight I would get so depressed thinking that killer thought "If only I hadn't gained it". That thought zapped my self esteem and tore away my ammo so I would give up trying. Never stop trying.
    I stopped trying awhile back and was 7 lbs away from the 200 mark. Not near it now. Goal is 130. I am going to keep moving along. I wish you the strength to too. :)
    Ps. Have you checked your thyroid function? I have hypothyroidism and it slow down metabolism dramatically along with energy levels.

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