Lack of support

ahkunkel
ahkunkel Posts: 68
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
Do any of you have a spouse who isn't necessarily supportive of your healthy lifestyle? It's not that my husband doesn't want me to lose weight, but he makes it so difficult sometimes. He fills the house with junk food, encourages (and almost pressures) me to cheat on my diet, and makes a big stink out me going to the gym because then we dont spend time together. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is really difficult for me and the constant negativity makes it 10x harder. Does anyone else deal with this and how what can I do to make it better?

Replies

  • tim_fitbuilt4life
    tim_fitbuilt4life Posts: 301 Member
    You may want to start by encourage him to come along to the gym or you can bring the gym home with P90X, Turbo Fire, Insanity, Body Gospel or some of the other home workout programs. Check out www.fitbuilt4life.net for the details. Good luck.
  • asallen7
    asallen7 Posts: 301
    I have dealt with that and agree that its very hard to deal with. One thing I've realized is that no amount of effort will change the other person, so I have be committed to doing this for me in spite of them. My husband has come around a little bit since he sees that I'm more committed. He will still buy unhealthy foods, but tries to keep them out of my way. He also buys and looks for healthy foods and treats for me and I really appreciate that. At first you will have to be extra diligent about sticking with it. Once I lost desire for extra junk, it bothered me much less. Now I still have the occasional splurge moment that I later regret, but they are few and far between. I still think it annoys him that pay attention to the calorie counts of everything and that I am committed to working out, however I have to live a life that I am personally comfortable with living whether he likes it or not.

    Hang in there!

    Also he might think you're fine just the way you are. I know my hubby says that alot, but I have lot more weight on than you.
  • charlichickxx
    charlichickxx Posts: 26
    YEP... well... not as badly as that. I dont live with my boyfriend. We have been together a year and because im generally confident and he loves me the way i am he finds it hard that i need to do this for my heath more than aything else. Everytime i see him hes trying to order out rubbish and feed me high calorie foods...

    The solution... I done a mini fake-cry and he has since (for 2 weeks cooked me HEALTHY stuff!) he has also stopped commenting on the gym.

    In your case I would suggest to keep strong, he will get used to you spending time at the gym (also remind him there is no reason why he can't join you if he wants to!) And clear out the snack cuboard. If he wants it, he buys it and he hides it in a place you wont come across on a daily basis. Keep at it and on his case and he will get used to it and see just how much you want it. Most guys dont support at first because they believe its a phase... you have to show him its not and he should swing onto your side!!
  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
    Marriage is a partnership - talk to your partner about partnering with YOU on your goals - the way I am sure you do with his. Tell him you want to life a long, healthy life WITH him. Get him to join you at the gym - so he can live a long, healthy life WITH YOU! Learn some new recipes so you can cook yummy food that he will love too. Put your foot down - no junk allowed in the house! If he wants to eat it - he can do so outside of your home! Good luck!
  • charlichickxx
    charlichickxx Posts: 26
    Another idea is to buy him a new computer game?? 7/10 guys actually admitted they'd rather play their computers than watch a film with their other halves!! ... just a thought lol!
  • watkinsc
    watkinsc Posts: 177 Member
    Maybe if you told him how and why this is important to you. I've found that just sincerely explaining, that I am going to spend an hour a day on the exercise bike, and I am only going to bring home healthy foods, and prepare healthy foods is just how it is for me. I'm not pressuring anyone else in the house (2 teens and boyfriend) to follow my lead. In return, they can bring whatever they want into the house and eat it, just don't pressure me. I still get teased from time to time, but it's getting better...
  • leighshutter
    leighshutter Posts: 9 Member
    My husband was the same way. I have been going on "this" diet and "that" diet for years so when I brought up the subject again he's like, "Whatever." This time, though, I sat him down and had a conversation about what his support means to me. I had to be very specific about what I expected of him (which meant being doubly honest to myself about what is going to set off my binge eating) and also about what my health means to the both of us. I want to be able to grow old together and to do things together after we retire, but I can't do those things if I'm bedridden or stuck in the house because of some illness or another. I think sometimes our men see us as so strong we don't need their help. We do. So it's important that he knows that. PS After you have this conversation, he may buy you workout equipment for your bday to show his "support." He's not telling you you're fat, this is just what men do to feel like they're "helping." Sigh.
  • NYIceQueen
    NYIceQueen Posts: 1,423
    Yeah, my marriage is basically over, so there's no support on the diet front....so I just have tried to work around it...limiting portions, measuring out, etc.

    I rejoined our old gym behind his back, and will be going while the toddler's at school.

    Best revenge for a non-supportive spouse is to get all sexified! :laugh: See how supportive they'll be THEN!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories