Question for fitness gurus and fellow losees alike.

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asw94
asw94 Posts: 2
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been trying to lose weight for some time now, and nothing seems to work. My weight dwindles, and then plateaus. There is a history of thyroid problem in my family and I'm going to see my OBGYN on the 4th of December to get things checked out.

However, my question to everyone is:

Is it discouraging to constantly remind someone who is trying to lose weight that they need to lose weight?

I've been trying so hard for so long now, and I'll get to a point when I'm proud, I feel like I'm finally doing something -- and then one of my family members will tell me that I need to exercise when I am. It COMPLETELY discourages me from what I'm doing. Just today, as I was opting out of eating a donut like my family members were, my mother tells me that she's concerned for my health and that she's surprised I don't have diabetes.

Swinging back around to the question here, when is enough enough as far as constructive criticism goes and where should you draw the line? I'm afraid to sit down and tell my mom that those things are hurtful and make me want to stop doing what I'm doing, but it really eats at me.

Replies

  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I would sit down with your family and tell them. They won't know how to be supportive of your efforts until you tell them what you need. If they still keep up the discouraging remarks, then you'll just have to learn to ignore it and find your support elsewhere (like here). I avoid negative people myself. I just spend less and less time around people who bring me down. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • asw94
    asw94 Posts: 2
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    Thank you very much! I think I'm going to try and sit her down this weekend so that I won't have my dad and brother trying to jump in on it. Thank you again. :smile:
  • amysgottadothisthang
    amysgottadothisthang Posts: 116 Member
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    Stay sweet and just keep doing your best! :wink:
  • moonmistmm
    moonmistmm Posts: 178 Member
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    First of all, it is difficult to lose weight. I've been plateauing like crazy. If the GYN says it isn't your thyroid, reevaluate what you've been doing so far. It can be easy to eat more than you think. If it is thyroid, it'll probably take a while to get that stabilized.

    Does your family see you going to work out and eating healthy? If that's largely private, then they have may have no idea. So invite them to go on a walk with you, or cook a healthy dinner together.

    And specifically in the case of your mom, she's trying to help, I guess. How's her own health and weight? If what she is saying bothers you, tell her! Explain that you are trying to become healthier, and you would like her support. Maybe she could help by doing things like keeping donuts out of the house?

    Bottom line: People express their "concerns," even if they have a weight problem themselves. If they see you changing your lifestyle, maybe they will stop. If they don't, talk to them! And if they don't stop after that, then they're jerks.
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    ^^^This! :)
  • Gonzafitness
    Gonzafitness Posts: 76
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    First of all, it is difficult to lose weight. I've been plateauing like crazy. If the GYN says it isn't your thyroid, reevaluate what you've been doing so far. It can be easy to eat more than you think. If it is thyroid, it'll probably take a while to get that stabilized.

    Does your family see you going to work out and eating healthy? If that's largely private, then they have may have no idea. So invite them to go on a walk with you, or cook a healthy dinner together.

    And specifically in the case of your mom, she's trying to help, I guess. How's her own health and weight? If what she is saying bothers you, tell her! Explain that you are trying to become healthier, and you would like her support. Maybe she could help by doing things like keeping donuts out of the house?

    Bottom line: People express their "concerns," even if they have a weight problem themselves. If they see you changing your lifestyle, maybe they will stop. If they don't, talk to them! And if they don't stop after that, then they're jerks.

    Yep, I love the overweight fitness gurus. they make me lol ^^^
  • chellebublz
    chellebublz Posts: 568 Member
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    Definitely tell her that her words are hurtful! If you don't tell her, she may not realize it. Better to make sure she knows than to keep feeling hurt all the time. Good luck!
  • jensiegel39
    jensiegel39 Posts: 163 Member
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    So, let me get this straight. You're letting your family have control over you and your efforts to improve your health? Why would you let them discourage you? If they're not supportive or don't realize your efforts, find some others who are. I have a lot of support, but it has grown exponentially since joining MFP. Don't allow them to treat you that way. I have an aunt who always works in a dig about my weight. I have little to do with her. I finally told her this, and she said she didn't realize it. I still have little to do with her because it has continued. I'm not encouraging you to break ties with your family, but it may be good to sit down and let them know how their comments are making you feel and that you need support to lose weight. You appreciate their concern, but it doesn't help you. Let them know how they can help you because they may not realize what they're doing or know how to be different.

    Good luck!

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