closer to goal = less support?

trudijoy
trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's quite interesting here as I've gone through this year of weight loss that people are more inclined to cheer on the beginners, to comment on any and all calorie burns from someone trying but with a long way to go, and celebrate the smaller milestones in the beginning.

I'm on day 335 and the number of people who comment (genuinely, rather than a passing 'yay' or 'nice' which are great but not quite what I'm talking about here) has dwindled. In the end it's mostly the same people all the time.

I would assume it's mostly down to either 'you got this' attitudes where people just figure you know what you're doing by now, or they are sick of me :p

Doesn't worry me, I *DO* got this, I just think it's an interesting trend where people are naturally pumping up those who need it more and tailing it off at the other end - hitting the goal seems anticlimatic almost because of it!

Anyone else find this?

Replies

  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    People who have been consistent don't need as much praise and support. If you are craving the praise of others and that it is the only way feel happy about your weight loss, then there is a deeper self-esteem problem you need to look into.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    People who have been consistent don't need as much praise and support. If you are craving the praise of others and feel that it is the only way feel happy about your weight loss, then there is a deeper self-esteem problem you need to look into.

    it's an observation, not a personal issue. Not a complaint, just find it interesting that it naturally happens this way is all.

    besides, liking to be supported, encouraged etc is a basic human trait, not a weakness.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member

    it's an observation, not a personal issue. Not a complaint, just find it interesting that it naturally happens this way is all.

    besides, liking to be supported, encouraged etc is a basic human trait, not a weakness.

    People begin to expect it from you, and when something is expected, it is less exciting. It is like that with everything in life.
  • Satiable
    Satiable Posts: 121
    Absolutely, I've noticed this too!

    It might also be because, when you're close to your goal weight, nobody wants to imply (through excessive cheering) that you're still chubby? At that point losing another couple of kilos is a personal preference, not a medical necessity.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    Absolutely, I've noticed this too!

    It might also be because, when you're close to your goal weight, nobody wants to imply (through excessive cheering) that you're still chubby? At that point losing another couple of kilos is a personal preference, not a medical necessity.

    yeah it could be that. I know in 'the real world' it irritates me slightly when people ask things like 'how much more do you want to lose' and say 'oh you're making such good progress' because it can come off that exact way, though I just smile and thank them :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'm sure those on your friends list are going to feel like being that much more supportive now that you've made this post.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    I'm sure those on your friends list are going to feel like being that much more supportive now that you've made this post.

    I'm not complaining about them, it's all people. I'm as guilty of it as anyone.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    I'm sure those on your friends list are going to feel like being that much more supportive now that you've made this post.

    I'm not complaining about them, it's all people. I'm as guilty of it as anyone.
    Speak for yourself, maintaining can be just as difficult and I actively support anyone who is trying to improve their lives, be it if they have 200lbs to lose or are just trying to keep moving forward, my FL is full of people who have bodies I would kill for but I still cheer them on when they complete another routine etc

    But you are entitled to your opinion and your observation maybe true concerning the people in your life but saying "it's all people" is a sweeping statement that is simply untrue.

    Congrats on your success!!
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    I'm sure those on your friends list are going to feel like being that much more supportive now that you've made this post.

    I'm not complaining about them, it's all people. I'm as guilty of it as anyone.
    Speak for yourself, maintaining can be just as difficult and I actively support anyone who is trying to improve their lives, be it if they have 200lbs to lose or are just trying to keep moving forward, my FL is full of people who have bodies I would kill for but I still cheer them on when they complete another routine etc

    But you are entitled to your opinion and your observation maybe true concerning the people in your life but saying "it's all people" is a sweeping statement that is simply untrue.

    Congrats on your success!!

    reword then: this is not particular to the people on my friends list on this site. people from every aspect of life have been showing this. not every one of them. 'All' was, indeed, the wrong word for what I was saying.

    My bad.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    idk ive got a friend who's been consistently logging for like 2 billion years and every time I see her numbers I'm dumbfounded. I may have missed a few...woah youre amazing days, but when I see it I have to comment. However, im not commenting on exercises or meals unless i could get paid for it. Then yeah that would be awesome.

    I assume the baby losers need more help then the old losers
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Now that I've been on maintenance for a year and pretty much never go over my calories, I don't need people to "good job" me every day. Actually, my role has evolved into being an adviser to other people. I'm honored that I get friend requests from people who see that I have succeeded. It is perfectly fine that I don't get patted on the back all the time. It's time to give back.
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    Now that I've been on maintenance for a year and pretty much never go over my calories, I don't need people to "good job" me every day. Actually, my role has evolved into being an adviser to other people. I'm honored that I get friend requests from people who see that I have succeeded. It is perfectly fine that I don't get patted on the back all the time. It's time to give back.

    like i said, doesn't worry me, I know I'm sorted. I'm also giving advice and supporting other people


    Eh, most of you have missed the point. I'm not upset or annoyed, its a social observation.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    I got ya. I do it myself. If someone is so consistent and not at the beginning of the battle, I do figure they have it down. Folks struggling or new at it are who I focus on.

    But I also like to see comments when I do my regular old routine, lol. On days where it was particularly hard to get myself moving, I just say that. Then folks know to chime in, and they always do :)
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
    I tend to shy away from those almost at goal because I think, `` If they are almost at goal - they will probably have a better answer in their own head since they are where I wish I was . Its like an A+ Student asking a D- student for help ?? But by all means I am cheering you in my head and always read all post to see when the before and after pics are posted .
  • trudijoy
    trudijoy Posts: 1,685 Member
    On days where it was particularly hard to get myself moving, I just say that. Then folks know to chime in, and they always do :)

    yeah i've learned to do this too. Am dealing with something very difficult to deal with in my everyday life and had to learn to ask for help and support.
  • chelseac1014
    chelseac1014 Posts: 43 Member
    I understand what you mean. I kinda of feel the same way
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    problem solved.

    pat-731183.gif

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