The social aspect of maintaning on MFP

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acogg
acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I have been a member of MFP for just a few days more of a year. I stopped logging when I reached maintenance and a few friends unfriended me. That's fine, I wasn't active. Now I have a bunch (2/3) of my pals not logging and haven't logged in months. I have emailed a few of my favorites and some have become active again (yay) one sent me a reply that she was "too busy" and nothing from anyone else. Do I drop the unresponsive ones? I remember when I started logging again, wondering if anyone would remember me. I want to be encouraging if anyone wants to come back. I also notice that people aren't friending me as much as when I was trying to lose weight. I am no longer struggling so they think I can't sympathize? Really? I feel stupid posting this, but I wonder about all these things. I am a great friend and post on everyone's feed, so why do I feel like an outsider?

Replies

  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
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    What is it you want to do now? Encourage others? Find others trying to maintain? Stay focused?

    Maybe you need to define how you see this site working for you now and why having friends here is still important to you.

    Maybe you should focus on actively participating in discussions for now and not worry about collecting friends.

    If you reach out to someone and don't hear back it says more about where they are right now/ not a reflection on you. You may feel like you are striking out, however you never know when a kind word or thought from you may be just what someone needed at that moment. Send out good karma and accept what happens/ or doesn't.

    Not everyone wants to friend others here, but that doesn't mean they don't value your input/support here and there.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    What a sweet post. Yes, my motivation is to encourage others. It was easier to be accepted when I was trying to lose, so I am trying to figure out how to turn off my weight loss ticker. I think that is killing my friendability.I felt that when I had weight to lose. It took forever and no one could understand my feelings of hunger, deprivation, disgust, and wanting to stab a shower curtain at random.
  • LovelyMarie774
    LovelyMarie774 Posts: 49 Member
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    Maybe they have gained what they needed from this site and no longer see it as useful? That doesn't mean they don't find you useful, but just don't want to go to the trouble of tracking anymore. If they learned how to eat for their bodies and don't need MFP anymore then good for them! Maybe find them on facebook or connect some other way if they were very close to you. For myself, I have never logged anything online regarding food or activity.I have a notebook on my kitchen table that I write everything down in when dieting or have a fitness goal to work towards. When maintaining I just loosely keep track of what I am eating on my phone calculator and don't bother writing things down. Maybe their situation is similar? I wouldn't "unfriend" them, but if they delete themselves or seem to disappear just take it as a sign of the success you helped them achieve by being so supportive.
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
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    Maintaining weight loss for many, many people is much harder than losing. Once you get there're compliments eventually stop. Falling back to old habits can come quickly. Think yo-yo dieting.

    I joined oveaters anonymous and now know people who have been active for decades. Some are thin, others are not. But we all benefit from each other and the support. It has really opened my eyes to the reality of the relationship many of us have with food. The long timers will tell you the way they maintain their healthy weight is thru their continued participation/ helping someone else helps them in the end. I'm really starting to get the whole concept. Pass it on.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
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    Delete them. Delete them all.

    Slackers to a man (or a woman), every last one.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    There are also simply fewer maintainers. Notice how much slower this response board is than most of the other forums? Plus many people just drop off MFP because it doesn't work for them or they decide not to continue their weight loss efforts. If it was easy to lose weight or everyone was good at it, there wouldn't be so many overweight people and so many of us wouldn't regain after we've lost.

    I actually don't have MFP friends (except my husband, so we can share meals) because I don't like sharing my diary. Many people find having others checking their diary made them more accountable. I am a super-conscientious logger - I have tried really hard to log EVERYTHING since I started this. I found thinking about other people looking at my diary made me self-conscious and I felt tempted to leave things off (did she really have a martini on a Tuesday night?). I didn't do it, but I didn't want to ever thing about it. It's a DIARY. But I really like the forums and find them helpful.

    In terms of your question . . . it doesn't hurt to have friends who aren't posting. They're free. They may come back too. You did. And it will be nice for them to know you're still there.
  • Jim_1960
    Jim_1960 Posts: 399
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    Cull them out of your list and go get some new ones!! lol
  • afia233
    afia233 Posts: 47 Member
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    To be honest, I myself go through stages of using MFP and would be a little concerned if there were people who COULDNT function without MFP. Its something which a majority of people use for 3-5 months and then neglect and then eventually come back to.......
    Whats the worst thing that will happen with a few extra friends who are not active.....? Nothing!
  • aprilslusher
    aprilslusher Posts: 127 Member
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    I logged daily for 326 days. My last day logging was November 24th. I hit maintenance back in September/October. I figured I would log for a little while longer then take what I have learned and go for it on my own. (I'm right on target and I'm happily not obsessing over food like I was when I was counting) (I also gave my self a 2lb +/- cushion)

    I recommend a book called "How to have your Cake and your skinny jeans too" by Josie Spinardi

    I still go on MFP daily to encourage my friends and use the Community Boards.

    You are more than welcome to send me a friend request. :flowerforyou:

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