NO kids and 37

_jayciemarie_
_jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hey Everyone!

I have a great group of MFP friends, and I'm searching for more. I'm trying to find people that are around my age and don't have kids. (Trust me, I don't discriminate race/gender), and plenty of my friend on here are married with kids--which is great. I'm trying to find more people like me. I think I'm in a relationship that is dissolving. (We haven't talked in days). I don't have kids--even though at 37 I really want them. I was diagnosed with PCOS--and that kind of steals away my hope from having kids. I have a hard time meeting real friends because I'm not married and I don't have kids. I'm hoping there are people out there that understand being the 3rd wheel or not fitting in. Do I sound pathetic? Probably. I just want a better life. So, if you are interested in helping me and me helping you--that would be great :)

Jaycie
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Replies

  • tottie06
    tottie06 Posts: 259 Member
    39 here with no kids. People always look at me cross-eyed when they find out that I don't. lol Am married (2nd marriage of which happened later in life). You can add me if ya like!!
  • daniellemm1
    daniellemm1 Posts: 465 Member
    I am 36 and married but do not have children, nor do I want any. I have 5 nieces and nephews with two more nieces on the way. I love being an auntie! Making friends is not easy and gets more difficult the older we get as there are not as many opportunities to meet people. You don't sound pathetic at all, it is human nature to want to have people to share your life with. My pals on this site have been absolutely vital to my success in getting fit and losing weight. Without their constant encouragement and support I would have given up a long time ago. Feel free to add me :)
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    We've been trying for 5 years, no luck. Possibly going to try clomid in February, but if it doesn't work then our efforts will halt in June, when I'll be 37.
  • spaceyplum
    spaceyplum Posts: 54 Member
    Sorry you're going through such a rough patch pal! I'm 38 with no kids (I get the stink eye on that one too but I never had a desire to have them) and getting married for the first time in my life so don't lose hope, the right guy is out there for you! You are not pathetic, I totally understand feeling like the 3rd wheel... felt that way most of my adult life. I have three close friends and I'm the second one to pair up and I realize now hard it is to juggle time with your partner, family and friends... I find myself feeling guilty because I just don't have the time to do everything. I hope you come to a decision that's best for you and your wellbeing.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Hey! Feel free to add me :-)

    I am married...but I am 37 with no kids. I am never having them (out of choice) and I do feel your pain re: friendships

    I actually find it harder being married without kids than I have at times when I was single. I tend to prefer having girlfriends that I hang out with and then hanging out with my husband, but I've never been much for hanging out with other married couples on double dates and such. It is way too hard to match up interests and personalities of FOUR people in my opinion!

    Not that we're gonna be "hanging out" on MFP - haha

    But yeah..I have found that a lot of women really don't "get it" when a woman their age doesn't have kids and they seem at a loss for things to discuss. Fortunately I do have tons of friends with kids who DO "get it" and we never run out of common interests, but I always wish I had more childfree by choice or childless friends my age. The worst for me is growing close to younger friends who are in the pre-motherhood stage and once they have kids, I hardly ever see or speak to them :-/

    Good luck!!
  • SugarPie07
    SugarPie07 Posts: 8 Member
    36 and no kids. We were trying for a long time and I'd had a couple of miscarriages. Then I found out about the affair my husband was having, so that kind of killed everything for us. I'm filing for divorce now. It's unlikely that I'll have kids at this point, even though I've always wanted to.

    <-- I guess I should change my profile picture.
  • DontWeightForMe
    DontWeightForMe Posts: 38 Member
    I don't have children but I would love to have them.:) Got married later in life. I'm doing IVF in the new year but need to lose weight as my BMI is effecting my efforts. Its a catch 22 ,the more I got stressed the more I ate.
    I have my embros literally waiting for me. Found out my hormones are out of wack and its affected my uterine lining so was not able to do transfer... I'm not looking for a pity party. I just started MFP and I'm so motivated to do this for me! Regardless of what happens...I no longer want to be unhappy because of the weight gain. I know in the end God has a plan and it will work out the way it is suppose to ( took a long time to get to this place) But, I am NOT going to wallow and continue to be fat. I really want this weight lost so bad!! I got married 2 weeks before my 38th birthday for the first time.. It will happen for you. Don't settle. Keep your heart open, stay positive and he will come.:) I would very much like to be friends. I was single for a long time.. I so get it!!!:)
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    36 and no kids. We were trying for a long time and I'd had a couple of miscarriages. Then I found out about the affair my husband was having, so that kind of killed everything for us. I'm filing for divorce now. It's unlikely that I'll have kids at this point, even though I've always wanted to.

    <-- I guess I should change my profile picture.

    Girl!! Yes.

    Move on to a better and happier life!!
  • KerryITD
    KerryITD Posts: 94 Member
    I'm older (53) and also no kids. I'm a great auntie and never needed more, but I also have PCOS so I feel your pain on that one. I got married at 42 (1st for both of us).

    Feel free to add me for support! PCOS means the weight comes off slower and takes more effort, but it can be done.
  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
    41 and no kids. Feel free to add me as a friend. You don't sound pathetic...you sound like me. :smile:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    The old (pre 1990 or so) logic dictated that most people were married and/or had babies by age 30. Not so today. It isn't abnormal to not have kids at 37.

    As a man, my perspective is slightly different than a woman's would be.

    I think the key is find others in the same place, which is easier now than ever, especially if you live in a major metropolitan area. In my city, there are tons of Meetup groups with women in their 30s/40s who are childless.

    However, there are circumstances for me as never having been married and no kids where I am made to feel out of place. I avoid those situations as much as possible.
  • BeckyD1105
    BeckyD1105 Posts: 444 Member
    No kids and 36. I get the stink eye as well, but oh well. I try to avoid situations where I am the third wheel, but sometimes it happens (work parties are fabulous for that one!) Feel free to add me if you like.
  • spickard34
    spickard34 Posts: 303 Member
    Add me 31 married no kids and no desire to have them. I am very sorry you can not though. I will be your friend and help you out :)
  • SpookyElectric
    SpookyElectric Posts: 56 Member
    Also 37, single, no kids! Nor do I want any - as my mother puts it, I have "all the maternal instinct of a killer shark"... Harsh, but fair!

    Most of my friends are paired off now - I still spend time with them, but yes, people can treat you a little differently being the only singleton with no interest in children!

    At least at 37, people have stopped telling me that I'll change my mind about having kids when I meet the right man! Silver linings! :laugh:

    Add me if you like.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,267 Member
    Friend me... 37, no kids and out there dating like a champ. I am constantly begging friends to go out b/c they are married or with kids they can't. It is hard making friends at this age anyway, but take away the fact you don't have the "kid factor", there is less in common with these women than 10 yearsa go.
    Friend me!
  • alexandriax03
    alexandriax03 Posts: 289 Member
    Adoption!! A child in need would be honored to have you as their mommy :)
  • jessgumkowski88
    jessgumkowski88 Posts: 189 Member
    Hey! I'm only 20, so I know we've got a couple years between us. but I have PCOS too! And on top of that another medical condition that takes that small chance of having kids and makes it virtually zero.

    I totally know how hard weight loss is with PCOS! Feel free to add me :)

    Edit: haha in noting my chances of kids, I thought I should probably also note that I wasn't really looking to have any anyways... especially anytime soon xD
  • Rogue_77
    Rogue_77 Posts: 2 Member
    Hi, I'm 36 with no kids and not married
    In a relationship he has Mcad so he wants
    Kids but doesn't like me, I have some family
    Health issues that has skipped me but might
    Not skip kids if I had them.
  • Ben1830
    Ben1830 Posts: 7 Member
    I'm a 37 year old husband, and we don't have kids...perhaps someday. I'm trying to meet nice & fun people on here to pass the time while I try to loose weight. I've also had difficulty meeting friends out in the real world to work out with, but I enjoy doing spin to work out in a group setting. It's good to have nice connections with some of the people on this site, so if you're looking for another good MPF friend, feel free to add me...
  • jcdoerr
    jcdoerr Posts: 172 Member
    Nothing pathetic about feeling the way you do. There are lots of us out here who identify with you, just look at everyone who responded! I just turned the big 4-0 this year and couldn't be happier. No kids here either, but I chose to focus on building a great career so that part just didn't happen for me. Sending you a FR, I'm on here every day and always try to offer words of encouragement. Cheer up and best of luck to you!
  • 86myHeadache
    86myHeadache Posts: 44 Member
    Friend me, I'm 38 no kids and never been married. Life is circling back to my old dreams for me.
  • Darkaller
    Darkaller Posts: 317 Member
    I'm 32 with no kids and single. Its a complete double whammy for me at times but sometimes it feels like a gift from god. I usually depends on the company I keep.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    So - not to veer off topic but I want to say that I'm 29, one daughter, trying for another, and recently married.

    I have no good friends with kids. Some of my friends are recently married. The others are single. I have the opposite problem of you. I am ALWAYS searching for mom friends and feel out of place sometimes with my others. Not as far as things to talk about but just on things that we can do with kids......

    Compeltely different end of the spectrum that I never took a moment to realize how people without kids feel about people who do in this context lol. BTW I do throw myself pity parties about not having good mom friends lol
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    Though I have a daughter, feel free to add me since about 50% of my clients are either unmarried/married without children and we have great conversations that don't include children.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • wayback63
    wayback63 Posts: 210
    I am married and have a son who's 12. Turned 50 this year, and want to get in better shape to keep up with him. Too many years spent travelling around the globe for work takes it's toll physically. I'm not travelling as much and as a result have an easier time keeping on track with healthy choices.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    wow!, lucky you, no kids!
  • QuincyChick
    QuincyChick Posts: 269 Member
    Feel free to add me (any of you!)

    33/f/. Single, never married, no kids.
  • slimmerchick
    slimmerchick Posts: 189 Member
    Hi

    I am 42 married with no kids although have two adult step children who were 4 and 1 when I met their Dad. He didn't want any more and I knew that (we met 20 years ago). I've buckled a few times but at the end of the day he is who I wanted to be with, and still do. There was no way I was going to leave him because I wanted children - it was never a big dream of mine, I think occasionally my body clock overwhelmed me, together with a natural maternal desire that I think a lot of people experience. I do feel like I am not normal, because most women have them or are expected to and I hate it when celebrities (and others) hark on about how having kids is the best thing that ever happened to them,

    My husband and I are happily married and I know plenty of people who drift completely apart when they have kids. I have a great relationship with my step children and look forward to being a granny to their children when the time come (if it does). I do often wish they were really mine though. I did spend the best part of my 20's and 30's helping to raise them though so I should feel I had some involvement in how they turned out!

    I think facebook rubs it in a lot - years ago people just got on with parenting quietly, but now there are photos and stories shoved in your face all the time about how great their offspring are!! Drives me mad!

    Happy to have more friends if anyone would like to add me!
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    38 & no kids here/never married but want both! Anyone can add me as a friend: )
    I know that "third wheel" feeling well. Right now I'm not quite ready to start dating again & want to lose a little more before getting back out there; then again I'm bored and will reconsider over the weekend?! Hoping 2014 will be full of great men to date and hopefully finding the right guy once & for all!
  • Tobi1013
    Tobi1013 Posts: 732 Member
    I'm 38, in a relationship, and don't have (nor do I want) kids. My BF doesn't want them either, so my desire not to have children has never been a problem in our relationship. I am perfectly happy to be an amazing aunt to my gorgeous niece and mom to my fur kids (a cat and a dog)! Feel free to add me!!

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