Disclosing your weight loss goals to others.....

Eyerin
Eyerin Posts: 24
in Health and Weight Loss
What's your personal style and your thoughts about disclosing or not disclosing the beginning of your weight loss/fitness goal?
What have your experiences been?


(A) Tell the whole world about your plans to shed some weight?

(B) Let all your close family or friends know.

(C) Keep it to one or two support pals going through the same thing with you.

(D) Keep it totally to yourself (and maybe MFP and anonymous website support groups).

(E) Other.



I'm a (C). One walking pal and I kept it to ourselves - nobody else knew and I do have a close family. My experience and story.

My good friend/neighbor and I were on the same page with same age (late 40's), start weight (185), goal weights (150 or less), height (5'7"), etc. She was my bootcamp buddy. How fortunate that I had a sort of twin and we had the same desires to shed and get fit. We even walked at the same fast pace with our dogs. She'd tell me to get my butt off the couch and was tough on me just as I was on her on those days we didn't feel like going out.

My reason for choosing (C) is that I don't like pressure if I fall back, others possibly sabotaging (yes, it happens even with the people that love you), and just being badgered all the time (how's it working? What are you doing to lose? Oh! You better not eat THAT!? How's the rabbit food? Holy, a few deep fried appetizers with cream cheese and bacon isn't going to kill ya!)

I've allowed 20 lbs. to creep back on due to my own laziness over the last couple of years. I lost a good bunch of weight several years ago and don't want 20 lbs. to become 30-40 or 50 again! I worked too hard for that. I should never let it get this far, but I take full responsibility.

We live in a colder climate where you bundle up in sweaters, scarves and jackets from mid-November to spring. When we first lost our poundage, we both started in mid-November a few years back. For myself, the people closest to me started to notice my face becoming thinner by about January (in a good way), and if asked, I just mentioned I was eating healthier with proper portions (true!). What a feeling it was when my walking pal and I both reached our upper goal by the time spring arrived and clothing shedding season began. The people I only saw intermittently were so complimentary once spring arrived and we unveiled our new trimmer selves. It sure felt good to lose weight during the cold winter and feeling just great for spring and summer. Both of us went on to lose a few more during that summer, finding the right maintenance schedule. I eventually went from 185 to 135. My friend got to a satisfying 140. We were thrilled and healthy.

I'm not saying we didn't experience highs and lows, slumps and stalls....we did. That's why I'm glad the whole world didn't know.

Both of our bodies eventually found a satisfactory, maintainable level from 145-150, which was just perfect.

She is a widow and I am happy married to a man who loves bringing home high fat, snack items, decadent desserts and high calorie food. I never even told my hubby. I just started cooking healthier fare, watched my own portion control, stayed away from the treats, exercised to DVD's when my hubby wasn't home (he once thought my exercising was a hilarious joke Grrrr...:( )

For that reason, I am a (C) and for me, it's a good choice. Keeping my plans limited to others worked well for me, yet I had to be accountable to only 2 people - me and her.

I'm starting again today and I hope to fit into some of my still nice smaller clothes by spring once again. Time to call my boot camp buddy (who also fell off the bus) so we can both shed 20 lbs. hopefully over the winter and support each other once again.



What are your own experiences in disclosing your goals to others?



.

Replies

  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    I lost mostly during the winter months and with bulky sweaters/coats etc. no one noticed, nor did I tell anyone except for my husband and mother-in-law (who is my best friend and we also eat at their house a lot). It was the first time I had tried losing weight and I didn't want to tell people, in case I failed at it (I had no clue what I was doing lol).

    I hit goal right around the time to change season wardrobes-people were utterly shocked by how I looked :laugh: Now I've been in maintenance for a while and I don't have a problem telling people I've lost over 50lbs. I'm sure it will be a topic that comes up at the Christmas parties, when I see relatives I only see once a year.
  • Eyerin
    Eyerin Posts: 24
    I lost mostly during the winter months and with bulky sweaters/coats etc. no one noticed, nor did I tell anyone except for my husband and mother-in-law (who is my best friend and we also eat at their house a lot). It was the first time I had tried losing weight and I didn't want to tell people, in case I failed at it (I had no clue what I was doing lol).

    I hit goal right around the time to change season wardrobes-people were utterly shocked by how I looked :laugh: Now I've been in maintenance for a while and I don't have a problem telling people I've lost over 50lbs. I'm sure it will be a topic that comes up at the Christmas parties, when I see relatives I only see once a year.


    I can so relate to that, twixlepennie.
    I am proud to say afterward that I had lost 50 lbs, but at the time of losing, I just wanted to do things quietly so that any failure wouldn't come back to bite me.

    Of course, I was asked "Wow, you look so much different...are you OK?" or "I never realized you were chunky before you started losing weight." Or, "Goodness your face is thin." (uhhmmmm...normal?)

    You are a great inspiration twix, and I love that you get the 'unpeeling in the spring' part! It is a wonderful time to start if you live in a colder climate and I hope you can also be an inspiration to others. Why wait until January when the weight loss boards and exercise gyms become rampant with people wishing to weight in an unrealistic time period..

    Congrats to you!
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Outside the anonymity of MFP, I only talk about it with people extremely extremely close to me. Two people, really.

    It's nobody else's business, and frankly, nobody else cares anyway.

    I do share Strava links on Facebook when I hit fitness milestones, but that's not really the same as "weight loss".
  • silken555
    silken555 Posts: 478 Member
    I post my weekly statistics on my Facebook page. That's the only time it's mentioned and it's actually helped other people to start their own journeys. So long as it's helpful, I'll keep posting...:) My page is viewable by friends only and so I'm kinda in between A & B.
  • phoebejeeby
    phoebejeeby Posts: 62 Member
    I don't tell anyone close to me about my goals...except maybe my boyfriend...but I tell him everything, so that doesn't count. I don't tell family/friends/coworkers. I read once about the physiology of goal setting, that if you tell someone about a goal then you get the positive feelings of success before you complete the goal and thus you will be much less likely to succeed. Sounds silly but I can attest to the truth in this. In the past when I have come up with a weight loss/ get fit plan and told people about my big plan, I feel REALLY GOOD and then ive never succeeded. When i finally was able to lose 60 lbs. I didn't tell anyone and did it all by myself. Now I feel great and deserve the feelings of success! Also I find people don't really care to hear about your weight loss goals. If they aren't on a journey themselves, its a pretty boring convo for them. That's actually why I love MFP. Because everyone is here for the same reason basically. To get fit/healthy. Its nice to have people who want to talk about it!
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
    Not quite any of those. My boyfriend knows because we live together and I tell him everything. He's been very supportive and even offered to stop buying snacks for himself in case it's tempting for me to dig in. My younger sister knows because she was complaining about eating healthy foods but not losing weight... I suggested she check this out and log for a few days to see if she's eating too many calories in healthy foods. My boyfriend's mom knows because she asked why I was eating so little at dinner one night.

    I have NO plans of telling anybody at work because in that environment "Fi is eating better for life and losing weight is a natural part of that" will somehow turn into some awful, terrible rumor about gods know what. They can compliment me once the weight starts to come off but if they ask how I did it, I'll probably just say I started eating better and leave it at that. It's not a big deal to me if a lot of people know. I'm a fairly private person and tend to keep most things to myself.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
    I guess I kind of fall under other. I tell my close friends and maybe one person in my family, like my mom...I didn't go out and tell everyone I knew or discussed it in casual conversation with acquaintances. Recently I have taken to blogging about my weight loss journey so now everyone and anyone who wants to read my blog can read it. I have also shared my blog with my facebook friends and the like. I guess I want to stop hiding behind my shame and the first step in that is for me to admit it to the world or something like that.
  • lauriem1966
    lauriem1966 Posts: 134 Member
    I don't tell anyone. That hasn't worked out too well in the past, so I'm thinking if I declare it to the world, I might stay in it to win it.
  • DeterminedToLoseIt02
    DeterminedToLoseIt02 Posts: 113 Member
    Only my mom knows, really and that's because I measure everything.
  • hannah_ryann
    hannah_ryann Posts: 259 Member
    The way I started my weight loss journey was through a biggest loser challenge at work that started in January of 2013, so obviously everyone at work knew. As I started seeing more success, I became more public about it. I occasionally post things on my facebook (before and current pics, big milestones, a 2 month setback I had). My family knows, my boyfriend knows, people at my new work know.. I'm a very sharing person and I think that everyone knowing helps in two ways. One, it holds me accountable. Two, I know for a fact that my publicity with my own weight loss journey has inspired others to begin their own search for fitness and I LOVE THAT. I think it's important to share my own experience with this (good and bad, successes and failures) because it shows people that it's not as easy and quick as they want to believe it is.
  • Swiftdogs
    Swiftdogs Posts: 328 Member
    I've told the people I work with, my husband, and a friend I travel with, all so they'll know why I'm avoiding/limiting certain foods. I'm still waiting for those who haven't been told to notice.
  • almomnc
    almomnc Posts: 68 Member
    I am starting to tell more people. I am halfway to my goal and some notice and some think I have done something different with my hair. I can't get frustrated (much) because I have lost some weight before and just put it back on. I haven't weighed this amount since before I had my first child 10 years ago so I think some people really can't tell what is different. I am hoping by spring and I am wearing t shirts and shorts that I notice it. I still see myself as a heavier version but I think it is just worry I will fall back again.
  • cathylopez1975
    cathylopez1975 Posts: 191 Member
    Only my husband and diabetes educator/nutritionist (who is also a friend) knew I was trying to lose weight again. It was almost like when I found out I was pregnant after a miscarriage. I didn't want to jinx it.

    After I lost a pretty good amount of weight, people started to notice. But the funniest was at the start of the school year (I teach) after not seeing teacher friends for 2-1/2 months. By then I had lost 75 lbs. I had a teacher approach me in the hall and start to ask me if I needed help - then she recognized me. I kept getting comments like "I saw you coming in the room and didn't know who you were!" This from people who had seen me and who I had worked with for years.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i'm a C.

    mainly because people tend to want to offer all kinds of unsolicited advice. besides that i can't stand the fake "oh you dont need to lose weight" compliments and the attempted sabotages that go along with that.
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    I only told my husband and a close friend that I was going to get serious about losing weight, didn't really mention anything to anyone else until I had lost 5-6kg and then felt comfortable enough to tell other family and friends if they mentioned it first. When I had lost 10kg and had some great measurement results (ie felt pretty chuffed with myself LOL) I posted it up on my Facebook page, but I also knew that once I 'announced' it that I would be more likely to keep myself in check. As in if everyone knows that I am trying to lose weight then I will try harder not to fail and embarrass myself with my lack of self control. I was a bit worried about sharing something like that on Facebook but was quite surprised by the overwhelming amount of support and encouragement I got which helps a lot!
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    D. I don't tell anyone, except if they ask if I'm losing weight and out of habit, I tell them that I'm on a diet, even though I don't want them to know. The reason that I don't like ppl knowing is bc I've noticed that after I told a few ppl, even when I was gaining, when they saw me again, they said that I had lost weight. I kind of felt like they were lying to me at first just to be nice, and I didn't like that, but then I figured maybe their minds were playing tricks on them. I still prefer not to tell people IRL.
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I am an (A). I get a lot of opinions on what I should do or not do. I like it. Some things I try some things I don't.
  • Terran1976
    Terran1976 Posts: 8
    I guess I fall into Other. My kids knew and my mom and sister knew from the start. I didn't tell anyone else but by now, 30 some pounds down, most everyone notices and asks. I tell them I run. Truth. I don't say anything about tracking. Not their business. The handful of people I've told what I have left to lose have been very discouraging. "You can't do that! You'd look like a skeleton." I just shrug. I'm 5'6. I never thought 150 lbs to be Skeleton- esque.
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
    I guess I fall into Other. My kids knew and my mom and sister knew from the start. I didn't tell anyone else but by now, 30 some pounds down, most everyone notices and asks. I tell them I run. Truth. I don't say anything about tracking. Not their business. The handful of people I've told what I have left to lose have been very discouraging. "You can't do that! You'd look like a skeleton." I just shrug. I'm 5'6. I never thought 150 lbs to be Skeleton- esque.
    Its not :) I promise. Im 148lbs 5'5
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Somewhere between (B) and (C) for me.

    I've always been put off by obnoxious (IMO) over the top weight loss journeyers. ;-)

    I don't want to know every bite that goes into my coworker's mouth each day, or how many pounds & inches the clerk at Bath and Body Works lost over the summer. I just don't care. A lot of people REALLY over-share in my opinion.

    My husband and best friend have known since I joined MFP and started losing. My mom, soon after. Other members of my family really began to notice after I'd lost about 20 lb, and I was open with them about how I'm doing it.

    I started working in a new office about 3 months ago and have had a couple of casual conversations with my boss about it, but nothing major. She is the type of woman who has always been between size 6-10 and never really been on a diet, which for me is so refreshing! She asked me awhile ago when she was going on vacation and we would have food delivered for our lunches, if she needed to get special food for me or give me a grocery allowance, since she knew I ate light/healthy. I appreciated that.

    There are a few people in my life who I just don't talk about it with. One of them is my friend who has always been around the same weight as I was, and now I'm 70 or so pounds lighter. I know she's threatened by my weight loss and very jealous. I downplay the topic around her but she constantly says how "skinny" I am (def not, I'm 208 lb at 5'8") but anyway...I just don't talk about it around people who I think have issues with it.

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