Given up on pretty.

I love the advice "being frumpy never helped anything"

As for my personal experiences...I find that I was actually more obsessed with makeup, nails, accessories, perfectly put-together outfits, etc when I was much heavier. In a way I don't think it was such a great thing because there WAS a part of me I wouldn't have acknowledged that did it to compensate for my weight. Like, "I am a put-together professional with matching expensive and stylish clothes so I'm allowed to participate in this meeting & be heard even though I weigh 307 lb (or 280, or whatever weight I was currently)" Looking back, that wasn't the healthy mindset I should have had. I wish I hadn't gotten my "confidence" from that...but whatever works, I guess, is better than sitting on my sofa in sweats unemployed the whole time!

Now I'm still 208 lb and still losing of course - and I still put effort into looking nice. But my life has changed. I have a new husband who is super attracted to me regardless of clothing choices. I have a much more active lifestyle and even somewhat outdoorsy. My current job doesn't require a highly professional dress code like my old one did. Sometimes now I get in a slump of wearing jeans and long sleeve tees with Keens, and I remind myself the cute skirts/dresses and boots in my closet are just as appropriate for most days so I should rock 'em (because I genuinely like to wear those, too).

I think you should do whatever makes you FEEL good about yourself. If high heels hurt your feet and you think French tips are cheesy, then don't do that. If you feel like a million bucks with new highlights and fake lashes, do that. Don't worry about others' opinion. They will notice your overall presence, your attitude and the confidence you project, more than what you're wearing. At least, people who actually matter will notice that stuff.

I've felt this way before. I came to realize I felt better when I looked nice. Even when I didn't feel like it I took the time to make myself at least presentable, and I was happier once I did. As for weight loss, it's so much easier to take care of a body you love and appreciate no matter what the size. I'm still trying to change my body but have learned to be happy where I started as well as where I am now.

One of the best lessons my mother taught me was to celebrate my body TODAY. When I would try to buy something in a smaller size, she would say, “Get what fits now. When you lose weight, we can come back and buy something else.” It forced me to find fashions flattering for my figure.

Start with well-fitting undergarments. Amazing how great a good bra can make you look and feel! Don’t guess your size. Get measured at a store. Then get all of the grooming done. Nails, hair, makeup. I get professional makeup advice every 6 months as the seasons and my skin tone changes. All of this helps remind me that my body is worth enjoying NOW.

Oddly, enjoying my big body helps motivate me to get smaller. I feel worth the effort it takes to eat well and exercise. And as every 10 pounds lost is a new size for a woman, you should get new clothes to show off as you slide down the scale. Anything! A new t-shirt for working out in. A new lipstick or nail polish.

Losing weight takes a long time. Why should I wait to feel pretty?