Does setting a goal stress you out?

Maybe you should set goals that don't necessarily have to do with losing X Lbs in Y time frame. Often times those goals are completely unrealistic and you only have partial control (you have virtually no control over natural weight fluctuations)....you also have to understand that as you lose weight, your ability to lose at the same rate decreases as your body fat is decreasing. When you set goals it is important to understand the goal you're setting...if you don't then it's likely you are setting yourself up for failure and yeah, that can be stressful.

I've never set a goal of losing X Lbs in Y months or whatever. My goals are more oriented towards fitness and nutrition in general...weight loss and looking more awesome by the day is a bi-product of hitting those other goals...and while I did have an ultimate goal BF% (not weight) I had no time frame for getting there...it's just a result of smashing my other goals.

Setting a number goal (even a small one like a pound/week) seems to mess me up...because if the scale is not friendly, I just want to give up. I do better to set goals that have to do with consistency...like, I will keep my calories to x/day or I will drink 8+ cups of water/day or I will do four-60 minute cardio sessions per week (or weights or yoga or whatever.) These types of goals are a win-win (I think) because I am in charge of whether I accomplish them or not, and if I *do,* the weight loss will surely follow!

I have come to love goal setting, but try to make sure they're realistic, that I don't set too many at once, and I don't put a rigid time frame on it. At least not with something like weight loss. It doesn't always happen at the rate you think it will, and I think that keeping going and achieving the goal is more important than getting stressed over achieving the goal by a certain date. Getting healthy, managing your weight and improving your body composition s an ongoing process anyway. It's never made sense to me to aim for a particular date.

Yes and no. Depends on the goal. My ultimate goal was always just being happy with my body so whatever that number was WAS never known to me so that didn't stress me out. My weekly goal is working out at least 6 days a week and that doesn't stress me out...

but goals like "no eating this or that for a month," use to make me bonkers. I can't restrict and It would make me crazy inside.

I've just realized something about myself. When I set a goal for myself I start to stress about not making the goal when it gets close. Often this causes me to sabotage my efforts, making me not make the goal, again! When I started at MFP I set a goal to lose 40 lbs in a year (I really need to lose 70-80 but thought why rush myself) and I was doing great, I was down 28lbs, working on the C25K program, eating really well and then I plateaued and couldn't get over the 30 lb mark & started to stress about it. Tried a few different things and gained weight & continued to stress, which of course contributed to the weight gain. *sigh* So here I am at day 325 on MFP and I've gained back 10 lbs. I'm mad and disappointed at myself but mostly I'm afraid I'll never reach my goals if every time I get close I give up.

Yes, this is a bit of a pity party, so please hold back any negative comments, I've said them all to myself already thanks, but if anyone is having the same issues or even close I'd love to hear about it. Misery loves company

No because I love the challenge. I have a quote that says: if you focus on results you will never change. if you focus on change you will get results.

I get excited over the change part. Then I start a new change once this is done.

Goals help me but as others have noted, maybe it's having a different goal than the typical x lbs by y date. Celebrate the 18 lbs lost as that is a noteworthy accomplishment! You are in a marathon - you accomplish weight loss by doing "things" to take care of yourself. Those "things" should be your goals - workout routine, calorie counting, meal planning, etc. Focus on those for the day to day, make adjustments over time to achieve the results (weight loss, measurements) you desire. Congrats on what you have done so far!

no

I've just realized something about myself. When I set a goal for myself I start to stress about not making the goal when it gets close. Often this causes me to sabotage my efforts, making me not make the goal, again! When I started at MFP I set a goal to lose 40 lbs in a year (I really need to lose 70-80 but thought why rush myself) and I was doing great, I was down 28lbs, working on the C25K program, eating really well and then I plateaued and couldn't get over the 30 lb mark & started to stress about it. Tried a few different things and gained weight & continued to stress, which of course contributed to the weight gain. *sigh* So here I am at day 325 on MFP and I've gained back 10 lbs. I'm mad and disappointed at myself but mostly I'm afraid I'll never reach my goals if every time I get close I give up.

Yes, this is a bit of a pity party, so please hold back any negative comments, I've said them all to myself already thanks, but if anyone is having the same issues or even close I'd love to hear about it. Misery loves company

So you have shared some things about yourself: 1) Fear of Failure - so if you sabatoge your efforts, you didn't necessarily fail at reaching your goal because you quit the process before the end (unconscious self-talk). Been there, done that. Change your self-talk. I find myself "arguing" with myself quite often these days: "Why are you here? Look how hard you've worked. Are you really gonna throw in the towel?" etc. Sounds crazy but arguing myself out of bad decisions really helps. :laugh: 2) Goals with a "drop-dead end date" don't work for you - so it is better for you to have an idea of where you are ultimately going, but in the meantime, small weekly goals will probably work better for you (i.e. goal to stay under calorie count 6 of 7 days this week, goal to exercise XX total minutes for the week. 3) You hit a plateau and never made it over the hump, spiraled into a "crash and burn" ending. - There is no "ending". Just brush yourself off and jump back on that horse. Over the summer, I lost 20 lbs. through using MFP and was quite proud of myself. Then I hit a plateau and became frustrated. So I consciously decided to use a month for maintenance and jump back in with both feet. I joined a challenge group in the MFP community (two actually) and within the challenge group we have weekly challenges and we check-in with each other and encourage each other. This gave me the daily accountability and support that I needed and I have lost an additional 8.6 lbs during November, with aspirations of losing even more before the end of the holiday season!!

So yes, I have been in your shoes ... many, many times. At 50 years old, I am FINALLY losing my post-baby weight (my babies are 15 and 18 years old. :huh: ). Summary: Dust yourself off, reset your goals to include small challenges along the way, make the journey fun for yourself - not stressful, celebrate the victories along the way, and find yourself a group to plug into. If you are interested in more about my group, message me ...

Good luck to you!!

I've just realized something about myself. When I set a goal for myself I start to stress about not making the goal when it gets close. Often this causes me to sabotage my efforts, making me not make the goal, again!

Perhaps the goal is too "big" in your head? Instead of saying ___ LBS in _____ timeframe...make it " I want to lose ____ LBS" and when you've hit that adjust your goal. Instead of letting yourself focus mental energy on "How fast am I getting to the end?" make it about "Am I seeing SOME form of progress?" The non-scale victories in other words...Am I eating below my goal calories? Am I exercising? If I'm getting "bored" with my current exercise regimen, am I doing something to switch it up? If I'm bored with my "diet" food is it because I follow it so strictly that I've said "(FOOD YOU REALLY LIKE BUT MAY HAVE HIGH-FAT, HIGH-CARB, HIGH-WHATEVER) is off-limits!" instead of "I will eat smaller portions of this" or "Less frequently" or "I will reduce calories later in day to make up" or "I will offset it with exercise" etc. etc.