my niece is worried

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joselo2
joselo2 Posts: 461
in Motivation and Support
I usually shrug off weight comments from family, but my little 12 yo neice who i love and is my darling forever told me she is worried about my size. That is upsetting, I cant beleive i caused her worry. I know I am trying but I am slow and recently gained over 30lbs back. She recently saw me unwell and i think she sees me as obese, unwell and not really consistently achieving weight loss. she is right. How do I explain my battles to her? How do I give reassurence wwhen i don't kow if ibeleive in myself and i know i have many set backs? I wsih I could tell her it is all OK but she is clever and she knows. Help :(

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  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Losing weight consistently will reassure her as it will make you healthier & less prone to health problems. The people who love you will always be worried about you while you are this overweight but brave girl for speaking out to you!!
  • D8vidFitness
    D8vidFitness Posts: 104
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    I love this post,

    children are the most honest

    it meant that much more coming from your niece than anyone else because there was no filter in the message,

    no sugar coating "oh u gained some weight, but you still look great"

    just solid, full-hearted, truth.

    Use it to motivate yourself!

    Best wishes
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Hmmm, i just wish i knew what to say which is not a lie. i feel more guily bout this then any other thing i heard from family :(
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
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    I think the most honest thing you can do in return for her (as well as yourself) is to Thank her... And use it to get you super motivated.

    Best of luck to you!
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
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    Kids are going to be the most honest and they will call it like it is. Just look at it as her caring enough to tell you how she feels. The thing that you can say back to her with complete honesty is that you are trying and while you may not always lose the most weight....you are doing the best you can. Then go out there and focus on you and making the best choices to make that happen.
  • wanttolose40lbs
    wanttolose40lbs Posts: 239 Member
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    She seems like she's smart, so be honest with her about your struggles. But, most importantly use it as motivation to get back on track and stay there. It's not easy, it's probably one of the hardest things you have to do, but be diligent and be stronger than the urges for food and you will succeed
  • TammyW18
    TammyW18 Posts: 244 Member
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    I love this post,

    children are the most honest

    it meant that much more coming from your niece than anyone else because there was no filter in the message,

    no sugar coating "oh u gained some weight, but you still look great"

    just solid, full-hearted, truth.

    Use it to motivate yourself!

    Best wishes

    I agree with this... out of the mouth of babes...

    tell her what is going on... start tracking our food as well as taking short walks (i noticed you have nothing logged) she can be a great support system even at 12 years old...grab that motivation, you can do it :)
  • joannie1963
    joannie1963 Posts: 3 Member
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    sticking to healthy habits and losing weight at a slow consist pace will help reassure her . Talk to her she might only be a child, but sometimes kids look at things in a less complicated way them adults. She could also help ,with motivation and consistency. You seem to really care what she thinks. Trust her and yourself
  • GetFitNicky
    GetFitNicky Posts: 25 Member
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    Hugs for sharing. Kids realize differences in people so acutely, some blurt it out and others take it in and think about it. Most speak out out of concern and confusion, which it sounds like your niece did. Plus schools are really bringing up weight issues in school, a topic so largely ignored until recently that I know my own kids really started noticing weight in themselves and others around first grade. Akin to asking raw questions about smoking, drinking, fighting...a child asking why we are overweight can really make you stop and think how to honestly respond. I think because we have gone so long not being honest with ourselves...how do we give an honest answer?

    Find your honest answer and you are helping yourself understand as well as her.

    Mine was simple, it's what I say to my kids if/when the topic of weight or eating or exercise comes up:

    I really enjoy food and I had convinced myself I was always too busy or too out of shape to really exercise beyond a walk here or there. Now I have a goal to be healthy so I can truly enjoy all the gifts life offers...not just food. I exercise every day except for one rest day and log my food so I learn how to eat better food and smaller portions. Just like learning how to read or ride a bike, I needed to learn how to be healthy. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, and being healthy can look different. But for me, I need to lose some weight to be healthy so I am making a plan every day to do that.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    Tough love....everything I see is pics of large people...you have to change your attitude...People respond to attitude as much as looks especially kids. What to assure her, show her you like to eat raw carrots, celery, smaller portions, play games. Is it easy NO, is it worth it...YES....
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I feel like I'm gonna make an unpopular post here.

    But I think in school she's probably getting lots of dramatic scary "health info" and thinks everyone who is overweight/obese is near death. Honestly it reminds me of the 80s when I was in school and they tried to teach us about the dangers, health risks, etc from smoking and kids were scared that any loved ones who smoked would be expected to die, practically immediately.

    My friends, most of them who have very healthy habits in their household, complain all of the time that their kids are coming home freaked out, terrified about eating a piece of birthday cake. Including my best friend's slightly underweight 10 yr old ballet dancer with a congenital heart condition. Yup. Not the greatest.

    Of course it's good that today's kids are AWARE of these dangers. But sometimes it is a bit much.

    Sorry this was painful for you but yeah I agree it's always good to be mindful of your weight and health! Good luck with everything!

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