The strength of fat people

I'm posting this because I really hope it will motivate people.

I recently starting home strength training. And was really intimidated by the equipment. Thanks to my boyfriend we now have a complete exercise bench at home and I can do almost every possible exercise I can think of.

Here I was, staring at the thing, with my 'New Rules of Lifting for Women' book (that I've read cover to cover twice before feeling I knew enough to start) in my hand and yet absolutely no idea how and where to begin.

Here I was, with my nutrition knowledge, my completely useless walking and dancing skills and my old 'pre-40lbs loss' myself screaming in the back in my head : « Who do you think you are ?! »

Here I was, in over my head, trying to find a reason to postpone the beginning of this new journey. Maybe I should spend more time reading success stories on MFP ? Looking at photos for motivation until I'm ready ? Read 'NROLFW' just one more time ? Wait for next monday ? Or wait for being at X lbs of weight loss ?

How the hell am I supposed to move those stuff around without risking to hurt myself real bad ?

Then I realised something :
I've done this before. Waiting for Someday. Someday always will be the perfect day because it is not today. It's not going to be tomorrow either. Someday is how Neverday dresses up to trick us into staying in the same pattern. I've done this before. Before starting to lose weight.
And then I started, trial and error oh so much !.. I've done the 1200 gross calories a day nonsense, thinking it was the golden rule to weight loss. That I was the kind of snowflake that would succeed this way.

But, after spending a while educated myself I decided that if there was ANY chance I didn't have to be the kind of girl who starves herself into sexypants, I would take it. Knowledge led to moral growth and strength.
And I've succeeded. 40Lbs gone. Wishing I had done it sooner.

I started walking for cardio slow and not long at start. Quickly improved. Fitness videos came in. I cried myself to sleep for not being able to do them well and being so sore the next morning.
It changed too because I didn't wait for Someday, in between sessions.

I was getting strong but not confident enough to do actual strength training, with weights and heavy lifting and everything.

So, in order to convince myself to start I thought about everything we 'fat people' or 'former fat people' deal with on a daily basis. The insults, discrimination, physical pain, no clothes to fit into, self loathing, loneliness, no roller coasters, trouble finding a job, being around people, no self esteem, addiction to food, being looked at (not in a good way), laught at...
AND HOW STRONG WE ACTUALLY ARE TO BEGIN WITH !!!!
We overcome emotionnal pain every single day. And before weight loss I was carrying around 40lbs of extra weight every single second !!
I could lift heavy. I did it before. I used to carry loads of actual and emotionnal weight.

On the first day, I deadlift 40lbs, the amount of weight I lost, as many times as I could (not many...) to celebrate the new part of the journey towards the best possible version of myself.
AND I ENJOYED IT !!

It's going well, strength wise. Even better bodyshape wise. I've never been that happy and confident. Pictures to come.
Until then, progress pictures pre strength training:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1125259-progress-pics-i-feel-so-good-today

Please My Fitness Pals, don't wait for Someday that never comes, believe in yourself NOW since you're already strong. And do it!!!!

Vanessa