Mother has been acting weird after i decided to lose weight.
Options
WingedFoot1
Posts: 2
Hi all I've been browsing these topics for awhile now, but I just decided to make an account today.
I've been overweight ever since I was kid and have failed many dieting attempts through out the years. About a month ago I was noticing that I was having health problems, like lower back pain, and it was because of the fact that I wasn't drinking enough water. When I looked in the mirror I had saw that I'd gained so much more weight than I was before and it woke me up alot. Usually when I diet it only lasts a week, but so far I've been extremely determined and this is my second month.
When I told my mother this she agreed and was very supportive, she even said she would join me and we would lose weight together. I was thrilled that I would have someone to journey with, but it didn't last long. Within a week and a half she gave up and went back to her old eating habits. At first I was trying to motivate her to drink more water and ditch the sodas, and it worked, but only temporary.
As the weeks went by and I reduced my diet to water and healthy foods, I began to feel better about myself and drop some weight. My clothes are loose now, and pants/pajamas that use to stick to me hang off. Even my favorite hoodie is getting bigger. I was really excited about it that and I spoke to her often about what I was doing. She was once again supportive, but onetime we spoke about it she said"oh god that's all you talk about" and it made me feel odd. When I spoke to her I wasn't trying to rub it in her face or anything, I was just hoping it would motivate her to continue. So I stopped talking to her about it, meanwhile she would still do and say little things that would make me raise my eyebrow. Like she told me that I would have to start buying my own water (which im ok with) but buy her one as well. I didn't get why we couldn't share, because my mom hates water, and ends up giving it to me.
That wasn't all of it though.
I admit, when she buys water I drink alot of it, but only because she ends up wasting it and I have to drink it. I let that one slide and laughed it off. Through out the month she would call my phone and ask me what I ate, how much of it I ate, and when she would see me treat myself, say little comments like "You've been going off your diet lately or you don't need that eat this." Which was ok until it started to get annoying. I really tried to put this all in the back of my mind and say to myself that its just my imagination, but with what happened tonight I cant anymore.
Before Thanksgiving I had brought three gallons of water so that it would last me awhile, but there was this gallon of water that I was eager to try once I had got the chance. My mother had brought some too, but to make some koolaid out of it for thanksgiving. Tonight when I went to the fridge to look for the water I couldn't find it right off the bat, but when I did find it, the water jug was almost empty so I asked who drunk it.
She replied in a snotty tone " I did, I made koolaid out of it." I was a little peeved but not mad or anything I asked her why she just didn't use the cold gallon of water that I had in the fridge, and she got smart with me. "You drink MY water all the time." I snapped at her by mistake saying I knew she would try to accuse me of drinking all the water, when in reality my brother was using some to make tea. I could see it took her by surprise and I think I hurt her feelings, so I played it off and said no worries ill buy more water for everyone. I felt like she used THAT gallon of water to make a statement or something. I just don't get it, I had so much cold water she could have used for her juice, but she took a lukewarm water, which happened to be the one I REALLY wanted to drink... Is this all really a coincidence?
Sorry if this was so long, but this was the best way I could describe it.
My mother and I are both overweight, and she has always encouraged me to diet, but now that im actually taking her advice and trying to better myself and my lifestyle, I feel this wall between us. It hurts alot... what do you guys think it is? Theres alot more, but ive already explained the jist of it. Thank you in advance.
I've been overweight ever since I was kid and have failed many dieting attempts through out the years. About a month ago I was noticing that I was having health problems, like lower back pain, and it was because of the fact that I wasn't drinking enough water. When I looked in the mirror I had saw that I'd gained so much more weight than I was before and it woke me up alot. Usually when I diet it only lasts a week, but so far I've been extremely determined and this is my second month.
When I told my mother this she agreed and was very supportive, she even said she would join me and we would lose weight together. I was thrilled that I would have someone to journey with, but it didn't last long. Within a week and a half she gave up and went back to her old eating habits. At first I was trying to motivate her to drink more water and ditch the sodas, and it worked, but only temporary.
As the weeks went by and I reduced my diet to water and healthy foods, I began to feel better about myself and drop some weight. My clothes are loose now, and pants/pajamas that use to stick to me hang off. Even my favorite hoodie is getting bigger. I was really excited about it that and I spoke to her often about what I was doing. She was once again supportive, but onetime we spoke about it she said"oh god that's all you talk about" and it made me feel odd. When I spoke to her I wasn't trying to rub it in her face or anything, I was just hoping it would motivate her to continue. So I stopped talking to her about it, meanwhile she would still do and say little things that would make me raise my eyebrow. Like she told me that I would have to start buying my own water (which im ok with) but buy her one as well. I didn't get why we couldn't share, because my mom hates water, and ends up giving it to me.
That wasn't all of it though.
I admit, when she buys water I drink alot of it, but only because she ends up wasting it and I have to drink it. I let that one slide and laughed it off. Through out the month she would call my phone and ask me what I ate, how much of it I ate, and when she would see me treat myself, say little comments like "You've been going off your diet lately or you don't need that eat this." Which was ok until it started to get annoying. I really tried to put this all in the back of my mind and say to myself that its just my imagination, but with what happened tonight I cant anymore.
Before Thanksgiving I had brought three gallons of water so that it would last me awhile, but there was this gallon of water that I was eager to try once I had got the chance. My mother had brought some too, but to make some koolaid out of it for thanksgiving. Tonight when I went to the fridge to look for the water I couldn't find it right off the bat, but when I did find it, the water jug was almost empty so I asked who drunk it.
She replied in a snotty tone " I did, I made koolaid out of it." I was a little peeved but not mad or anything I asked her why she just didn't use the cold gallon of water that I had in the fridge, and she got smart with me. "You drink MY water all the time." I snapped at her by mistake saying I knew she would try to accuse me of drinking all the water, when in reality my brother was using some to make tea. I could see it took her by surprise and I think I hurt her feelings, so I played it off and said no worries ill buy more water for everyone. I felt like she used THAT gallon of water to make a statement or something. I just don't get it, I had so much cold water she could have used for her juice, but she took a lukewarm water, which happened to be the one I REALLY wanted to drink... Is this all really a coincidence?
Sorry if this was so long, but this was the best way I could describe it.
My mother and I are both overweight, and she has always encouraged me to diet, but now that im actually taking her advice and trying to better myself and my lifestyle, I feel this wall between us. It hurts alot... what do you guys think it is? Theres alot more, but ive already explained the jist of it. Thank you in advance.
0
Replies
-
Um, your getting weird over water?
Just talk to her, ask if she feels weird about you losing weight. Does she feel like it will change you? That maybe you cant "bond" over food?0 -
I think Moms can be jealous just like anyone else. I've been noticing similar things with my mom. I've lost several pounds since March, and many times she will make comments about my weight and my eating habits. She's been making brownies and cookies almost every week, buying tons of junk food, but complaining when I ask for some healthy things because "they're too expensive" and then spending $10 or more of snack cakes and cookies mixes. It's really irritating as your parent is supposed to support you.
I hope you can continue going down the right path and put any off-putting gestures out of your mind and keep on going!
Shelby0 -
You're losing the weight for you not her. Keep on drinking your water and if they can't keep their hands off it hide it in your room. *HUGS*0
-
I know it sounds odd... but yeah that's what I was saying to myself, she seems to have this issue with me drinking so much water. Even when she asks me what do I want to drink in the store... I will have a chat with her about it, and maybe we can clear it up thanks.
0 -
It seems there's quite a bit of mis- or non- communication going on. I would sit her down and tell her how you're feeling, that perhaps she's saying these things and using stuff you've bought for your diet as subtle sabotage, and you like her support through this. You've have some success and I think she's merely jealous and feeling guilty that she didn't stick with it.
I understand. My mom's the same about starting with me, but tapering off. She's never tried to sabotage my efforts, but she doesn't really stick to her promise of being supportive. We work together, and she will leave little "treats" in my office, and when I say something about it and ask her nicely not to, she apologizes and doesn't do it for a while, but then goes back to it.
Your best bet is to stick to your game plan. You sound like you're pretty determined, so don't let anyone stand in your way, even momma!0 -
I'm thinking she might have used it because sugar doesn't really mix well in cold water. Sounds like y'all have bigger issues, and are using little things to argue rather than deal with the actual issue. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel.0
-
I realize that this is completely not the point of this post, but could you use tap water? It might be cheaper in the long run to buy a brita - type purifier and leave that in the fridge. PLUS you gain brownie points for saving the environment.0
-
It's water.
Maybe consider moving out if things are that much of an issue over water.0 -
I'm thinking she might have used it because sugar doesn't really mix well in cold water. Sounds like y'all have bigger issues, and are using little things to argue rather than deal with the actual issue. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel.
^^This. I've had some psych-type problems that I seriously blamed my mother for exacerbating, and... well, my sister described it as me having this ball of rage that just spins off threads every time I talk to my mother, which results in us arguing over the dumbest things. Like I didn't put out sliced tomatoes without being asked, and she asked me to try to make sure I did it the next time I put out sandwich stuff. I got super defensive and it turned into a kind of mess that my older sister (who is fantastic) wound up semi-mediating.
Point being, when everyday things are the foundation for significant expenditure of mental and emotional energy, there's probably something bigger at play.0 -
How old are you?0
-
It's water.
Maybe consider moving out if things are that much of an issue over water.
Yeah this.
Maybe it's just because I live in a city with a fairly low cost of living but I can't even imagine having lived with my parents at 22 and beyond. I think we would have bickered nonstop over everything.
Also, my parents have plenty of $$ but once I was 16 and old enough to work - if I wanted something special like a certain drink around the house, you better believe it was my responsibility to buy it.
Gonna sound like a jerk but I feel like 20-somethings need to either take care of their own life or just deal w/ the parental strife.
As for the jealousy issue though...totally understand that. Although I'm in my 30s and have not lived with my mom since I was a teenager, I still go over to her place 1-2 times a week and she's always talking about wanting to lose weight and eat healthier but when I give her real suggestions she claims that my husband and I eat "weird" and she could never do such CRAZY things as we do (to her crazy is ordering a burrito "naked" with no queso, cooking eggs for breakfast, and drinking black coffee instead of adding in 1/2 c of flavored creamer)
PS I drink tap water and it's perfectly healthy as it comes from the same source as bottled water in a lot of cities. Just sayin!0 -
I realize that this is completely not the point of this post, but could you use tap water? It might be cheaper in the long run to buy a brita - type purifier and leave that in the fridge. PLUS you gain brownie points for saving the environment.
I agree with this.
Also, I agree with starting the moving out process. I moved out when I was 18. I also would have not been able to handle living with my mother into my 20's.0 -
Not everyone is desperate to get away from their parents.0
-
Was your mom very young when she had you? Are you both very pretty? Are you an only child of a single mom?0
-
Not everyone is desperate to get away from their parents.
True...but maybe some people SHOULD be. I see a lot of people in their 20s living like children or teenagers, expecting their parents to provide them with food, drink, iPhone, and not just a car but still paying insurance and gas...I understand some people live in cities where it is super expensive to live, and/or being a full-time student, but that is no excuse to live off your parents well into adulthood. Also, it's just not healthy to have dueling ADULT women living under one roof. Psychologists have done studies on that and it's taxing for both/all parties.0 -
OP Deactivated.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 934 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions