Now Recruiting for the Apocalypse Training Academy

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BananaAssassin
BananaAssassin Posts: 44 Member
in Introduce Yourself
:heart: 'Sup, you beautiful beings?

I don't know if you've heard, but the apocalypse is coming (again) (not really) and we need to get off our *kitten* and train like a motherlover to protect our families (and that cute guy from work). I have 45lbs to lose until I reach my goal of 150lbs, and I plan on doing this by eating clean and training DIRTY. You see, I am the Slayer. The Chosen One (well, one of them anyway).

Now, I know it seems like a tough ride but no matter how we plan on doing it, we all want the same damn thing, don't we? We all want to feel better, look better and BE better. So, instead of walking this road alone, why not walk it with an army of badasses beside you?

Here's how it happens. If you don't mind a 22 year idiot called Sammy on your timeline, talking about her latest struggles with cake addiction and spewing nonsense about eating your greens, then add me. Let's get this *kitten* started, yo. The sooner we begin, the sooner we can finish our training and kick some zombie *kitten* (unless they're those slow and dopey zombies, in which case we can just run around them in circles and giggle).

DO IT. ADD ME. BEFRIEND ME. AND THEN FIGHT ME.

(Sorry - I've been watching a lot of The Walking Dead recently. Although this is normal behaviour for me.)
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Replies

  • Ainar
    Ainar Posts: 858 Member
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    You are crazy! Or maybe trolling, I'm not quite sure. But lemme tell you, there is no such thing as zombies. And there certainly is not coming zombie apocalypse. You are talking complete nonsense here. Don't worry about that, it's silly. The only thing you should be really and seriously concerned is alien invasion! I already started to prepare my aluminum foil hat. Please make one too, you don't want them to mess with your head. They are coming! Be safe and be careful!
  • Cortelli
    Cortelli Posts: 1,369 Member
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    :happy: Funny. I like your style. FR coming.
  • Primeval_Princess
    Primeval_Princess Posts: 52
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    :happy: Funny. I like your style. FR coming.

    yep .... request sent
  • RDJW
    RDJW Posts: 2
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    Lets do it for Hersel!!!! adding you now
  • red_road
    red_road Posts: 761 Member
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    :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • TheFangsKittie
    TheFangsKittie Posts: 117 Member
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    If there's one thing a tfk loves its a zombie lover. Or a vampire. FRIENDS?
  • kimrivercity
    kimrivercity Posts: 9
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    haha, I like your energy, and attitude. I'm in! Just joined. So I'm new to the entire program and need to ramp up, educate myself before I get to the starting line. Let's do this!
  • bunnybutler29
    bunnybutler29 Posts: 291
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    Funny stuff fr sent:)
  • paddgirl21
    paddgirl21 Posts: 154 Member
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    Lets do it for Hersel!!!! adding you now

    Yes! Love it!
  • Zombieinkpot
    Zombieinkpot Posts: 745 Member
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    Awesome. I like the sound of ATA. I'm a slow zombie, so feel free to run around me and giggle.
  • Artemis726
    Artemis726 Posts: 587 Member
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    :laugh: FR sent!
  • ImtheOnethatsCool
    ImtheOnethatsCool Posts: 212 Member
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    As long as you don't talk about detoxes, cleanses, whatever Dr Oz is shilling this week, or beating yourself up daily, I'm good.
  • Cortelli
    Cortelli Posts: 1,369 Member
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    We may not have as much time as we would like:

    http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Bookies_offer_odds_on_Xmas_zombie_apocalypse

    TEXT:

    Ladbrokes is offering odds of 2,000/1 for a zombie apocalypse to happen on Christmas Day this year.

    The odds mean that a rise of the undead is more than twice likely as the 5,000/1 shot of Crystal Palace winning the Premier League this season.

    Prince Harry marrying Miley Cyrus however is slightly more likely with odds of 500/1 and a white Christmas in London is just 5/1.

    Despite this, zombie expert and Ministry of Zombies founder Sean Page is urging people to prepare for the worst.

    "The public are always interested in the odds of a white Christmas, but they should be more concerned by the increasing likelihood of a zombie apocalypse," he said.

    "The most likely time for an outbreak is during the busy festive season as people spend more time in large groups, making it easier for the zombie virus to spread, triggering the apocalypse."

    While Ladbrokes has forecast the odds of a zombie apocalypse, the bookmaker say the public should not be concerned.

    Ladbrokes spokesman Alex Donohue said: "We are confident that the odds of a zombie apocalypse at 2,000/1 are correct, and although the public should exert caution over the Christmas period, they should not be unduly concerned about the chances of the undead rising up to attack and eat the living."
  • kimrivercity
    kimrivercity Posts: 9
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    LOL Cortelli @ your zombie prediction.

    How about this posted on Facebook by Caleb Wilde:

    "As a mortician, I always tie the shoelaces together of the dead. Cause if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it will be hilarious."

    his post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=190730027797851&set=a.167823470088507.1073741829.163513530519501&type=1&theater
  • quickstraw
    quickstraw Posts: 8 Member
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    You sound awesome. haha.
  • BananaAssassin
    BananaAssassin Posts: 44 Member
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    RE: kimrivercity

    I saw that! OMG! The best!
  • BokBagok
    BokBagok Posts: 345
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    Sent - I don't want to be the one to be caught and eaten because everyone else is faster then me...
  • scottyg70
    scottyg70 Posts: 388 Member
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    Love your style..FR on it's way!
  • m00tmike
    m00tmike Posts: 248 Member
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    Lets do it for Hersel!!!! adding you now

    Hershel? What happens to Hershel?! Lol
    Also sending that fr yo.
  • BananaAssassin
    BananaAssassin Posts: 44 Member
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    Lets do it for Hersel!!!! adding you now

    Hershel? What happens to Hershel?! Lol
    Also sending that fr yo.

    Nothing happens to Hershel. Hershel meets a nice lady and settles down and adopts a bunch of zombies and sings lullabies to Rick and... RUN!!!

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