recovery

keem88
keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
hello mfp land. i have currently in outpatient at ny presbyterian in their eating disorders clinic, participating in a research study. i have upped my cals from the 700/800s into the low 1100s/1200s over the past couple of weeks. i am so full all the time and bloated but trying to drink that water to help it go down.

looking for anyone else trying to gain weight, eat more or maybe has been dealing with eating disorders or disordered eating habits and are looking for support. right now i need to cleanse out my friends list because i have some people on here that severely restrict, and it's no good for me to see their posts and diaries.

so anyone out there in a similar boat, i would love to hear success stories with it or how you have been doing in the recovery process, and feel free to add me (with a message or i will deny bc i won't know how you found me). would love some positive support.

also, any advice with dealing with tomorrow as there will be loads of food and i hate eating in front of people, and get severe anxiety about not being able to plan my meals (my dad is cooking). yikes :/

Replies

  • mortuseon
    mortuseon Posts: 579 Member
    There are some groups on MFP that may help you - have a look. Congratulations on recovery!

    Bloating is a totally normal part of recovery but will go away, I promise.

    Tomorrow, if you can give yourself some small goals to stick to e.g. 'I will eat a plateful', 'I will eat x servings of vegetables', 'I will drink x amount of water'...I find this helps to keep me calm through the day, especially when calories are unknown. If outpatient permits it, some light exercise also might help you to feel a little better as it helps to reduce anxiety.

    I'm at ~1350kcal per day, was previously bulimic, now in recovery/recovered! Feel free to add me.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    thank you so much! i have recovered before, twice, in the past but at my second recovery i had gained my weight back plus some, and was at my heighest although in a healthy weight still, for me i had planned to lose 7 lbs and get back to my 120 but i became obsessive about it and had relapsed.

    the clinic is not too strict as far as making me eat more or not allowing me exercise, although i have gained 3 lbs since starting with them a month ago. i really want to get better and be healthy and happy bc i am miserable now, but i'm scared i will just keep gaining and gaining. i have a few recovery buddies already on here that are very loving and supportive which helps. i still am trying to muster up the courage to tell my s.o. about it, only a good friend from college currently knows whats going on. thank you for your kind words
  • agentventi
    agentventi Posts: 84 Member
    I am also very afraid I will keep gaining. I think it is a common fear but one that others have said won't happen.i
    I have been doing this on my own since July. Going from about 700 calories a day to 1500 to 1600 now. I still have food issues and try to stick to my "safe foods" a majority of the time. I have gained 7 or 8 pounds since then but it is a struggle. I am very close to the low end of normal and I am terrified of being there. We are all in this together. Hugs.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    thanks dear! yeah, i tried to do it myself all these years and i just got tired of manipulating everyone i love. making excuses to cancel plans bc it involves food or drinks. being exhausted all the time and just mentally unstable it takes so much from you. you guys can all do it too and kudos to anyone doing it alone, i couldn't do it anymore
  • Fenrissa
    Fenrissa Posts: 116
    I'm in the same boat right now, feel free to add me. x
  • karenb4729
    karenb4729 Posts: 13 Member
    Hi there, I know what you are feeling. I lost a lot weight and then developed Anorexia. I have been trying to recover the past two months and have gone from 600 calories a day to around 1800. Its been hard to get weight back on which has been surprising to me. The bloat has been the hardest part since I had also been abusing laxatives and I hate having the bloated feeling. Feel free to add me .

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