Your fav line from Christmas Vacation ( National Lampoon's )

2

Replies

  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    How about a kiss?

    Uh, you might wanna take a rain check on that. He's got a lip fungus they haven't identified, yet.
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
    He’s cute ain’t he? Only problem is, he’s got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in ‘im. If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town. You don’t want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it’s best to just let ‘im finish.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Clark: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my *kitten*. Kiss his *kitten*. Kiss your *kitten*. Happy Hanukkah."

    Also

    Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
    Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
    Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
    Clark: I wasn't talking to you.
  • potatogirl741
    potatogirl741 Posts: 64 Member
    'Then why is the carpet wet TODD?!'
    'I don't know MARGOT!'
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    Clark: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my *kitten*. Kiss his *kitten*. Kiss your *kitten*. Happy Hanukkah."

    Also

    Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
    Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
    Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
    Clark: I wasn't talking to you.

    Oh yeah...I forgot about both of these. Awesome!!
  • bikercowboy
    bikercowboy Posts: 404
    "Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!@kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-@ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s@!t he is. Hallelujah. Holy s@!t. Where's the Tylenol?"

    ha ha!!!!.... a classic
  • bikercowboy
    bikercowboy Posts: 404
    God all of these are so good..... I'm glad I started this topic, thanks for the laughs people !!!
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
    and WHY is the carpet all wet Todd????
    ..............I don't KNOW MArgot!!!



    LOVE this post!!!
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.

    Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?

    Nora Griswold: Grace!

    Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.

    Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.

    [Bethany shakes her head in confusion]

    Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!

    Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

    Clark: Amen.
  • Lindaspencer
    Lindaspencer Posts: 226 Member
    omg - too many to pick just one - i love this movie - lol :)
  • ProgressNotPerfection32
    ProgressNotPerfection32 Posts: 1,155 Member
    I've got to go with:

    Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.
    Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    We're alright, thank God we're alright

    ChristmasVacationdriving.jpg
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    1. So...when'd you get the tenement on wheels?
    2. Is your house on fire Clark? No Aunt Bethany. Those are Christmas Lights.
    3. Scared? or Nervous? Sh!ttin' bricks. You shouldn't use that word. Sorry...Sh!ttin' rocks.
    4. We're not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those STUPID ties with the santa clause on it are we? No. I have one of those at home.

    Oh I could go on and on....
  • Lindsay_1984
    Lindsay_1984 Posts: 85 Member
    126692_****ter_was_full.jpg
  • joe_madre
    joe_madre Posts: 693
    That's pretty low, mister! If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you with it.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Eddie: Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    It wouldn't be the holiday season if the malls were any hooter, hotter than they are.
  • AsianSuperfly
    AsianSuperfly Posts: 73 Member
    "You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant." Make's me laugh every time.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    Is your house on fire, Clark?

    No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,597 Member
    How the hell do you post a pic?

    That's not a line from the movie, that's me asking.

    That's not a line either.

    This could go on forever.

    Not a line.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Eddie: "I got the oldest daughter in the clinic gettin' cured off the Wild Turkey. And my other boy is preparin' for his career.
    Clark: College?
    Eddie: No, carnival. Right now he's the pixie dust spreader on the tilt-a-whirl. One day he hopes to be barkin' for the Yack Woman. You ever see her? She's got the horns comin right out of her head. Yea, she's ugly as sin. But a sweet gal, and a he\\-of-a good cook."


    christmas+vacation+drinking+from+moose+glasses.jpg
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    little girl - him's so nervous he's ****eing bricks
    Clark - you know you shouldn't use language like that.
    little girl - sorry. ****eing rocks

    lol
  • ProgressNotPerfection32
    ProgressNotPerfection32 Posts: 1,155 Member
    [To Eddie] Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?
  • pete_76
    pete_76 Posts: 208
    Grace? She died years ago!
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    After seeing this thread yesterday, I had to watch it again last night for the millionth time. I kept busting out laughing every time one of the lines from this thread came on. Best Holiday movie ever!
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    "Oh, he's just yakin' on a bone"
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.
  • jlzrdking
    jlzrdking Posts: 501 Member
    you_serious_clark.jpg
  • jeffd247
    jeffd247 Posts: 319 Member
    [To Eddie] Can I get you any more egg nog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead?

    +1.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    Little Full! Lotta Sap. Looks GREAT!

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