I need help...

asteelman4
asteelman4 Posts: 62 Member
in Getting Started
Around this time I was hoping to be able to type and show pictures of success instead of labeling this as I need help.. Life happens i suppose or the excuses i make for myself. I have had weight problems my whole life, I have stopped and started on this weight loss journey. I just want to be happy, I want to walk down the street without seeing people look over at me in disgust. Or my biggest one is go to an amusement park and actually enjoy myself again. My whole body is hurting, I have gained almost a 100 more lbs then when i started two years ago. I found out last year I had thyroid problems which i am on the right meds to fix it but i truly believe its because of my weight. I hate myself for letting me get like this, everything in my life is starting to be affected by this. My job, school, taking care of my son. I feel as though my life is sliding right through my hands, I have been going to counseling, I have been working on myself but for some reason I can not pull this change in my life together. I dont understand it, I need help, advice, something to light a fire under me! I want so bad to be healthy, I want to be able to feel normal and not struggle to just walk down the street. Im just at the bottom, and i know the only way is up but where do i even begin? I dont know how to eat healthy or cook healthy.. I want to learn how to run but im so scared of others judging me. Im sorry to come on here and blab about my sad life style but I know i have met some amazing people through this site and hoping someone somewhere could encourage me somehow someway, tough love is also okay.
Thanks for reading!

Replies

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Wow, mabye I'm reading too much tone in that post but it sounds to me like you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You don't have to be perfect to lose weight. You don't have to eat 100% healthy. It does help to make healthier choices as they tend to be lower in calories but the most important thing is portion control. For the most part I still make about the same kind of meals I always have, I just make healthier choices with the ingredients and keep my portions under control. Use leaner meats, less pasta/rice/potato, add in more veggies to bulk.

    As far as getting started, you just have to do it. Set small achievble goals for yourself and think about how you can reward yourself as well. It doesn't have to be anything major, I've heard of people buying themselves stickers that they put on a calendar. Or maybe you add a $1 (or $5 or $10) to a jar for every pound you lose and when you get to goal you buy yourself something you've always wanted. Point is, you have to think both short term and long term. For example: In the short term, I will try 3 new recipes this week. In the long term, I will be a healthier more active person.

    Have you talked to your counselor about your weight and desire to get healthy and the barriers you feel are there and why you hate yourself? A lot of people consider weight a physical issue but there is a lot of emotion involved as well. Some people (consciously or not) get heavy and stay heavy to avoid attention. Some are afraid to lose the weight because it's a huge commitment and change (I know, I was one). Losing weight may not make you happier...you have to fix the person on the inside right along with the person on the outside.

    Best of luck to you!
  • cantfail
    cantfail Posts: 169 Member
    The best gift you can give your son is a happy healthy mom. You can't beat yourself up over other people "judging" you. I heard once "You wouldn't care about what other people think of you if you knew how infrequently they did." You can do whatever you choose to do. Make small goals and make them positive. Something like "I just had a healthy breakfast. Now I WILL fast until lunch." "I WILL" goals are easier to keep than "I WON'T" goals.

    Really, you can do this. :flowerforyou:
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    :cry: I agree with the ladies above!! Stop being so hard on yourself. you don't deserve the all that. I am bad about critisizing myself, but I am slowly learning how to NOT do that. You can add me as a friend if you want. I can help motivate you :)

    Don't worry about "running" right now. Try walking on a treadmil, or outside.

    More than likely, people aren't looking at you in disgust. You might be imagining that (I'm not trying to belittle you) because YOU feel so bad about yourself :(

    Remember: YOU HAVE CONTROL! Don't think any differently. I know how hard it is to believe that, but you just have to do.

    Take baby steps. You can get there. It might take you a while but this is NOT easy. if it were, everyone would have the perfect body. Don't be scared :) Any change you make to become healthier will be a positive change and a step in the right direction, no matter how small.:drinker:
  • xxmarysmxx
    xxmarysmxx Posts: 199 Member
    Feel free to add me. I log everyday and workout. I may not eat great but the numbers are going down... Slow but down.
    I also am on Thyroid meds for the past two years.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    Imagine how you'll feel one year from today if you look back knowing today was the day you started your journey to better health. All the food/calorie/exercise resources are right here at MFP, all you have to do is embrace them and start. You can start small and work your way up. Give up something today and replace it with a healthier, lower calorie choice. Start right there. Walk around your own backyard or house for 15 minutes. I can tell you want it...................go ahead and give it to yourself.
  • Fabfitgirl5
    Fabfitgirl5 Posts: 91 Member
    ... I dont know how to eat healthy or cook healthy.. I want to learn how to run but im so scared of others judging me.

    First to be blunt F what other ppl think about you. Those ppl are not in your shoes and they are not financing, feeding or f*$%@# you so forget them! YOU CAN NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PPL WIL LTHINK OR YOU WILL BE A PRISONER IN YOUR OWN MIND FOREVER! To learn how to cook health google different recipes, websites, by the book in the checkout line with the different recipies in it.

    First- eating "healthy" is a choice. It is really more about portion and SELF control. You have to learn to find things that are good for you and are tasty or I am telling you, you wont stick with it. I am not one of those ppl to say oh just watch what you eat.. GTFOOHWT- No, you need to slowly back off the bad things and increase the healthier options. Instead of regular pizza start getting the thin crust, with light cheese and only tomatoes and chicken or brocolli on it. It is still good and it is a few less calories and less dough. It is most certainly a much healthier option than the deep dish meat lovers or supreme options.

    Before you go grocery shopping make a list of breakfast foods and items and instead of eggs, get egg whites, instead of cereal get oatmeal or even cream of wheat. Think of drinking breakfast instead of eating it. In other words, when you are in the store next time pick out a bag of spinach, some fruit -blueberries, strawberries, and pineapple- fresh is better but frozen will do and make smoothies in the AM for breakfast, yes put the spinach in the smoothie it is great and you dont taste the spinach-it just makes it green. They can be really filling. Drink about 12-14 ounces and if you still need more to eat, scramble an egg white and put it on a piece of toast (wheat preferably). And then drink a large glass of water.

    Later in the day if you are hungry eat popcorn -no butter no salt- but not a huge quantity, or wheatbles.

    Cut back on eating out as the sodium is crazy in fast food and retianing sodium can lead to water retention and that inhibits weight loss.

    All of the above are examples of things you can do to start your journey but understand that it will be just that... a journey
    Don't think you are going to start on Jan 1 and by April 1 you will be perfectly slim and free of fat, it is not that easy or that quick if you want to sustain the weight loss over time and make it a lifetime committment.

    Start off wallking, heck even take your son. If there is a place with an indoor track do that, if not then walk around your neighborhood or at a location where you feel safe and get a pedometer to track your footsteps. Start off maybe walking 5000 steps a day and go up from there. PS 5k steps is not that much, it just sounds like it is.
    The key is you HAVE TO START!!!! Just walk, then when you feel comfortable jog slowly, and then get into running, but you have to first train your body and then push it to its limits- that takes time.

    To get to where you want to be ONLY YOU CAN GET YOU THERE AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
    We can give all the advice we want but YOU have to decide to take it and make that change.

    I hope you can do it and I hope you realize that what other ppl think does not matter one bit, because NO ONE is perfect and everyone has their own issues and flaws to deal with, YES EVERYONE!
  • asteelman4
    asteelman4 Posts: 62 Member
    @Minnie :Thank you , I have talked to my counselor about it.. I am still slowly working towards it and I believe not attracting attention is a big part in it.
  • asteelman4
    asteelman4 Posts: 62 Member
    @msjackson: Thank you! You are right, so are the rest of the ladies.. I am extremely hard on myself, I think im my own worst enemy sometimes =/
  • anwylyd_un
    anwylyd_un Posts: 164 Member
    I completely agree with all the above comments and would throw one more in there - let those other people run carrying 100 lbs before they judge you! You are doing something far harder than they are every single day, so give yourself the credit for that.

    Their opinion of you doesn't matter, it's what YOU think of you that does. You have had the courage to face something you don't like, and show the determination to change it - that is a step that many people don't make.

    Kudos to you honey, you can do this :flowerforyou:
  • asteelman4
    asteelman4 Posts: 62 Member
    @Fabfit: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I needed to hear that.. I need to start one day at a time and work from there. I really have put myself in a box, and it doesnt help people around me keep pointing towards surgery because I do not want to do that when im not right with my mind yet. That will only make me loose weight but not change my thinking. In a weird way im a perfectionist, I am so hard on myself if its not just right, then i give up. I take to much on at once.. The advice i just received from all you ladies have been amazing! Thank you (:

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