Advice for the quiet and shy?

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  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...

    Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:

    A mental illness that can be over come ... Seriously, I used get panic attacks and dreaded any type of social situation ... Unless, it's severe to the point of being afraid to go to the store to buy food, then you probably can work on it ... If it's THAT bad, what about therapy? ....

    I got the advice to just "Get out there, talk to people and see what happens", from one of my mother's (an RN) co-workers (a social worker) ... Said social worker, works with the mentally ill on the psychiatric floor of a hospital (helps them find jobs and what not)...

    Seriously, ask yourself ... What is the worst thing that can happen? ... If the answer is not death, then just go for it ...
    Thank you for understanding. Most people don't understand how severe it is. It physically hurts me, and when I feel like I'm being judged, I often have to choke back tears. It's absolutely humiliating.
    But I think I'm going to give this a try. At least once :)
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    Walking. Find a place in your area that is pretty much people free and walk. I too have that problem so I find trails without people. I also have a treadmill in my house for rainy days.
    This is actually what my daily exercises consist of :)
  • JeniferEverx3
    JeniferEverx3 Posts: 219 Member
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    This might be a good one too:
    http://www.blogilates.com/videos/pop-cardio-videos/apartment-friendly-cardio-workout-yes-for-realzz
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    http://www.shape.com/fitness/cardio/apartment-approved-cardio <- check this out maybe it will help :)
    You're a life saver! Thank you :D
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    This might be a good one too:
    http://www.blogilates.com/videos/pop-cardio-videos/apartment-friendly-cardio-workout-yes-for-realzz
    Ah! Cassie is awesome! Thanks :DD
  • Cyclingbonnie
    Cyclingbonnie Posts: 413 Member
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    Thanks :) I'm mostly afraid that I will use the equipment wrong and attract attention xD I'm completely new to this stuff.

    When you sign up ask them if they have an orientation. Most gyms will take you through all the equipment, you just have to sign up for a specific time for an orientation. Most of the machines also have diagrams showing you how to use the machine. But please ask for the orientation. That way you'll know how to adjust the seating for your height. Good luck, I'm not going to tell you to just get over it, but do try and go. You will find what most us have found, it can be a welcoming place. Wish I could afford a gym.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...

    Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:

    A mental illness that can be over come ... Seriously, I used get panic attacks and dreaded any type of social situation ... Unless, it's severe to the point of being afraid to go to the store to buy food, then you probably can work on it ... If it's THAT bad, what about therapy? ....

    I got the advice to just "Get out there, talk to people and see what happens", from one of my mother's (an RN) co-workers (a social worker) ... Said social worker, works with the mentally ill on the psychiatric floor of a hospital (helps them find jobs and what not)...

    Seriously, ask yourself ... What is the worst thing that can happen? ... If the answer is not death, then just go for it ...

    'Snapping out of it' is different advice than desensitization therapy (which I have been through, BTW, so I know panic disorders!). In the first, you are telling her to 'Put her big panties on and snap out of it'! Now you are backing down and offering real help.

    Not sure why you were so harsh in your first post, but I'm glad you clarified.
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
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    hey you got this OP! Start with small steps and with time I'm sure you'll be busting into the gym like you own the place:) I know when I started going to my uni's gym I was super intimidated, particularly in the weight room. What helped most was having a close friend ease me into it. He showed me how to use the machines, basic weight training form, where everything was, etc. Take the first week or so to see when the gym is most crowded as well. I found that the frat stars and athletes tended to crowd in there late afternoon/early evening so I made a point to work out later in the evening. Remind yourself that you're going there for you, not for them, and that quite frankly, they're probably just as self-aware as you are.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • JeniferEverx3
    JeniferEverx3 Posts: 219 Member
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    I have a bit of social anxiety myself so I know how you feel. It's hard to suck it up and put yourself out there, I have tried. I'm much more comfortable with my belly fat jiggling in the privacy of my own home/bedroom. Something else you may want to consider. Black friday is coming... I am going to look into finding a stationary bike for a good price - a fold-up one I can store in my closet. Maybe you should give that a try as well?
  • Getawayfromthecake
    Getawayfromthecake Posts: 124 Member
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    I can relate. When i first started running I went with my boyfriend the first few times for moral support. Even then I would stop running whenever somebody went by, then wait till they weren't looking and start again. I'm the type of girl who doesn't like to ask the assistant in shoe shops to go get my size out of the back, I didn't used to eat in public because I thought I'd be judged. If I were in a restaurant and say I had to go to the toilet, i'd plan it out in my head first... same with starting conversations with people I wasn't familiar with, I'd say it in my head before I said it out loud.
    I'm much better now I'm thinner, a lot of it for me was me beating myself up about my weight. I didn't want people to see me run and think 'look at that fat girl trying to run'.
    For me , I just had to get out there and do it. At first I walked to my local racecourse and only ran past people if they looked nice... I built myself up to it. Then once it felt less abnormal, i realised they probably weren't thinking anything. Eventually I even got the confidence to run on my own street around my neighbors who are always in their gardens.
    At home I did jillian michaels dvds. Until after about 4 months, I felt ready to join a gym. I didn't feel like a complete noob, and I'd already lost over 40lbs. For me the confidence didn't come until the weight was coming off. My weight was holding me back... but I was the one who let it.
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    hey you got this OP! Start with small steps and with time I'm sure you'll be busting into the gym like you own the place:) I know when I started going to my uni's gym I was super intimidated, particularly in the weight room. What helped most was having a close friend ease me into it. He showed me how to use the machines, basic weight training form, where everything was, etc. Take the first week or so to see when the gym is most crowded as well. I found that the frat stars and athletes tended to crowd in there late afternoon/early evening so I made a point to work out later in the evening. Remind yourself that you're going there for you, not for them, and that quite frankly, they're probably just as self-aware as you are.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
    Thanks! :D
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    I can relate. When i first started running I went with my boyfriend the first few times for moral support. Even then I would stop running whenever somebody went by, then wait till they weren't looking and start again. I'm the type of girl who doesn't like to ask the assistant in shoe shops to go get my size out of the back, I didn't used to eat in public because I thought I'd be judged. If I were in a restaurant and say I had to go to the toilet, i'd plan it out in my head first... same with starting conversations with people I wasn't familiar with, I'd say it in my head before I said it out loud.
    I'm much better now I'm thinner, a lot of it for me was me beating myself up about my weight. I didn't want people to see me run and think 'look at that fat girl trying to run'.
    For me , I just had to get out there and do it. At first I walked to my local racecourse and only ran past people if they looked nice... I built myself up to it. Then once it felt less abnormal, i realised they probably weren't thinking anything. Eventually I even got the confidence to run on my own street around my neighbors who are always in their gardens.
    At home I did jillian michaels dvds. Until after about 4 months, I felt ready to join a gym. I didn't feel like a complete noob, and I'd already lost over 40lbs. For me the confidence didn't come until the weight was coming off. My weight was holding me back... but I was the one who let it.
    Right now I'm the same way with the shyness. If I go to anyone's house for an extended amount of time, I refuse to ask anyone anything. Even if I'm really thirsty or really have to pee. I have roommates, and I stay in my room even when I'm starving and I listen through the door until I'm sure they are not in my path from my room to the kitchen to go eat. It's stupid, but I'm so embarrassed to go to the kitchen, because I feel like they are judging me and thinking something along the lines of "She's so fat, she shouldn't be eating. All she does is lay around in her room. What a lazy pig." It's ridiculous. But anyway, I'm glad to know that I'm not that you know how it is, and you got better. I think my weight is one of the biggest reasons why I feel like I'm being judged all the time. I'm confident that once I get all this weight off, things will be much easier :)
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
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    I actually have a stationary bike that I use every day :) I wanted to add more to my exercises. Today I started walking around my neighborhood, and it wasn't anywhere near as scary as I thought it would be. It was actually very enjoyable :) I was nervous a lot when I would pass people and as I feared, they would look at me, but I got over it pretty quick. Hopefully, since I got through this, I can also get through going to the gym as well ^_^
  • LunaKye
    LunaKye Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    I have a bit of social anxiety myself so I know how you feel. It's hard to suck it up and put yourself out there, I have tried. I'm much more comfortable with my belly fat jiggling in the privacy of my own home/bedroom. Something else you may want to consider. Black friday is coming... I am going to look into finding a stationary bike for a good price - a fold-up one I can store in my closet. Maybe you should give that a try as well?
    Oops! I hit reply instead of quote. This was supposed to go to you-
    I actually have a stationary bike that I use every day :) I wanted to add more to my exercises. Today I started walking around my neighborhood, and it wasn't anywhere near as scary as I thought it would be. It was actually very enjoyable :) I was nervous a lot when I would pass people and as I feared, they would look at me, but I got over it pretty quick. Hopefully, since I got through this, I can also get through going to the gym as well ^_^

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