Vicious Cycle...

are you making it too difficult for yourself when you're dieting? Do you have an "all or nothing" mentality? - both of these are common reasons why people find it hard to keep going for the long haul.

try to focus on long term success... make changes that are easy for you to stick to, and you don't have to make all the changes at once. Have a calorie goal that's going to give you room to enjoy the foods you want to enjoy while staying within your calories. Focus on portion control rather than eliminating foods. Do exercise that you enjoy and know you'll be able to stick to. Work on getting into good habits, e.g. doing exercise, tracking your food.

Also, don't fall into all or nothing thinking. If you slip up or have a bad day.... forgive yourself and get back on with the plan. One bad day isn't going to screw you up in the long term and doesn't mean you've failed already. If people took that attitude with babies learning to walk they'd say "oh, he fell over, looks like walking just isn't something he's ever going to be good at" - how many times do babies fall over? They just get up and carry on, even if they're hurt, after they're picked up and cuddled they carry on trying. So be like that. You fall down, then you get up again and don't get into negative self talk either. You fall down you say "ooops! time to get back on track" and not "oh I'm so stupid, I'm a failure, I can't do this, no point trying" etc etc. How you talk to yourself and how you view slip-ups plays a big part in how easily you give up.

Instead of setting targets to lose x lbs, set targets for long term compliance with your lifestyle changes.... i.e. one week, three weeks, one month, three months, six months, one year, etc. If you focus on this and your calorie goal is set right (you can always adjust it if it's not) then weight loss will happen. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint.

First, you are being too hard on yourself. You are likely your own worst critic.

Second, set small goals. Get close to your eating goals one meal at a time. Exercise one workout at a time.

Third, Realize that you are a great person who has already made progress. If you have a 5000+ calorie day due to excessive alcohol consumption (Like I did two days ago) Enjoy the heck out of it and get back to your goals one meal at a time, one workout at a time.

You will not always have motivation. That is where character comes in. “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” -Lao Tzu-

Cheers!

I use too feel like that a lot.



Only you are going to be able to do this. No one can do it for you. Don't over complicate this don't eat too little, or extreme fad diets be reasonable and gentle with yourself.

Thank you for this, great advice and great analogy of a baby walking, love it!