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Am I self-limiting myself?

Saramelie
Saramelie Posts: 308 Member
edited February 8 in Motivation and Support
I beleive that people achieve what they believe they CAN achieve. That the brain will direct the result.

So, with this is mind, I'm thinking about my past weight, current weight and goal weight and asking myself : ``Am I selling myself short?? Am I conditionning my brain to stop the weight loss before I am trully happy with myself??`.

Let me explain : My highest weight was 232. I am now at 210. I`ve been yoyo-ing with my weight all my life (175 to 120, 120 to 200, 200 to 140, 140 to 200, 200 to 160, 160 to 232. etc). Because I`ve been mostly big all my life, except when I was dieting/not eating or exercising like crazy, I have this belief that I am not made to go under 140, if even, in a healthy way. Like I am scared to think that I could even get there (because my ultimate dream goal is 132). The lowest I`ve even been without doing crazy stuff was160.

Yet, I see a bunch of ladies here that are my height (5'4) and weight way less than 140 and seems to just maintain it and still eat a lot (my other fear - to try to get small and then not be able to eat enought to feel full)

So, all this rambling to ask : Do you feel the same? Like you are giving yourself a higher goal just to not get dissapointed in the end... or because you are just too afraid too believe in yourself? I really want to BELIEVE that I can achieve 132 the healthy way, I don`t want to set myself for failure or selling myself short.

How do I by-pass this.... fear of success?? fear of failure? I don`t even know what it is........

Replies

  • SnackHips
    SnackHips Posts: 90 Member
    Yes. I am 5'1 and spent many years at 100-115. My goal is 120 which isn't that "high" in comparison. I have started to wonder if I will ever get out of the 150's though and would consider 140's or 130's as a success at this point. My body has just become so use to this weight that I have doubts in even the remote possibility of being smaller sometimes. It isn't just in the head though. Science shows that people that gain weight have to work harder to maintain after their bodies have been at a higher weight than those at the same weight as them.
  • Saramelie
    Saramelie Posts: 308 Member
    I`ve made up my mind this morning : I WILL reach 132! I refuse to let my fear dictate my (lack of) success!
    Cahnged my ultimate goal.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    I think I started doing better when I stopped obsessing about what the "ultimate" goal was going to be, and just started doing the best I could to get fit, healthy, and be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. To be honest, it doesn't really stop when you hit that magic number anyway.
  • Saramelie
    Saramelie Posts: 308 Member
    I think I started doing better when I stopped obsessing about what the "ultimate" goal was going to be, and just started doing the best I could to get fit, healthy, and be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. To be honest, it doesn't really stop when you hit that magic number anyway.

    Yeah, you`re probably right. But for now I NEED to have a clear objective in mind. What do you mean by ``it`s doesn`t really stop when you hit the magic number``?
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    .What do you mean by ``it`s doesn`t really stop when you hit the magic number``?
    After you reach your goal weight, there is maintenance. And then there's recomping, or cutting and bulking, or setting and reaching fitness goals like a new personal record in weight lifted or distance/time run. There's always something new to reach for. That's how you keep going. Pretty sure that's what she meant, and she's right.
  • lighteningjeanne855
    lighteningjeanne855 Posts: 566 Member
    Saramelie: BABY STEPS!

    1) What foods make you binge upon?
    Find a way to limit them to special occasions, or eliminate them Completely until you hit Maintenance.

    2) You don't have to set an Ultimate Goal as yet.
    Many folks on here set a goal, and when they reach it, they decide whether they want to stop, or continue downward.

    3) Set Mini-Goals, to make life more manageable.
    a) set your weight loss goals at 15-20 pound increments. They aren't as scary as "50 (or 80) pounds to lose
    b) set your activity goals at achievable levels: 30 minutes of jogging can start at 10 minutes at a time,
    and then you can increase the workout in 5- minute increments.


    4) Do your own research online
    You can use MFP as a starting point. Look at the "Getting Started" forum for some terrific assistance
    Some topics I can suggest are:
    satiety
    umami
    food allergies
    inflammation
    exercises for the (morbidly) obese
    metabolism
    macro- and micro-nutrients
    hand weights routines
    body weight exercises
    exercises to do at your desk
    recommended supplements

    Remember: BABY STEPS!
    Just change a few things each week. You are learning a new lifestyle, forming new habits
    which will decrease your size, and increase your health.
    Your self-esteem will shoot past the moon!

    Best wishes!
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I think I started doing better when I stopped obsessing about what the "ultimate" goal was going to be, and just started doing the best I could to get fit, healthy, and be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. To be honest, it doesn't really stop when you hit that magic number anyway.

    ^^^^ this

    also, frame size varies not just height, so just because someone's the same height as you, it doesn't mean you should weigh the same as they do. As it's hard to tell your frame size especially if you still have fat to lose, it's better to go by body fat percentage. i.e. get that measured in a reliable way, and you can calculate how much fat your body's carrying, and how much you need to lose to get the look that you want. Leigh Peele's blog has pictures of men and women at different body fat percentages. You can use that information to work out what your ideal weight is, i.e. how much you'd weigh if you lost the amount of fat you need to lose to look the way you want to look.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I think I started doing better when I stopped obsessing about what the "ultimate" goal was going to be, and just started doing the best I could to get fit, healthy, and be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. To be honest, it doesn't really stop when you hit that magic number anyway.

    Yeah, you`re probably right. But for now I NEED to have a clear objective in mind. What do you mean by ``it`s doesn`t really stop when you hit the magic number``?

    plenty of people hit their goal weight number and are still not happy with how they look. Maybe because they still have a higher body fat percentage than they like, which could be due to loss of muscle mass or having a smaller frame size than they originally thought. Focusing on an ideal body composition, i.e. losing fat, retaining muscle mass and bone density, and getting a particular look (which comes from body fat percentage, not weight) generally results in people being more satisfied with the results. What you really want is to look good in the mirror and fit in smaller clothes... what the scale says shouldn't matter if you achieve that.
  • Saramelie
    Saramelie Posts: 308 Member
    Thanks for all your comments.
    I've decided to have a higher first goal because since changing it to 132 I am having anxiety about it (stupid, I know, it's just a number......). So for now I'll set it at 150 just to have a number in mind, and focus on proper nutrition and moving my body. Once I am there I'll see if I keep going or not. I was 150 once and pretty happy about my shape.
    Thanks again!
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    .What do you mean by ``it`s doesn`t really stop when you hit the magic number``?
    After you reach your goal weight, there is maintenance. And then there's recomping, or cutting and bulking, or setting and reaching fitness goals like a new personal record in weight lifted or distance/time run. There's always something new to reach for. That's how you keep going. Pretty sure that's what she meant, and she's right.
    Yep, that's pretty much what I meant. Even if you have no interest in fitness or body recomposition, you will still have to work hard at maintaining. A lot of people find it harder than the losing phase. It gets easier of course, but you still have to work at it. And, chances are, you will be interested in new goals related to fitness and possibly still changing your body recomposition. I don't think many people hit their goal and suddenly switch from being dissatisfied with their body to being completely happy with it. It's partly mental, but it's also the natural desire to keep making progress. Having fitness goals is also a great way to stay motivated when you're maintaining and no longer seeing the scale change.
    I've decided to have a higher first goal because since changing it to 132 I am having anxiety about it
    I think that's fine. Do what works for you. If setting a lower number psychs you out, then set a higher number. Things change, as you get closer to that number you'll probably get more comfortable with the lower number. And, even if you decide to stick at 150, you'll be fitter and healthier than where you are now.
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