My rant...because this really just irked me!

blh_1010
blh_1010 Posts: 284 Member
edited September 22 in Fitness and Exercise
So I went two weekends ago to a friends house. Since I knew we would be going out and eating poorly, I brought my hand weights. So I drove the 5 hours to her house from my work leaving at 5. I got there around 11p.m. (stopped to get food and due to traffic) and we watched some TV and she had ordered pizza for us before I had gotten there and before I knew she was going to do it. It was nice of her, but bad for me. I had already eaten out on the way there, and she had known that. So the next morning I decided to get up, and while she was taking her shower and doing her hair and make up, I did some workouts. I used my weights and did some crunchs. She saw me and told me I had become a workoutaholic and that she knows quite a few people who are and that it is scary and that I needed to stop. She told me basically that I had way over done it these last few months and that intervention (a show) needed to be called on me. I told her that I only work out for about an hour a day...and some days I don't get too...plus since we are going out it will give me more cals to actually eat/drink that evening. She said she was worried about me and that I needed to get some help because I didn't need to lose anymore weight.
OK so first off I am 155lbs and I am 5'8"...I can get down to 142lbs and still be at an ideal weight. I am at the lowest weight of my adult life and I feel pretty awesome about that. WHY would a friend say something like that? Like she is a really great friend of mine and has usually been supported of things in my life. I have been getting it from family members as well...but more so in the ways of "you need to eat more"..."you're becomeing just bones...we need to get some fat on you"...
Idk what to say or do in these matters without offending the other person.

Has this ever happened to you all? and if so what did you do/say/or how did you deal with it? It has really thrown me for a loop, honestly :(

Replies

  • Amarillo_NDN
    Amarillo_NDN Posts: 1,018 Member
    Friends and/or GF - BF can be our worst problems when it comes to losing fat.
  • twnzmom
    twnzmom Posts: 182 Member
    Maybe she's a little jealous that you have made these healthy changes and she feels a little left behind. You know what your weight range is suppose to be and you know how you feel when you workout so don't let anyone else interfere with you. I think it is amazing that you were planning ahead and doing what you needed to do so that you could enjoy a few extras for the day. Keep it up you're doing great.
  • jhandley
    jhandley Posts: 118
    Jealousy is usually the first reason for someone to behaive like this. And if she's thinner than you, don't think for a second she still can't be jealous of you!
  • amyv1983
    amyv1983 Posts: 9 Member
    This has never happend to me but it sounds like your friend might be jealous. Is she bigger than you? Perhaps she has a few pounds to loose? I have a friend that has lost a significant amount of weight this year and she works her butt off to be the way she is. I have heard some of our friends make negative comments about "all we ever talk about is loosing weight or working out or eating healthy" those are usually the ones not doing it themselves or are jealous of her success. I on the other hand took a different approach. Her weight loss has inspired me to become healthy myself because i watched her transformations. I think you need to tell your friend that it is very hurtful that she is not more supportive of you. That you work very hard to get to where you are now and you are at a HEALTHY weight. Good luck and congrats on your success!
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    Sorry I only know how to say things that would offend her. So I am of no help but wanted to let you know that I hear you.
  • championnfl
    championnfl Posts: 324 Member
    Do you want us to listen or respond?

    Response.......Keep doing what your doing..she just doesn't want to Have a healthy lifestyle & wants others in her same boat,easier to surround yourself with others that are the same then look at yourself and things you should be doing! Set the example, matbe she will come around....:wink:
  • RMariaT
    RMariaT Posts: 35 Member
    sounds to me that your friend has a touch of the green eyed monster.
    Don't let her comments stop you from working out.
    I would tell her with a smile on my face how great I feel and will continue to work out.
    I would also tell her that her habbits are will make her age quickly.:o)
  • soze
    soze Posts: 604 Member
    First of all, I think you have a wonderful friend and I mean that. Friends and family can be our worst enemy. I've been guilty of it before. Stay true to your mission. Tell your friend that you appreciate her concern but you are well within your weight chart. Show her the chart if necessary.

    I'm 6 ft. and my chart states I should weigh between 184.4 and 136. That 136 seems quite low to me. However If you are 5'8" you should be quite good at 142.

    For some strange reason people have a tendency to worry more about being to skinny in America when that isn't our problem at all.
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    I have this problem with my family, specifically dear old Mom and Dad. Just stay focused. Understand, some people will NEVER be supportive, and others are going to be downright critical or hostile. :huh: Focus, focus, focus....Keep your eye on the prize!:bigsmile:
  • FelipaJ
    FelipaJ Posts: 71
    Maybe she's a little jealous that you have made these healthy changes and she feels a little left behind. You know what your weight range is suppose to be and you know how you feel when you workout so don't let anyone else interfere with you. I think it is amazing that you were planning ahead and doing what you needed to do so that you could enjoy a few extras for the day. Keep it up you're doing great.

    Ditto.
  • Evarell
    Evarell Posts: 143 Member
    Yes! Years ago, when I was in the best shape of my life, my dear cousin said she thought I was too skinny. I wasn't- I was slim and muscular, and near the top of my ideal weight range. (No more, :( but that's another story.)

    I think it's that people get used to seeing us a certain way, and when we drastically change our behavior and, especially, our looks, it feels like they don't know us anymore.

    Give her some time to adjust to the modified you, and try not to let it bother you in the mean time. She'll probably come around eventually.
  • siggia
    siggia Posts: 7 Member
    I would write this on ignorance on their behalf. Some people need to work out harder and plan their meals while others just seem to have fast metabolism and don't have to worry about it that much. A workout of an hour a day of some sort is considered ideal for an average person, NOT a disorder. You should show those people pictures of women who completely overdo it, just google "fitness women" or something like it. In my book, real women have curves, while those beefed up women are addicted to fitness which has just gone wrong.

    Keep doing what you do and what makes you feel right. Gather information online on what is considered healthy and inform your friends and family. Show them that you are right, that you don't suffer from some sort of anorexic disorder, and they should support you in your endevour.

    My two cents.
  • Kath712
    Kath712 Posts: 1,263 Member
    Maybe she's a little jealous that you have made these healthy changes and she feels a little left behind. You know what your weight range is suppose to be and you know how you feel when you workout so don't let anyone else interfere with you. I think it is amazing that you were planning ahead and doing what you needed to do so that you could enjoy a few extras for the day. Keep it up you're doing great.

    Ditto, too!
  • soze
    soze Posts: 604 Member
    Yes! Years ago, when I was in the best shape of my life, my dear cousin said she thought I was too skinny. I wasn't- I was slim and muscular, and near the top of my ideal weight range. (No more, :( but that's another story.)

    I think it's that people get used to seeing us a certain way, and when we drastically change our behavior and, especially, our looks, it feels like they don't know us anymore.

    Give her some time to adjust to the modified you, and try not to let it bother you in the mean time. She'll probably come around eventually.

    I agree!

    I cannot call it jealousy from here.
  • Sparklewolfie
    Sparklewolfie Posts: 271
    Tell her "thank you for your concern but I already talked with my doctor about it, and I am doing fine"

    At least that is what I would do.... it sounds like she is jealous or afraid that she herself isn't being as healthy as she should be, but I am non-confrontational and would never call her on that. So in this case, I would prefer a white lie over sabotaging a friendship. OR, you can actually go talk to your doctor (or call your doctor) about it JUST in case your friend is right :smile: Sometimes an outsider opinion is needed! Plus then you wouldn't even be lying

    Hope you guys will be able to stay friends!
  • teasdino
    teasdino Posts: 228 Member
    Ok, well you did say that you are the lowest you have been in your adult life. Maybe the people around you are just not used to seeing you healthy and think you look skinny. Its more misconception..maybe?
    You could go 2 ways with your friend. The crusty way would be to tell her that you like the body you are in and dont want to take meds when you are older. That you dont starve yourself or obsess over every morsel that you eat....your just healthier. You enjoy life and want to have adventures and want to be in shape to have them. And ..the crusty part.. 'if' she wanted your help you would be more than happy to help her...lol. You could omit the crusty part to go the nice way ;-}
    The bald truth of it is that there will always be some one with an opinion on your lifestyle. When my hub was in the army you would not believe how many people gave me serious grief because I did 'not' drink. I just dont have any desire to drink..thats all. Just do what you know to be the best for you!
    jac
  • ErinMarie25
    ErinMarie25 Posts: 733 Member
    Agreed with jealously postings. Friends will say anything without "trying" to be hurtful simply because they are jealous. I would just laugh it off and ignore her. You know what you are doing and it's great!
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