Knowing When to Quit?
xxcooneyxx
Posts: 221 Member
Knowing when to quit
Well I think I have discussed this subject with several of you before, but I find myself again contemplating what my goal weight/bf%/measurements should be. This post is going to be long, with a lot of pictures, but I appreciate you guy's inputs very much. I don't think I could have gotten this far in a healthy way without you all.
So I have Body Dimorphic Disorder (BDD), which I think might be the cause of my issue. My original goal weight was 149, because that was the weight that would put me into a healthy BMI range. As I got close to 149, I decided I still felt pretty chunky, and decided to re-calibrate my goal to 130. 130 would put me dead center of my healthy BMI range. I am now at 138 lbs. I was stuck at 140 for months, and the last two pounds have come off PAINFULLY slowly. I know it gets harder to lose weight, the smaller you get, but it seemed to me, that as soon as I hit 140, my body just completely locked up and refused to lose weight without extreme long-term effort on my part. All the while I had friends and family members telling me I didn't need to lose any more weight. But heck, they told me that when I was at 160 and 170 and 180 too, so I am used to ignoring them at this point.
Well, today I was talking to my brother. At 140, my bf% was at 25%, and my bother told me that if I lost 10 lbs of pure fat, that at my goal of 130, my bf% would be at 19, which he says is not really healthy for a girl. I've also been getting a lot of comments from strangers and acquaintances lately (people who don't know I'm trying to lose weight) who tell me “You look really fit!” Which is new to me. I never used to get “fit” before. I hear time and time again from others, that I should stop losing weight when I am happy with how I look, but having eating disorders and the BDD, I don't think I'll even be happy with how I look 100% and part of that is due to me not really comprehending how I look. Sometimes I even get paranoid that people are telling me to stop losing weight because they know I have an ED and they are worried about me, even though I'm really doing fine. I feel like the people who love me, would rather me be “chunky and healthy” than “skinny and sick”, so I worry they lie to me. I'm sane enough to know though, that i'm most likely just being a paranoid idiot.
To be honest, my original goal was to get slim and skinny. I wanted to feel “delicate” for once in my life, instead of this huge oaf-y girl that I always saw myself as. Now I'm beginning to see that my body doesn't really seem to go the “delicate” direction, even when I'm so much smaller. I feel like I have more dense muscle mass than a lot of the girls in my town. I'm willing to learn to be ok with this. I just wish someone could tell me objectively if I should still go for the last 8 lbs or not.
I know the title of this is “Knowing when to quit”, but I just wanted to say that I plan to count calories the rest of my life and stay very active, so I;m not going to “quit” all together, but maybe I should quit trying to lose weight? Any incite would be greatly appreciated.
Body progress
Face Progress
Leg Muscle!
Sitting
Dressed up
Skin starting to tighten up
Well I think I have discussed this subject with several of you before, but I find myself again contemplating what my goal weight/bf%/measurements should be. This post is going to be long, with a lot of pictures, but I appreciate you guy's inputs very much. I don't think I could have gotten this far in a healthy way without you all.
So I have Body Dimorphic Disorder (BDD), which I think might be the cause of my issue. My original goal weight was 149, because that was the weight that would put me into a healthy BMI range. As I got close to 149, I decided I still felt pretty chunky, and decided to re-calibrate my goal to 130. 130 would put me dead center of my healthy BMI range. I am now at 138 lbs. I was stuck at 140 for months, and the last two pounds have come off PAINFULLY slowly. I know it gets harder to lose weight, the smaller you get, but it seemed to me, that as soon as I hit 140, my body just completely locked up and refused to lose weight without extreme long-term effort on my part. All the while I had friends and family members telling me I didn't need to lose any more weight. But heck, they told me that when I was at 160 and 170 and 180 too, so I am used to ignoring them at this point.
Well, today I was talking to my brother. At 140, my bf% was at 25%, and my bother told me that if I lost 10 lbs of pure fat, that at my goal of 130, my bf% would be at 19, which he says is not really healthy for a girl. I've also been getting a lot of comments from strangers and acquaintances lately (people who don't know I'm trying to lose weight) who tell me “You look really fit!” Which is new to me. I never used to get “fit” before. I hear time and time again from others, that I should stop losing weight when I am happy with how I look, but having eating disorders and the BDD, I don't think I'll even be happy with how I look 100% and part of that is due to me not really comprehending how I look. Sometimes I even get paranoid that people are telling me to stop losing weight because they know I have an ED and they are worried about me, even though I'm really doing fine. I feel like the people who love me, would rather me be “chunky and healthy” than “skinny and sick”, so I worry they lie to me. I'm sane enough to know though, that i'm most likely just being a paranoid idiot.
To be honest, my original goal was to get slim and skinny. I wanted to feel “delicate” for once in my life, instead of this huge oaf-y girl that I always saw myself as. Now I'm beginning to see that my body doesn't really seem to go the “delicate” direction, even when I'm so much smaller. I feel like I have more dense muscle mass than a lot of the girls in my town. I'm willing to learn to be ok with this. I just wish someone could tell me objectively if I should still go for the last 8 lbs or not.
I know the title of this is “Knowing when to quit”, but I just wanted to say that I plan to count calories the rest of my life and stay very active, so I;m not going to “quit” all together, but maybe I should quit trying to lose weight? Any incite would be greatly appreciated.
Body progress Face Progress Leg Muscle! Sitting Dressed up Skin starting to tighten up 0
Replies
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No, do not go for the last 8 pounds. I think you look great and I know as a recovering bulimic that you'll never really think it's enough if you keep losing now. So, I'm going to ask you to please maintain where you are for 2-3 months and get used to looking at the new you in the mirror. Strangers see you as fit; I see you as fit; your body is starting to fight you for every pound; your family is afraid you will make yourself sick again. 3 months from now, if you still want to fight for those 8 pounds, go for it. Right now, take a break, maintain, show your family you are capable of stopping. You've got this in you. I know you do. Good luck!0
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I agree! You look great here! No need to keep going!No, do not go for the last 8 pounds. I think you look great and I know as a recovering bulimic that you'll never really think it's enough if you keep losing now. So, I'm going to ask you to please maintain where you are for 2-3 months and get used to looking at the new you in the mirror. Strangers see you as fit; I see you as fit; your body is starting to fight you for every pound; your family is afraid you will make yourself sick again. 3 months from now, if you still want to fight for those 8 pounds, go for it. Right now, take a break, maintain, show your family you are capable of stopping. You've got this in you. I know you do. Good luck!0 -
I agree with Melissa...stop here, maintain and then reevaluate. You look fantastic as is.0
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You look beautiful! Even a bit thin and delicate, too. ;-) I agree, just stick with maintenance for awhile. You don't look like you need to lose weight and from what you said, sounds you might be better off working on your mind instead of your body for awhile (self acceptance, confidence, etc.)
Congrats on your loss and your fitness!0 -
I also agree that it would be a good idea to pause. See what maintenance feels like at 140 for a few months. You look spectacular right now. Give yourself some time to start seeing it in the mirror.0
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Don't go for the last 8 pounds. You look seriously awesome.0
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Girl - you just told my story. I'm 5'4" - at 19 I went from 170lbs to 87lbs. Continued to restrict and toe a healthy weight between 100-110 lbs for the next 8 years. The year before I got married I relapsed back to 90 lbs. I promised my husband I was decisively done with undereating and for the first time, I actually cared about doing a sustained recovery.
I have since gained 25 lbs and am about where you are - I wish I could lose just a few to feel more "delicate." However, my body does NOT work at a lower BMI, even in the healthy range (i.e. 18 or 19). I have had problems with fertility and do not know what weight will make me be able to conceive.
I agree with the others - it will never be enough, no matter how much you lose. Take it from someone who did just that - even at my lowest weight, when my organs were shutting down, I still saw myself as fat. Trust what the people who love you say what they see.
Focus on nourishing your body and reasonable exercise and your body may or may not change how you want. But your mindset towards your body will.0 -
I'm not a professional, so I'm not going to tell you what to do.
BUT you'z looking hawt.
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You look terrific ! time to just do some weights to firm up 0
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You look awesome! I agree with others, stop, maintain and after a few months reevaluate. Because you were the "pretty fat girl" (and yes, you looked pretty even in your before pictures), you're going to still see that "fat girl". You look great!0
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i agree you look just right where you are now. any less and I think you'd start looking a little scrawny...this looks like a good place to start maintaining. congrats on the loss.0
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I would stop worrying about numbers on the scale OR body fat % right now. I'd focus on different goals: fitness related. That's seemed to help me tremendously with my ED and BDD. Aim to run faster and/or longer, swim more, etc. Aiming to lift heavier weights is a HUGE one, because lifting will help reduce body fat % while still allowing you to eat--and we don't want you to fall into the "purging" or "not eating" trap again.
Don't get me wrong--these tips are by no means perfect. I'm essentially at my "goal weight" and have already thought, more than once, about dropping further and further.
If you have an ED and BDD, are you actively seeing a therapist? That'd be helpful, particularly as you get closer to lower body weight/body fat %.
It's a hard place to be, not trusting yourself or your perception, and also knowing when enough is enough.
For the record, though, 19% body fat is completely healthy for a female. 12-15% is more of the threshold of potential problems, and even then, many athletes fall into this category (though, again, be careful--even the fittest people can lose menstruation, etc.).
ETA: I do, personally, think you look fine. Focusing on strength training while eating at maintenance seems like a good bet... and seeing a professional to help be the sound board for you, too.0 -
You look great right where you are. Ask yourself how would losing an additional 8 lbs really improve my life? Would you be able to accomplish more through out your day or in your workouts? Would you have greater success at your job or in relationships? Maybe the fight to keep losing might actually hurt those things. I agree with other posters that say give maintenance a try. If you don't already you might what to give strength training a try to tighter up those areas that you think may still need some work and to drop body fat % lower while gaining muscle and maintaining your current weight. Really you look great and if I were in your shoes I'd be done and ready to move into maintenance. Congratulations on all your hard work and success.0
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Oh my! You look fantastic! I agree with the other commenters - it looks like a great time to maintain for a while and let your body and mind adjust to where you are now. Because where you are now is really, WOW!!
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You look fantastic and I definitely don't think you need to lose any more. Why not change your focus to fitness-related goals now so you have something healthy to work towards0
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You look beautiful! Even a bit thin and delicate, too. ;-) I agree, just stick with maintenance for awhile. You don't look like you need to lose weight and from what you said, sounds you might be better off working on your mind instead of your body for awhile (self acceptance, confidence, etc.)
Congrats on your loss and your fitness!
This.
Actually, it sounds like you ARE working on your mind, too. Keep up the good work.
And now that you've tackled your body, why not work on something less physical? maybe as a reward for putting fitness first (before "skinny") you could do something that you've wanted to do (learn to play an instrument, take a flower arranging class, whatever)
big hugs and congrats, honey!0 -
You look beautiful, and you are slim. I wouldn't change a thing. ;-)0
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Thanks guys! All your comments mean a lot to me. Really.0
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