Fell off the wagon after the passing of my Grandmother.

Hi MFP family. This is my first time posting publicly. I don't have friends on my mfp account as I felt more confident doing this on my own for a while now. Basically I only use mfp just to keep track of where I'm at with weighloss.
All was well until the 10 November 2013 when my Grandma passed away. She is more my mother than Grandma. She'd raised me from birth when both my mother and father abandoned me at birth. She was my world. The only person that understood me and loved me unconditionally and truefully.
It has been almost 3 weeks since her passing and I just can't seemed to get back on my fitness/ clean eating wagon. Clearly I'm an emotional eater and I've been doing just that. Eat eat and more eating of anything and everything. I find myself breaking down with tears then turn to the pantry and fridge for comfort. I can't find the motivation or will to get back on my weighloss path but for the life of me can't.
Before my Grandma's passing I'd lost just over 19kilos from 112kilos. My weightloss
journey started when I fell ill and ended up at the Doctors only to be told that I'm pre-diabetes and a blood pressure of 190/100 and could only not walk pass the mailbox. I was told that I'm not far off from a heart attack with the lifestyle I was living.
I go scared mainly because I have a 2yo daughter. All that was going through in my head was, if anything happens to me no one will love and care for my baby as much as me. I want to be there with her and for her every step of the way. So I joined the gym and done my research on clean eating and I away I went. I started at 112kilos and last I weighed myself I was 91kilos. Gone from size 20 to 14/12.
But now after three weeks of mourning, my size 14 clothes are tight.
Please anyone out there can relate?
My daughter will again be my motivation and strength to get up and keep push like I did before.

Thank you for taking the time to read this rather long & depressing blog.

Also I have Instgram if anyone want to see more of my journey @fit_fiesty_fabulous

Blessed Day MFP Family x


  • Brittaura
    Brittaura Posts: 29 Member
    Hey, I'm sure that a lot of people on MFP (myself included) are emotional eaters, or we wouldn't be here. I've lost a lot of people that I care about and it's incredibly difficult, don't beat yourself up for making a mistake. You recognize it and know that you want to change it, that's more than some people do in a lifetime! I wish you well getting back on the right path, I'm not in the greatest mindset due to my own rl atm but I'd be more than happy to be there if you need someone to talk to or wanna add me as a friend.

    Good luck, cuddle that little girl of yours for some extra motivation :)
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    What you've done is part of your grieving process. Every person's way to grieve and dealing with the loss will be different. My condolences to you on the loss of your grandmother. I know how you feel losing a loved one, as I lost my father to cancer 25 years ago.
  • debi_f
    debi_f Posts: 330 Member
    cheriboon, First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely understand what you're going through, though. My father died on the 17th of last month, and I spent the last week and a half with my family in the states going to his funeral, then eating everything in sight (with the rest of them doing the same thing).

    My pants also got a bit tight over those 10 days.

    But, I've worked too hard to lose all that weight, and my dad was proud of my accomplishment. Why would I let him down now? That's not what he would want, and that's not what your grandma would want for you, either.

    Like you said, she loved you unconditionally. That means she would want the absolute best for you (and by extension, your daughter). She would want you to be healthy and strong and to live a long, happy life.

    Yes, mourn her passing. She meant so much to you that it's only right that you miss her terribly. But try to honor her, too, by taking care of yourself. That's what *she* would want. Find other ways to deal with the pain and grief. Sure, easy to say, but you can do it! Maybe when you feel the tears coming on, you could find another outlet that helps you deal with the pain. If it's nice out, take that beautiful daughter of yours out for a walk (you can push her stroller, if necessary). If you can't get out, maybe try going up and down the stairs a few times. Or maybe you could try 5-10 sit-ups.

    Tell yourself, "Grandma would want me to be healthy, so these 5 sit-ups are for her. The next 5 are for my daughter, so I'll be around for her."

    If you just have to stick something into your mouth, try chewing gum or suck on a hard candy (look for the sugar-free kind?). Just watch that the *one* candy doesn't turn into 20 (which is something I have to watch myself!).

    Of course, give it some time, too. Everything is still raw. Believe me, I understand! I'm there, too, and these are a few of the things I'm doing.

    Maybe we can get through this time together. Friend me if you'd like.
  • The_Godwin_72
    The_Godwin_72 Posts: 102 Member
    Time will lessen the pain but it won't go away, one day you will turn the pain of remembering into the celebration of memories. Full of good times and life events- you will share them with your child so they know wat a great lady your mom/grandma was. Until that time you need to be the person she was so proud of, eat right and workout- be strong and push forward. Turn her memory into the meaning in something you do. You'll get there.