is this annoying?

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joselo2
joselo2 Posts: 461
in Motivation and Support
Not trolling or looking for hate, just an honest question... i am trying to lose weight and change mylife, been slowly working my way down from over 400lbs, got to about 330lbs, then gained about half of it back... now trying to get myself refocussed! Basically, I try hard but I have a fair few slip ups- times when i gain a little back, time when i binge eat, times when i simply let things slip. I know weight loss is hard for everyone but I guess i just struggle especially... it is a looong road with setback on the way.

So like, if you have friends on here like me (and i mean like friends on here, not so much real life people who have that emotional connection and concern)... do you find it annoying? Doyou find it irritating cheering people on, only for them to have somany set backs? Do their proclamations start to sound hollow? How can people like me who struggle a lot be less annoying? thank you xxx
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Replies

  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    If people find someone who is honestly trying annoying, they should look within and figure out why. Your weight loss and progress don't define you as a person, and they don't affect your friends' lives. They are aspects of your life. If this was easy for you, you wouldn't be in the position you're in. If someone friends you and can't handle that this is a tough battle for you, then they should move on. You don't owe anyone perfection or inspiration.

    (If you reject advice continually and insist your way works when it clearly doesn't, that's annoying, but that's not what you are talking about here.)

    Your MFP feed is for you, about you. Use it as the tool you need to. Others will do the same. They can hide you or defriend if they find themselves too annoyed. You just keep looking in and keep on keeping on.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    hmm, i can see that sometimes i come acrss as rejecting advice, if say i fail to follow it. i just do not wish 2 annoy people, because i don't want to push away that support because i need it.
  • JessekaKing
    JessekaKing Posts: 64 Member
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    I wouldnt say annoying, but sometimes we want to see our friends succeed so much....its a bit of a let down when they post about how dedicated they want to be this time, then I take a look in their diary and see they consumed a whole extra large extra everything pizza :)

    We're all human....I would say have MFP friends that understand your struggle and are willing to help you regardless, because after all...we're all in it to help and cheer each other on!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    So like, if you have friends on here like me (and i mean like friends on here, not so much real life people who have that emotional connection and concern)... do you find it annoying? Doyou find it irritating cheering people on, only for them to have somany set backs? Do their proclamations start to sound hollow? How can people like me who struggle a lot be less annoying? thank you xxx

    no i dont fond this annoying because everyone needs support and community. setbacks are a part of life and something we all experience.

    what i do find annoying though are whiners and people who arent self-motivated. i've deleted many people from my friend's list who needed constant external validation and would whine on their status about how they arent getting it. we all have our struggles and helping each other doesn't mean having to carry someone else.

    so my advice would be to a) recognize that everyone has setbacks 2)learn from those setbacks and try applying the learnings to new situations 3)have your own internal motivators to keep you going 4)set small weekly goals to help keep you motivated. weekly goals can be things as simple as drinking x cups of water a day, working out 3 hours a week, hitting your macros 2 days, etc
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
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    Check out Overeaters Anonymous. Listen to their podcasts, especially those on the Los Angeles website. This might be a good fit for you and offer the kind of support you need.

    Don't beat yourself up. There's more to losing weight than logging your weight on a website. Best wishes.
  • afitbutterfly
    afitbutterfly Posts: 17
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    I don't find it annoying at all. I encourage everyone regardless if they have set backs or not.
    We all have our moments. I am here to help others by cheering them on. If you need a
    supportive friend; feel free to add me.:flowerforyou:
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Some good advice here!
    Still here & cheering you on.......
    As well as telling you off at times but then you wanted a friend not just a cheer leader!!
  • padams2359
    padams2359 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I can see were it could be annoying. 70 lbs doesn't come off in 1, 2 or 3 weeks. 35 lbs does go on in that time frame either, unless you have a lard IV. A week or 2 of slip ups can cause 5 or 10 lb gain. Jump back on the wagon, and keep an eye on what you are eating, and how your clothes are fitting. Tough Love, much luck to you.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    hmm, i can see that sometimes i come acrss as rejecting advice, if say i fail to follow it. i just do not wish 2 annoy people, because i don't want to push away that support because i need it.

    has someone said you have annoyed them? sounds like you are very bothered about what others thing... put that energy into your weight loss efforts instead! you cant please everybody all of the time, you have to do whats right for you.
  • pinktac0
    pinktac0 Posts: 43
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    your "birdie" pic is the best laugh ive had all day! thanks
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    thank you all... yeeeeeah i love the birdy pic, can totally relate to the pink bird!!
  • monisiaczeq
    monisiaczeq Posts: 131 Member
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    I dont find it annoying. thats what friends are here for. i mean we are only humans and often we give in to our weaknesses- we have a bad evening, day, week or a month. it happens. i myself had a tough week but people on MFP made it so much easier for me to get back in the zone. they cheered me on and acknowledged my little victories. i am trying to do the same.
    in the end if somebody is annoying you, you can always defriend them...
    i love supporting MFP friends :D
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I have found that anyone who is here to make permanent, healthy lifestyle changes eventually struggles and has slip-ups. I don't mind at all when my friends have ups and downs.
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
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    I think you should worry less about people who find you annoying and just be yourself. I'm sure there are hundreds of people who make "hollow proclamations" but I think if they really mean it, it isn't hollow at all. I would love to cheer you on even if you DO slip up often! I think for people who have more trouble sticking to a weight loss/management goal, it is good for them to get as much support as possible. Everything in my life where I have had the support of others has been easier than things I have accomplished on my own. People slip up for different reasons and while I firmly believe everybody is responsible for their choices and decisions, some people really do have an easier time saying no to cupcakes than others. If you'd like to cheer each other on, go ahead and add me as a friend! I've had a rough journey in life and my problems with food reflect that. So far I have a good grip on getting healthy, but it's only been two weeks. I could use some cheering on too. :)
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Even the most successful people have setbacks. It's only annoying when you see someone who has worked hard give up.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    No, I do not find that annoying. I don't even find it annoying when people reject advice I or others give. There is no single right way to lose weight. If what works for me doesn't sound like something you could live with long term, then you would be right to reject it.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    hmm, i can see that sometimes i come acrss as rejecting advice, if say i fail to follow it. i just do not wish 2 annoy people, because i don't want to push away that support because i need it.

    1) figure out the behaviors of yours that are undermining your weight loss.
    2) stop those behaviors.

    it's really that simple. there's no prize for getting the weight off faster than anybody else, so instead of looking at it as "failing" by putting back 35lbs, just think of it a setback to be overcome.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Not at all. It's tough and we all have to do it in our own time.

    As long as you're honest with yourself, I don't find it annoying.
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
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    My husband would say yes. I have told myself and him several times that I am going to lose weight, i have a little success, then relax too much about it and gain it back. He has told me that basically, he has seen me go back on my word so many times that he doesn't even believe me anymore when I say I am going to do it. He has said it annoys the crap out of him and makes him upset with me.

    I know that if I think too much on what he says, it will just make me feel like a failure. I mean, I already think that of myself every time i mess up. I dont need to worry about what other people think. I just stopped discussing it with people. If/when I have major results, they will speak for themselves.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
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    Not trolling or looking for hate, just an honest question... i am trying to lose weight and change mylife, been slowly working my way down from over 400lbs, got to about 330lbs, then gained about half of it back... now trying to get myself refocussed! Basically, I try hard but I have a fair few slip ups- times when i gain a little back, time when i binge eat, times when i simply let things slip. I know weight loss is hard for everyone but I guess i just struggle especially... it is a looong road with setback on the way.

    So like, if you have friends on here like me (and i mean like friends on here, not so much real life people who have that emotional connection and concern)... do you find it annoying? Doyou find it irritating cheering people on, only for them to have somany set backs? Do their proclamations start to sound hollow? How can people like me who struggle a lot be less annoying? thank you xxx

    I have just recently stopped to cheer on a person in my FL, because I am certain that telling her " tomorrow is another day " is not helpful , especially if that day never seems to come. I still give practical advise and definitely have not stopped posting to that person, but I am no longer all cheerful and " don't worry about it, one day makes no difference ", because it has been many days.
    With all due respect I would like to mentioned to you that gaining 35 pounds is an extra 122 500 calories above maintenance and unless you have emotional or physical health problems to gain that all back, a sad way to undo what must have been a major effort. And just boredom eating or eating because " I feel hungry and I need food or because I deserve it " is just nor worth gaining 35 pounds for. So if that might have been going on for quite a while, even though your friends might have supported you in friendly and cheerful ways, I probably would also take a step back. Not abandon you, but definitely tone down the " never mind one day does not make you gain " kind of attitude, because I do know from experience that one day times 30, 60 or 100 yes, do make a person gain weight.
    Good Luck !
    As far as advise is concerned; I don't care if people accept it or not, because it is their life and not mine.

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