I'm scared for my health

Recently, I have been feeling really breathless if I so much as climb a flight of stairs. I have been getting pretty horrid headaches and I've been feeling generally unwell and very depressed. I know I have put on weight again, but I didn't want to go the GP for a checkover.
I joined a gym on Monday and went for my induction. Before the induction, they like to weigh and take blood pressure.My blood pressure was was 165/92. they said they couldn't allow me into the gym without a GP clearance.
So I went to my GP today and had my checks.
Blood pressure was 170/80. Lungs sounded clear but GP felt she heard a systolic murmur. My weight has shot from 117kg last year to 129 kg.That's 18 stones to 20 stones 4lbs.
I am so disgusted with myself i just want to cry.
Tomorrow morning, I'm going for my chest xray. Thursday I start a fast to do a fasting blood test on Friday morning t check for Diabetes.. A request has gone to local hospital for an ECG and I have been referred to a Health Trainer. Part of the Change For life campaign.

I am quite simply extremely scared. How did I become so Morbidly obese. 20 years ago I used to be a track and field athlete. I ran everywhere, played netball, badminton, danced the night away every weekend. When did I become this blob that sits in an armchair?

I'm so depressed. To make it worse I'm going on holiday to Mexico in 4 weeks. I'm scared the seatbelt won't go around me!!!

Replies

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Awe big hugs to you. Hardest thing when you hit the low point in your life, but I've got good news for you it's not over! You are still breathing, and change can happen you can reverse or at least halt some of the damage.

    Be scared though and use it as that driving force. Youre making the first steps you realize there is a problem. Now it's time for the hard work, and time to get serious about you.
  • That's why we're all here
    We're all trying to change our lives in a positive way. Just remember you're not alone.
  • Carnivor0us
    Carnivor0us Posts: 1,752 Member
    I understand how you feel. I used to be pretty athletic and then I gained a ton of weight.

    Just don't quit! That's what I tell myself when I'm feeling depressed. Never quit! If you do, you'll never get anywhere!

    Message me if you'd like.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    You've made the important first step. Getting your health issues checked out and hopefully on a plan to resolve them. Good for you.

    Don't try and make big changes all at once. Start out with getting your diet in order. Eat the foods you enjoy, but eat at a calorie deficit. Then, slowly add some exercise that you enjoy. Just keep doing this every day. Nothing overwhelming is going to happen in 4 weeks. No doubt you will drop some weight, but probably not like you want to.

    Go and get some clothes that look good on you NOW. Seat belts on airplanes can be managed. Then, go and enjoy your vacation. Have some fun. When you get home, get back to your plan. Good luck.
  • bacitracin
    bacitracin Posts: 921 Member
    Crawl til you're strong enough to walk. Walk til you're strong enough to run. Then run and don't stop. :) fall down 7 times, stand up 8.

    begin+moving.jpg
  • cocodrops
    cocodrops Posts: 14 Member
    Thank you all.
    I read all the posts and cried. Yikes, I'm an emotionlal mess!! Just did my AM blood pressure. Adjusting my settings with curent wieght and measurements. Oh dear. But least I don't have to look at my old measurements anymore. Having my coffee and oat muffin then off to the hospital to get chest xray.

    Thank you for all your words of encouragement. I needed that little boost this morning. I will need to find a way to encourage myself each day.
    If you don't mind Bacitracin. I am going to copy your phrase and pin it on my wardrobe. It's a nice motivator.

    Have a good day everyone.
  • nilleah
    nilleah Posts: 177
    You can do this. We are here to help you! Please add me as a friend. I would LOVE to help support and motivate you in any way I can coco. Message me any time. I have a wonderful ear for listening and a strong shoulder to lean on my friend. <3 xoxo
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    Sending you a hug today. That's all I came here to say. :flowerforyou:
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Recently, I have been feeling really breathless if I so much as climb a flight of stairs. I have been getting pretty horrid headaches and I've been feeling generally unwell and very depressed. I know I have put on weight again, but I didn't want to go the GP for a checkover.
    I joined a gym on Monday and went for my induction. Before the induction, they like to weigh and take blood pressure.My blood pressure was was 165/92. they said they couldn't allow me into the gym without a GP clearance.
    So I went to my GP today and had my checks.
    Blood pressure was 170/80. Lungs sounded clear but GP felt she heard a systolic murmur. My weight has shot from 117kg last year to 129 kg.That's 18 stones to 20 stones 4lbs.
    I am so disgusted with myself i just want to cry.
    Tomorrow morning, I'm going for my chest xray. Thursday I start a fast to do a fasting blood test on Friday morning t check for Diabetes.. A request has gone to local hospital for an ECG and I have been referred to a Health Trainer. Part of the Change For life campaign.

    I am quite simply extremely scared. How did I become so Morbidly obese. 20 years ago I used to be a track and field athlete. I ran everywhere, played netball, badminton, danced the night away every weekend. When did I become this blob that sits in an armchair?

    I'm so depressed. To make it worse I'm going on holiday to Mexico in 4 weeks. I'm scared the seatbelt won't go around me!!!

    I know it is scary as hell, but you WILL get through this!

    When I started at the gym almost 2 years ago, I was morbidly obese-- 5'2" tall, 228.4lbs, and had just come off a 4 month cycle of asthma flares and bronchitis. My breathing was so bad that I had to pull over one day while driving because my vision was getting fuzzy . Walking 2mph on the treadmill for 30 minutes had my whole body on fire and dripping with sweat. I have been pre-diabetic, and changed it through diet.

    I'm still morbidly obese, but I am 37lbs lighter. I have dropped all my asthma meds except my albuterol inhaler ( I use it before every workout). I have nice arm muscles, I have awesome legs, and I am starting to get stomach muscles!!

    the left is me in 2010, I went on to gain another 30lbs, so I was BIGGER than that. The picture on the right is back in august or september--same shirt!

    10035269906_47277afec6.jpg
    Untitled by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

    this was a week ago. I am flexing a little so I can see my abs.
    10857455026_4d003227d4.jpg
    #fitspo #hardworkwins #nevergiveup #notacardiobunny by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

    this was also last week. I can't believe I have leg muscles!
    10861448183_785538b1a7.jpg
    #yesisquat # musclemama by crochetmom2010, on Flickr
  • FOCUS! Don't lose hope or sight. Force yourself to really get out there and start doing! Make a statement to eat clean.

    "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing" - Teddy Roosevelt

    Good luck!
  • nantnet
    nantnet Posts: 17 Member
    I love that "Crawl til you're strong enough to walk. Walk til you're strong enough to run. Then run and don't stop." :)

    fall down 7 times, stand up 8.".

    I think I am going to put that on my wall if you don't mind.
  • loconnor466
    loconnor466 Posts: 215 Member
    Coco,

    You have taken the first steps to change your lifestyle. Getting to the doctors and posting here for support. Which by the way, the support and genuine caring that I have seen here since I joined last week is amazing! We are all here for the same reasons, to live a healthier life. Feel free to add me as a friend, we all need support. We can do this together, slowly and healthy!
  • uamelia
    uamelia Posts: 23 Member
    This is the perfect time to start! Reality hit you hard and it is the moment to get motivated and make a change! Number one for your health and number two so you can feel better off yourself. Don't torture yourself, you still on time to make a difference. That is how I started also, I went to for my annual exam and my bloodpressure was sky high, my blood test were all messed up and I hated how I looked. At that moment I promise myself I wasn't going to let it happen anymore and I started setting up goals. I been working out for 4months and it is comming off slowly but surely and I feel so much better. Plus my bloodpressure came down :-) Don't give up!!!!
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    This definitely gets better and you will get stronger. When I started this in Feb of 2012 after a Dr visit where she said blood pressure meds for me at the age of 34, I knew I had to change some things drastically. My blood sugar was a bit high too.

    I started out at 234lbs at 5'6 and could not walk a full mile with a hill without getting winded, or stairs, etc. At first I got really upset that I let it get to that point and then pissed that it seemed insurmountable to hit my goal weight. I had a little chat with someone who told me the best advice I got through any of this...."fake it til you make it and set smaller goals."

    I then moved forward day by day. I doubted that I would be able physically to do alot of things, but I took the approach that if I walked 1 mile the day before, I would walk 1 mile plus a little the next day....in 2.5 months I was walking a good 8 miles in a day. Then I switched to kickboxing and hit my first goal of 165lbs and kept going from there and upping my intensity til I got to where I could run a good 5 miles.(not super fast, but I can still make the distance.....almost cried after my first 5k)

    You will get there and give yourself credit for making the first step and being honest with yourself about your starting point. Things will get easier and you will get stronger....just have faith that you can do it. Best wishes!
  • lunglady
    lunglady Posts: 526 Member
    As a physician, I'm proud of you for facing reality and not going into denial. Now that you have accepted that you have a problem, you have the power to change. I wish you luck.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    hugs ! we're all here, we all started in a *bad* place

    Can i suggest something?

    stop with the "disgusted with myself" rants. stop thinking of yourself as a blob.

    you are a person. using those ^^ kinds of words just makes you feel worse about yourself, and then it's a spiral ("how did i let this happen? i'll never lose the weight! i migth as well just eat what i want" blah blah blah)

    You're a person, not a blob.

    You're a person, not disgusting.

    you will start NOW and make a better life for yourself. stop worrying - if the seatbelt won't fit, then you'll get an extension. you won't die from embarrassment. Meanwhile focus on your food and ask your GP if you are allowed to do any kind of exercise (walking? C25K? swimming) but really, focus on the food because that's where you will lose the weight. once you start to lose, you will start to feel better - less breathless.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    I have been where you are at! It gets better!!!!

    But, only with a commitment to change, a plan, and the dedication to follow through!

    The best part, you can start today. No gym and no Doctor required to start down a new path.

    As you are on this site, log everything! Food & exercise, no matter how small & insignificant it may seem for either. Keep your diary closed if you want. The logging is to start your education. If you are at all like I was, you will be shocked when you start to see the "cost" of how you have been eating.

    Then, start making small changes. (Remove some thing negative from your diet) The first I made was to say good-bye to carbonated, sugar loaded soft drinks. (Coke was my nemesis). What ever change you chose, stick with it for at least a month. By then, this change will be a habit. Then make another change and keep it up for at least a month. As you keep repeating this process it becomes easier and the changes in your life will be astounding.

    As you start making these small diet changes. Start adding in positive changes, drink more water, walk more, take the stairs when ever possible, go for bike rides, join a fitness class, join a dance class, etc, etc. The possibilities are endless and the best part is that you can try many different things to find something that works for you. What ever you chose must be fun for you! If it's not fun, it will be hard to keep it up over the long haul.

    At the beginning it will not be easy! You will sweat, you will get tired, you will feel frustrated, you will stumble from time to time. All of this is normal. But, always keep you focus on your goals!

    Another thing that helped me. Have both short & long term goals. My initial long term goal was to drop to 180 lbs (This seemed crazy when I weighed over 280 lbs). My short term goals varied. One of my most rewarding was my initial running goal. The circuit around my little neighborhood is 3k. My first running goal was to run this route with out stopping. It took me several months to get there, but I did it! Then, once this was achieved, I re-set my short term goal and started over! I went from 3k to 5k to 10k to 21k to running a full marathon this past Sept.

    Last thought before I go. Lots of people will be giving you advice. (Me included!) Some of it will be valuable, some of it will be useless. My council is to never, ever give up on your personal goals! Investigate, read, research, listen and most important, try! In the end, your success is based solely on your efforts.

    All my very best for your journey!
  • schonsdragon
    schonsdragon Posts: 102 Member
    You have taken the first step. You decided that you needed to do something to get healthy again.

    Nowe take a deep breathe. You didn't gain all the weight in one day so it will take time to lose it. Set small goals and focus on them and as you achieve them celebrate them and then set another small goal. You will lose your motivation, you will become discouraged, you will backslide but as long as you don't give up you will succeed.

    A few useful hints: prelog your food and adjust afterwards to what you did eat, schedule a time for excerise everyday then do it, drink mainly water, if you have the opprtunity to move or be idle- move, and listen to your body to discover what works for you and what doesn't.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    Sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom in order to pick yourself off the floor. Get cleared from your doctor and then its time to get to work. The only thing that can stop you is yourself.